Love, Marriage, Repeat (Netflix)

The Two Lives of Lydia Bird (Josie Silver)

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle (Stuart Turton)

Oona out of Order (Margarita Montimore)

What do the above have in common? Well, I read or watched them in my living room…and if there are any Cheers fans our there they might get the reference….

What else do they have in common?

They all deal with the thought of having a redo, sort of. What would happen if you tweaked X, what if you turned left instead of right, what would happen if you purchased Apple when it launched…

Why are we obsessed with the idea of making things right? Fixing things so that we don’t have any bad, but only good?

I know that I have made mistakes in my life. I know I have screwed up monumentally. Yet, I would change nothing. Sure, I’d like to forget about the day that I walked down Fifth Avenue with my skirt tucked into my panty hose, but you know, in a world of embarrassing moments it wasn’t that bad.

If I had done anything differently, I would not have my daughter…and I wouldn’t change that for the world…

Of course, there are some bad things that people do not mentally survive. There are life changing events that people might not ever recover from. I might understand someone who got into a horrible accident might want to go back so that they take a different route that day…

But these books and movies don’t focus on these things….they tend to focus on finding love or becoming rich or the perfect job. They tend to fix the mundane…

What’s the maxim: for every action has an equal and opposite reaction… every thing we do matters to what happens next in our lives…I met my husband because I was trying to get a tennis ranking. There were three of us on the court and they called a guy back who had already gotten rated. The four of us on the court all had the same ranking so we set up a doubles game. That guy that wasn’t supposed to be on the court ended up becoming my doubles partner. His two roommates would eventually get married, and he would move to a different city, but I would stay his tennis partner and I went to his city to play, where I would meet his college roommate who I would eventually marry ten years later…

What if we didn’t need a fourth, what if I had a different doubles partner, what if the roommates didn’t get married, what if my partner didn’t move….

Action, reaction, next…

If you really think about it, are there things in your life that you would change?

What is it about Groundhogs Day and the like that fascinates it so?

Is there such a thing as getting life completely right?

Discuss

 

91 thoughts on “Quattro- Redo”

  3. I watched Love, Marriage, Repeat – STUPID movie, but a bit of noise which helped me complete paperwork. The idea of the movie could have been cute… in Rome… doing a Repeat, but it really seemed thrown together. ANYHOW – we are stuck at home.

    I liked Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan series MUCH BETTER on Amazon Prime. Wow, talk about action packed, need another movie recommendation like that. SNOW today! Was hoping we were done…

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    1. Loved Jack Ryan…we done. I know, movie was insipid….but that villa!! How gorgeous was that? My daughter who hates the idea of weddings even looked up the cost of that place…

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      1. Agree, BEAUTIFUL setting! What was the name of the Villa? I think it was in Rome, right? I’m Catholic, been divorced, so can’t marry in a church… HATED the idea of getting married on a beach, but the light bulb went off when I saw this movie — AHA, a VILLA, PERFECT.

        BUT poor Italy! It will be a while before we travel there. Knock on wood, our relatives are doing fine outside of Florence. ❤

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      2. I know. My kid was supposed to study outside of Florence in May/June, and I was going to meet up with her….my kid is in class now, but I’ll get you the name later. I know she said it’s 15m to rent

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      3. Oh… this is SAD indeed! Well, somehow, she has to be able to go on her adventure! Maybe you can surprise her with an Italian dinner, a good Italian movie (not the God Father though), something more uplifting, and a special voucher good for one trip to Florence!! If you have an Euros, add that to the voucher with a cute coin purse specific for Italy. ❤

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      4. 😉well, she got into a special study abroad program which she spent three months applying for, and they rarely take freshman,so it was a whole thing.

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  4. This is why I like our garden: it is eclectic and some seasons we get it right and some we don’t but the thing is it keeps growing, sometimes out of control and sometimes it teaches us lessons. No one every gets it perfect and once I heard that if something looks too perfect, there are some other problems.

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  5. There are definitely things I would go back and change if I could. I try not to think about them too much since I’m not able to time travel, so it’s futile. Going back to buy Apple stock at the beginning is NOT what I’m talking about. The main things I would go back to change would help others, and possibly save lives.

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    1. I don’t know how change would work. Though I find the concept interesting in books and shows, the reality of it baffles me. I know I read another book where one character says to the other…you’re assuming you could change one thing and everything else would be exactly the same….damn, now I have to think about what that was….

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  6. Let’s toss in the idea of free-will versus fate shall we. I know that may cross over into concepts of religious belief, but your question led me to this concept of just how much control we might really have…or not. Just how much can we change and are we really changing aspects of our life or simply following a predestined path under the guise of free will?? Anyone want to jump into that discussion!

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    1. Oooh….I like that! That could be a good follow up tomorrow….fate (in coronabookathon I read a book that totally deals with fate because I think I’ve hit every possible plot,I’ve by now….) nice thought!!

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  9. We watched Love, Marriage, Repeat last night..some pretty hysterical moments. My dog came over to snuggle at one point, I think she thought my laughing was crying..HAHA. The problem with imagining re-dos is that too often we imagine everything would have turned out perfectly if only we had made different decisions. I thought the movie addressed that falsehood pretty well.

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  10. Interesting idea to discuss and your blog is excellent at that. I agree that I think everyone thinks about the fork in the road, the one perhaps they didn’t marry. But then that would change everything and that includes the people you love in the life you have now. No, most of us would keep the lives we have, with the proviso they would made better decisions, and maybe been silent when they spoke in anger, or spoke up when they saw someone in pain.

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  11. I have this feeling that changing anything however small would create a ripple effect of change. And by making that teeny change one’s life could evolve into something completely different.
    While the ‘what if’ game is entertaining, unless you’re in a truly dire situation, how many of us would actually decide to do or be something so different?

