I judge people.
I remember the first time I judged someone. I was maybe four years old, perhaps three. We lived in an apartment complex that was about fifteen two story buildings with a courtyard in the middle. During the day all the Moms used to bring our their lawn chairs, and the kids would all play.
I was a shy kid, not known for playing with other kids. I would bring something down, usually jacks, and play by myself. There was a little boy who constantly stole my jacks and was mean to me. I decided he was the most horrible person ever. I totally judged him by his actions…
Now I know most of you are saying that I wasn’t judging- that I was reacting to much evidence that this kid wasn’t nice.
But let’s go a step further…
This kid had a birthmark on his face.
I began to treat people with birthmarks as if they had the plague… I assumed his mean behavior was caused by the birthmark. (now before you say anything, this was more of a dark freckle on his cheek and not something that covered his entire face which might have soured his outlook)
So before I even went to school, I had already judged someone…
So when is the first time that you remember judging someone?
When did you last judge someone?
For the purposes of today, we are going to say that judging is an adapted or learned trait- nurture so to speak…
So, assuming that my environment causes me to judge, let’s think about things that people do that make me judge them:
- men wearing jewelry other than a wedding ring or watch (I would have kicked out Mr. Darcy based on his pinky ring- even though I know the origins of those pieces…)
- wearing heels when they walk around the streets
- not eating cheese
- talking about how they only eat “clean” as I’m about to bite into a cheeseburger
- asking why you’re not married, or when you’re having a baby
- blindly sharing things on social media yet never having content of your own to share
- opening up food in the market before you’ve paid, and this includes trying a grape
- not reading
- watching reality tv where people pull hair, trash tables and reveal who the baby daddy really is
- talking the talk without walking the walk
I could go on, but you get the idea. People do certain things- I make judgements.
People do things, we all make judgements…
So- what do you judge people on? What little peccadillos really get under your skin? Which qualities that others have really make you judge them?
You don’t need to answer here, but think about it to yourself.
Then decide if judging is really a bad thing…