Friday Favorites July 31

Here we are- ready for another of edition of favorites! Play any way you like!!!!

  1. Favorite Food of All Time– Patty Melt
  2. Favorite Chick Flick– Ok- we all know I love “The Sure Thing” but that might be considered coming of age, but how about “Bridget Jones Dairy”? If that’s a rom com, then how about “bridesmaids”?
  3. Favorite cover song? Ok- if I were to have taken this question last Friday, my answer would probably be “Where did our Love Go” by Soft Cell…but this week I discovered a Chris Cornell version of “Patience”. As Patience is one of my top ten songs, and probably favorite love song, and Chris Cornell was brilliant,I nod my cap towards that…
  4. Favorite Fictional place I’d like to visit- Diagon Alley
  5. Favorite Bird-Woodstock
  6. Favorite Winter Sport- sitting in front of a fireplace with a book and a hot beverage
  7. Favorite Christmas Present- My family got me a spa day a few years ago. Clearly the winner
  8. Favorite hairstyle– I’ve had my hair in a bob since I’m about 22-
  9. Favorite Kind of House: Brownstone
  10. Favorite Way to Cook a steak: Medium rare as done by a steakhouse

Do I Stay or Do I Go

In these challenging times, everyone has an opinion about what everyone else is doing.

My sister in law (SIL) went to Florida last month to see both her mother and her mother in law.

The starting point is, was it reckless to go from New Jersey to Florida in the middle of a pandemic because you and your kids are bored?

OK- everyone has there own answers, which are going to be as varied, so we’ll just say that there are a great many opinions on this matter.

By the time they were on their way home from Florida, Florida had become a hot zone. They stopped in Maryland for COVID tests on the drive home, because her 15 year old twins were supposed to go to friends houses the following week and the parents of the children wanted the test.


Then, it turns out, the parents of the friends her kids were supposed to stay with rescinded the invitations because the kids had just been in Florida and driven back up to New Jersey.

My SIL was annoyed at this- why rescind the invitation? They had tests? Her kids were looking forward to a week with friends because they are bored…

Switching topics just slightly…

My SIL calls my Husband. She tells him how bored their Mother is in Florida- how the visit made her feel so much better. She passive aggressively insinuates that my husband is being a bad son by not visiting his mother in Florida amidst the pandemic.

Switching just a little bit again…

My SIL is in the middle of renovating a new house- they are supposed to move in August. She is mad that my Father in Law won’t go from Eastern Long Island to New Jersey because he is afraid to travel amidst the pandemic. She actually blocked his texts and calls over this.

I have decided that my SIL is indeed the sun, and everything thing revolves around her…

Rant over…



Apparently, irregardless is now entering the dictionary.

I hate this word.

I hate when people use this word.

I hate it because it’s not a word.

It contradicts itself.

I once ruled out a candidate who was interviewing to be my assistant because she used this word on the interview.

So why is it now going to appear in dictionaries?

I don’t know…

I was told a few months ago that I focus too much on words…

But words are important to me. There is power in words. The right words can make you fall in love. The wrong ones can destroy your soul.

Who decides what the right words are? Who decides what the wrong ones are?

The term Master Bedroom is on the way out…

How do we feel about irregardless being in, and master bedroom being out?

If we are going to get rid of words/phrases, I’d much rather get rid of “it’s not you, it’s me”…To me, that’s a phrase that’s ridiculous. But maybe I just don’t like things that contradict themselves…

So what words/phrases would you add if you could?

What words/phrases would you get rid of? (remember- this is words/phrases- not concepts. I’d like to get rid of hate, but just like judging and lying- the concepts will always exist)

Do words matter? Do some words matter more than others?

Is it the words themselves, or is it how the sentence is formed?

Give me a few words on words…



No Truths and a Lie

I recently read “Florence Adler Swims Forever” by Rachel Beanland. While this is not a review, there are going to be spoilers, so read with caution. Also, What I’m revealing happens within the first two chapters of the book, so there’s that…


The book is set during the summer in Atlantic City. There are two sisters: one is having a difficult pregnancy after having miscarried previously. She is on bedrest in the hospital. Her younger sister is practicing for a swim across the English Channel.

In the first chapter, the swimming sister dies while practicing.

The family makes the decision not to tell the pregnant sister that her sibling has died.

They go as far as to not have any mourning rituals for the swimmer- no large funeral, no sitting Shiva (the traditional Jewish mourning ritual)

The family tells the hospital staff to keep it quiet, and make sure the pregnant sister gets a private room with no access to newspapers and radio, just in case…


The family made the decision that telling the pregnant sister would be detrimental to her health.

They lie for three months.

Is there such a thing as lying for the greater good?

Given this scenario, what would you do?

Would you lie to someone if you thought they couldn’t physically or mentally handle the truth?

If you were Mother of the girls, would you be worried about your living daughter and worry that you would lose her too?

Can lying be better than telling the truth?

How far do you go to protect your child?