    My eldest daughter recently suggested how different our lives would be had I left their father sooner. She hypothesized we three girls would have fared better. She’s not wrong. However, if it went differently than it did, neither of them would have met their closest friends, she wouldn’t have gone to that particular college and met her husband in their math class. There would be no Baby K.
    Now, my daughters may have had different paths, maybe even ‘better’ paths. I know mine would have been different, and possibly better. But we wouldn’t be who and where we are now. Of course, some of that’s good, but not living through what made us us would make us different us(es?) and I’m not sure that’s better or not.

    It all boils down to being who you are. If you like who you are, those past changes are irrelevant. Even if you don’t like who you are, past changes are irrelevant…it’s future changes that will impact that.

    For me, getting lost in the ‘what ifs’ sounds fun on first thought, but after some consideration, less so. ‘What if’ is a double edged sword I’d rather not throw myself on.

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    1. Exactly. It’s fun at first glance, but when you boil it down, would you really want to change stuff? I know I have one giant what if in my life….but to go down that road…..who knows. And to do the what if means that you’re totally in control of a situation….even I’m not that much of a control freak….

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      1. Girl, same!
        It’s a fun mental (and emotional) concept, but reality is different. And if everything I’ve lived through has put me in this reality, I feel like I should trust that.
        Thanks for provoking thought! ❤

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  12. I’m much like you in that I wouldn’t change a single moment because that means I wouldn’t be me and I wouldn’t have the life I have now. It is far from perfect and there have been a lot of ugly, nasty, painful bumps along the way, but I still would do it all over again to be where I am now. I do understand how some people have gone through truly horrific experiences wouldn’t feel that way, but I struggle to understand the wish to change the little things.

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  13. There is one thing in my life I could have changed at various times and conventional wisdom says I should have; but if I had, my world and “the” world would have been so much less. God promises to bring good out of what others intended for bad, and I have seen that first hand.

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  16. There does seem to be a rash of books on this subject around atm. I found the Fifteen Lives of Harry August a good example of the genre, but have heard Evelyn Hardcastle proved disappointing after a good set-up & concept.

    Stephen King’s book 11/22/63 about time travel & the JFK assassination is the perfect example of the idea that when you change one thing, other changes inevitably follow. It’s a good (if long) read.

    There are things I’ve regretted saying/doing or not saying/doing, but they’re now in the paths not followed behind me. I regret them, but I’d not be the me I am now, so I don’t believe I’d go back and change them. My daughter being here is the result of the type of decision most would consider a mistake to be corrected, while I look upon it as a blessing (and I don’t usually use that type of language). Even going through breast cancer isn’t something I’d undo for it taught me a great deal about me and about other people.

    Looking forward to seeing where you go with this LA 🙂

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    1. Evelyn Hardcastle was a great premise, and then it got a bit convoluted….I wasn’t actually sure if the author was trying to get a point across in the story. Deb mentioned fate, so I think that’s tomorrow….

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  17. Well, you certainly opened up a deep topic of conversation. 🙂 I, personally, don’t believe in coincidence. Nothing happens by chance. I suppose it’s my faith and worldview that everything happens for a reason. Would I go back and smooth out those bumpy parts of my life journey. I would want to….but looking back, those times defined my character and taught me valuable lessons about life and myself. Do I have regrets. Of course. But I would not be the person I am today without those experiences and decisions. I believe there is a reason I’m where I am today and the person I am today. I just need to continue to figure out what that reason is! xoxo

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  18. I’m too pragmatic to want to change a thing in my life. I wouldn’t be who I am now and I like who I am now because of all the crap I’ve been through. Ever onward, says I. Leave the past in the dust behind you.

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  20. I often think that there are things in my life I would change if I could, but my ideas on just what those are change daily. Probably best I don’t have that capability:) I doubt there is such a thing as getting life exactly right. There is always something “wrong” or an aspect that could be better!

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  21. I wouldn’t change a thing, because to do so might disrupt the cosmic balance and I do not wish to compromise the gifts I have been given. There is a ripple in every turn we take, right and wrong.

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      3. I do the “What If” with certain tragic events. Like when John Jr’s plane went down. I cried like a baby at the idea that something and someone special was stolen from us. Later I wrote about how I truly believe he would have run for office. The What If, it still saddens me.

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      6. Because it’s not a personal thing. It’s universal. How would humanity be different if not for big events. Not like, what would my life me like if married joe instead of steve….

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  24. I actually almost did buy Apple when it launched.😥 My dad had a bad experience in the stock market and discouraged me; without his help, I didn’t have a clue how to buy stock then.

    As for the premise: rarely, but sometimes I wonder what if, but realize it would obliterate the life I’ve lived and it hasn’t been perfect by any means, but plenty of good and great times. I’m striving to live in the present to the best of my ability.

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  26. I have thought about regrets and if I would change anything and concluded I wouldn’t change a thing. Whether good or bad, each decision has made me who I am today. It’s also affected the lives of others. For instance, my sister met her future husband at my first wedding. So if I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have the three nieces I do nor the great brother in law I’ve had for almost 39 years. I do hope I’ve learned from all my experiences and choices.

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    1. I totally get that and I’m the same way. If I hadn’t been married before I never would have met the guy who introduced me to my present husband. But yet, there are so many people who want a redo….

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  29. Love this post! And I completely hear you! I wouldn’t want to change anything- even the mistakes or any of the bad stuff- cos any slight shift could (potentially) change something good (and there are things I’m so grateful for and wouldn’t change for anything! and so often those things come about by chance!) So yeah, I don’t think there’s such a thing as getting everything right and that’s ok.

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