One of the most common blog questions I’ve seen recently is “What have you learned over the past few months…”
First off, I REALLY HATE THIS QUESTION.
Second- I have two answers: one answer is not printable in my trying to be PG13 blog, and the other is more of a self revelation.
So here is the self revelation:
I have always fancied myself an arm chair detective. I read who dun it’s and I watch mysteries on TV. We all know that I have a strange fascination with the Hallmark Channel mysteries. I sit and try to figure out who the murderer is before the TV sleuth. I always think, wouldn’t it be nice to live in a small town like Cabot Cove and have murders just handed to me to solve?
Yeah. Good times.
But then over the period which shall remain nameless, I read a book “The Last Guest House” by Megan Miranda. I’m not about to spoil the plot…I’m just mentioning one thing that seems to happen in every mystery…
The protagonist finds evidence and instead of turning it into the police, she keeps it and starts to investigate on her own.
Are you ready?
In real life if I ever found evidence I would immediately bring it to the police.
I once found a wallet on the street. I picked it up and walked to the police station and left it with them. I found a cell phone one time- same thing. Police station. Wash my hands of it. Didn’t open the wallet, didn’t try the cell phone…
I could never be the heroine in a cozy mystery.
I would never try to peer into a window, look for odd footprints, carry a plastic bag in case I found evidence. (though as a dog owner I do seem to be able to pull plastic bags out of thin air) I would bring evidence directly to the police.
I am not cut out to be Jessica Fletcher.
I could never start a real murderer’s club where the goal each month is to solve an unsolved mystery.
I am perfectly content having a cup of tea and solving a page bound mystery from the brown chair in the corner of my living room. (FYI- same chair where I got my psych degree)
I don’t have any interest in solving a real mystery…
For the past 56 years I have fancied myself a younger hipper Jane Marple….and now, to figure out I will never be Jane… (and my younger, hipper days are receding into the background…)
when people ask what I learned from coronagate, the short answer will be:
I’ll never solve a mystery…