Live Together?

I recently wrote about my Uncle’s decision to wed his long time girlfriend as she reached the end of her battle fair with cancer. I received many different responses to this post, which made me think…

The first thing I realized was that, as always, my friends proved to be an interesting starting point. I’ve reached the age where I have a fair amount of divorced friends (including myself) While I was slightly younger and childless when I divorced, I have noticed an odd pattern of  many of my friends who divorced after they had children…

Though some found new significant others, they often choose to monogamously date someone without moving in together or getting married…


  1. Why choose to date someone yet not make the next step or steps?

Which led me to wonder:

2) Are people in their forties/fifties/sixties more reluctant to give up their independence?


3) Are people who have had contentious divorces less likely to want to walk the aisle again?


4) Are people with adult or older children less likely to want someone to interfere with that relationship?

5) What is the driving force behind an adult couple not cohabitating or marrying?

This of course spring boarded me to my next thought:

6) How often are both halves of a couple in agreement over the not marrying/not cohabitating thing?

This sort of coincided with my post about my Uncle- some thought that my Uncle was driving the no marriage bus…that his girlfriend wanted to get married the whole twenty years…

7)In 2020- do we assume that women still want to make marriage one of their bucket list items?

8)If we see an unmarried couple, do we think it is the man’s refusal to get down on one knee that stops them from saying “I do”?

9)Do we still look at unmarried couples and say “Too bad they didn’t get married. Look at all the great things they missed?”

I know- I know…

It’s Monday morning and I threw out about a thousand questions at you…

Choose one of the above questions, or all, and write me a short answer paragraph…

or choose your own to marry or not to marry example and explain…




Highlights 7/26

Another week has gone by…..

Key lime pie ice….yum….
Staples has a new section
Thought they did a cute job setting up their outdoor cafe…though we chose to eat in the booths inside the planters, which were separated by plexiglass- Laut Singapore
Hainanese Chicken
Mee Hoon Goreng
Some cocktail….it was good
I love how they put cardboard cut outs in the stands…
Cherries have been exceptional this year
New shower head
Reading in a plaza
My view while reading
You being your groceries outside and bag them on the provided tables
Making it hard for me to put things into the box….

Gratitude Saturday July 24

So this week, my shower head broke, as well as my cable TV transmitter…as I was typing this post, my computer froze and took forever to restart…

I could really dwell on these things.

I mean…really dwell. We still haven’t been able to pair the remote to the TV…

But instead I will choose to focus on the following:

I am grateful that when I went to Home Depot to replace the showerhead, they had a really nice one in stock. It gives me a few more jets than the previous one, and showers/baths are one of my favorite ways to relax. I am grateful that our handyman was able to install it that morning.

I am also grateful that the cable company recently opened up a retail location a few blocks from my house. The store was uncharacteristically empty when I got there and I was able to reinstall the box rather quickly.

I am grateful that after 45 minutes  got my computer up and running…


Friday Favorites

In this dystopian universe, I have favorites. I am allowed to like anything I want. People are allowed to play along any way they wish. Some people are going to think this is fun, or my choices are interesting. Others won’t. C’est la vie.

So, on this particular day, here are my favorites! Play along any way you want!!

  1. Favorite sport to play: Tennis
  2. Favorite Age: 56
  3. Favorite occasion to dress up for: I like going out to dinner or the theater or something once a week- I love to dress up for that
  4. Favorite youtube video: Ok- the only time I ever watch youtube is when someone sends me one. or posts something I need to see….and I rarely remember them. But, I will say that it would probably be one with cats
  5. Favorite Italian Dish: Caccio e pep
  6. Favorite Celebrity: OK- not much of an Entertainment Tonight fan, but we will go with George Clooney- but this is strictly on looks- I have found him attractive at every stage of his career
  7.  Favorite 80s Song: OK- this is the best decade for music ever, so choosing one song would be impossible. So…as opposed to saying every song, I will say Bob Seger “Old Time Rock and Roll” because it totally reminds me of my best friends from college
  8. Favorite Vacation: I have loved every single vacation that I’ve ever been one. But if I had to choose a favorite it would be Hawaii
  9. Favorite Animal: I know I say in my About page that I love cats and dogs equally, but truth is, cats have an edge….
  10. Favorite South Park Character: Have never watched show-

Dystopia- Opposites

For the past few days I laid out a world where there is no unemployment, poverty, hunger, or crime. Everyone gets healthcare and education till 25. Every citizen is exposed to all sorts of culture and athletics and hobbies. Everyone has the ability to reach their potential. More profitable businesses take up the slack for the less profitable ones. There are less things being produced so there is less waste things are more  environmentally friendly. There is no envy or jealousy. Competition is reduced to the playing field. Everything is fair and equal.  There is no stress. Personality and looks do not play a role in anything.

Reviews were mixed…

So for today, I want you to think about Dystopia 2.0…

To borrow a line from Grease-

“The rules are, there ain’t no rules…”

In our first version of dystopia, there were rules for everything. Each individual contributed to society equally.

