We’re heading back to Untamed (Glennon Doyle) again. (Ok- if it’s making me think this much maybe it deserves to be #2 on the NYT Bestseller list…)
In her essay “Comfort Zones”, Doyle speaks of a twelve year old girl on her daughter’s soccer team. She states that the girl rubs her the wrong way, and she notices other Mother’s reactions towards this particular girl, and everyone seems to be ill at ease in this young woman’s presence. When Doyle analyzes this, she realizes that the unease around this girl is based on this girls self possession. This is a confident young woman, who carries herself with the bearing that she is worthy. Doyle, a self proclaimed feminist, realizes that her own uneasiness is due to a lifetime of being told that girls/women are supposed to be “self-doubting, reserved, timid and apologetic.”
“Girls who are bold enough to break the rules irk us.”
When I first read this essay, my knee jerk reaction was “Bullshit.”
But this chapter kept haunting me. I kept thinking about women I know. I came to the realization that Doyle may have a really solid point.
In 2020, do we still have problems with women who break the “rules”?
Do strong, confident, unapologetic women still make us go uh oh?
Are women just as bad as men in downplaying other women?
Are women worse at it?
If you’re a woman, think about how you really feel when you see a strong, confident woman. Straight up- no bs- what is your initial reaction?
Are you at all uneasy?
And let’s get out of the Hilary Clinton/Nancy Pelosi mindset: let’s think about the women that you come across on a daily basis…
Are there women you see in your daily lives whose sheer confidence and ability to command attention just pisses you off?
You don’t have to share here. This is not a game to shame others in print. But I want you to really think about your reactions to other women.
Do you get mad if someone doesn’t care what you think?
Do you delight in taking someone down a peg?
Do you secretly want someone to fail because you just don’t want them to succeed?
Have you ever called a woman a name (in your head) because she irked you?
I don’t mean intellectual debates where we discuss issues and each person defends their argument. Do you get annoyed with women who do defend their point?
Do you get annoyed that a woman has a point?