In 2.0, no one has to do anything.


There is no requirement for school.

No one has to work.

There are no laws.

Housing is free. The catch is you must source all the material and build your own abode. (remember, one way to source material is to take it from someone else)

Healthcare is free. Yes, there is a catch. In a world were no one is made to study or go to school, no one actually becomes a Doctor or a Nurse… No one develops drugs for use against disease. Drugs are only created for recreational purposes… There are no hospitals or clinics.

Education is free. If you can find someone to teach you.

Ownership is tenuous-  you may have a bowl and someone may take it away from you…possession is 10/10th…..

There are no stores.

No theaters.

No doors.

Squatters rights are the only rights…

Communication is reduced to about a hundred words…and lots of pointing…no worrying about spell check or grammar…

There is no such thing as crime, because everyone is allowed to do whatever they please…

There are no taxes. You don’t have to pay for anything…

You have complete and utter freedom. You can be anything you want. Choose any path you wish to take. Do anything you want. You can sit and write poetry every day, or play video games. Just get drunk or high. Have sex with multiple partners. Unprotected sex- no one has to wear condoms…

Clothing is optional. Every day is quarantine sweat pants/no bra day. Every day is naked Thursday…

You are completely free of responsibility. You can birth a child and leave it- there is no consequence for abandonment. Parenting is not one of the vocabulary words- because no one really wants to parent because parenting is hard…

There are no consequences at all.

So while version 1.0 was all about rules and similarity, version 2.0 is all about non conformity and freedom.

What do we think of this version?

Dystopia- Daily Life

So for the past few days, we’ve lived in an alternate universe….I’m going to expand more about the rules…

We know so far that people are expected to be part of a couple. No one is allowed to have more than one child. There is no help with fertility- anyone unable to conceive a child will be allowed to adopt a child. Anyone who has a multiple birth and chooses to keep all the children will be taxed at a higher rate.

Birthdays will be held once a year- for example- all children who are born between December 1 2019 and November 30 2020 will turn 1 on January 1, 2021. On December 31 there will be one large birthday celebration for everyone.

Upon finishing an apprenticeship (age 25) all individuals will be given a job in their field. All jobs are for life- they will remain with the company for 50 years until retirement at 75. Employees will be referred to as Year One, Year Two etc. All will get promoted at the same time to the next level. They will receive a 1% raise every year.

All workers, no matter what the job, will receive the exact same salary. The person collecting litter off the street who works eight hours a day will earn the same amount as a neurosurgeon working fifteen hours a day. All jobs are equally important, and should be valued as such. Any job that can be automated will be automated.

At 25 all  people are given a house- couples getting housed first. Each house is 1000 square feet, two bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, living room, kitchen, dining room. Each house has a small terrace in the back. Units are one story only so that anyone with a disability could live anywhere. No additions are allowed to be made. Exterior paint color will be one of five shades. Landscaping must be uniform to the neighborhood. All houses are expected to be maintained properly. Those who don’t comply will be taxed.

There is one outlet to purchase home furnishings, and there are only five styles of couches, chairs, dining sets and beds available. Every household is expected to replenish their belongings every five years.

Clothing options are similar. There are five styles of pants, dresses, shirts and coats. All clothing is unisex. There are no physical stores for clothes. All purchases are made online and are shipped to you. As there are few options, you know exactly what you are getting.

Having been assigned hobbies/extras in third grade, it is expected that you keep up with these things. Any equipment used for these activities must be replaced every five years.

Healthcare is paid for. In exchange, you are expected to exercise five days a week for an hour a day. Each community is equipped with a gym and various things such as tennis courts and ping pong tables. You are expected to be within five pounds of the accepted weight, and if you are not, you will be taxed.

Smoking, drinking and non prescription drug use are highly monitored. Anyone who abuses these privilege’s will be taxed.

There are no cars or motorized vehicles for personal use. There is an effective bus system and everyone has bicycles.

Each community will have a butcher, fishmonger, produce person and bakery. Food will be locally sourced and not travel more than 100 miles to a destination. There are no canned or frozen foods, or anything processed. Sugary snacks are only available on Sundays at the bakery. You are allowed to bake your own things. There are no concessions for dietary restrictions, as in, bread is full of gluten. If you can’t eat something you are meant to abstain.

All healthcare is paid for. If you become seriously ill, a decision is made as to whether or not you will be treated. Much of this will be based on age and how much your particular skill is needed. if you have something that is caused by a lifestyle choice you will not be treated.

Family tax rate is 40% of salary. 10% of salary goes towards your residence. Single tax rate is 80% with 15% goings towards residence. If you are taxed for any other infraction it will be 5%.

All residents are required to carry a phone/monitoring device. Individual locations are tracked at all times, as well as what you were doing and who you were with. Accountability is everything.

All citizens must have DNA and fingerprints on file.

Is there anything to be gained from a society such as this?