Love, Marriage, Repeat (Netflix)
The Two Lives of Lydia Bird (Josie Silver)
The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle (Stuart Turton)
Oona out of Order (Margarita Montimore)
What do the above have in common? Well, I read or watched them in my living room…and if there are any Cheers fans our there they might get the reference….
What else do they have in common?
They all deal with the thought of having a redo, sort of. What would happen if you tweaked X, what if you turned left instead of right, what would happen if you purchased Apple when it launched…
Why are we obsessed with the idea of making things right? Fixing things so that we don’t have any bad, but only good?
I know that I have made mistakes in my life. I know I have screwed up monumentally. Yet, I would change nothing. Sure, I’d like to forget about the day that I walked down Fifth Avenue with my skirt tucked into my panty hose, but you know, in a world of embarrassing moments it wasn’t that bad.
If I had done anything differently, I would not have my daughter…and I wouldn’t change that for the world…
Of course, there are some bad things that people do not mentally survive. There are life changing events that people might not ever recover from. I might understand someone who got into a horrible accident might want to go back so that they take a different route that day…
But these books and movies don’t focus on these things….they tend to focus on finding love or becoming rich or the perfect job. They tend to fix the mundane…
What’s the maxim: for every action has an equal and opposite reaction… every thing we do matters to what happens next in our lives…I met my husband because I was trying to get a tennis ranking. There were three of us on the court and they called a guy back who had already gotten rated. The four of us on the court all had the same ranking so we set up a doubles game. That guy that wasn’t supposed to be on the court ended up becoming my doubles partner. His two roommates would eventually get married, and he would move to a different city, but I would stay his tennis partner and I went to his city to play, where I would meet his college roommate who I would eventually marry ten years later…
What if we didn’t need a fourth, what if I had a different doubles partner, what if the roommates didn’t get married, what if my partner didn’t move….
Action, reaction, next…
If you really think about it, are there things in your life that you would change?
What is it about Groundhogs Day and the like that fascinates it so?
Is there such a thing as getting life completely right?
Discuss
absolutely there are things I would change but I don’t think you could ever get it completely right……..hope you are doing ok through all of this strangeness……….
LikeLiked by 2 people
🤪
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s a few things in my past I would change, but I don’t fret about them. I doubt anyone could say they’re life is completely right.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Agreed. But that’s part of the journey…we learn from our mistakes
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly, or at least I hope we do. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I watched Love, Marriage, Repeat – STUPID movie, but a bit of noise which helped me complete paperwork. The idea of the movie could have been cute… in Rome… doing a Repeat, but it really seemed thrown together. ANYHOW – we are stuck at home.
I liked Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan series MUCH BETTER on Amazon Prime. Wow, talk about action packed, need another movie recommendation like that. SNOW today! Was hoping we were done…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Loved Jack Ryan…we done. I know, movie was insipid….but that villa!! How gorgeous was that? My daughter who hates the idea of weddings even looked up the cost of that place…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree, BEAUTIFUL setting! What was the name of the Villa? I think it was in Rome, right? I’m Catholic, been divorced, so can’t marry in a church… HATED the idea of getting married on a beach, but the light bulb went off when I saw this movie — AHA, a VILLA, PERFECT.
BUT poor Italy! It will be a while before we travel there. Knock on wood, our relatives are doing fine outside of Florence. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know. My kid was supposed to study outside of Florence in May/June, and I was going to meet up with her….my kid is in class now, but I’ll get you the name later. I know she said it’s 15m to rent
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh… this is SAD indeed! Well, somehow, she has to be able to go on her adventure! Maybe you can surprise her with an Italian dinner, a good Italian movie (not the God Father though), something more uplifting, and a special voucher good for one trip to Florence!! If you have an Euros, add that to the voucher with a cute coin purse specific for Italy. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉well, she got into a special study abroad program which she spent three months applying for, and they rarely take freshman,so it was a whole thing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Proud of her!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
💗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Villa Parisi
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok — thanks, I am going to look it up, while I listen to Dean Martin signing Italian songs. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds perfect
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is why I like our garden: it is eclectic and some seasons we get it right and some we don’t but the thing is it keeps growing, sometimes out of control and sometimes it teaches us lessons. No one every gets it perfect and once I heard that if something looks too perfect, there are some other problems.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s a whole blog in itself
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are right about that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLike
There are definitely things I would go back and change if I could. I try not to think about them too much since I’m not able to time travel, so it’s futile. Going back to buy Apple stock at the beginning is NOT what I’m talking about. The main things I would go back to change would help others, and possibly save lives.
LikeLike
I don’t know how change would work. Though I find the concept interesting in books and shows, the reality of it baffles me. I know I read another book where one character says to the other…you’re assuming you could change one thing and everything else would be exactly the same….damn, now I have to think about what that was….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know there’s the butterfly effect of change, but I’m willing to take that chance.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Let’s toss in the idea of free-will versus fate shall we. I know that may cross over into concepts of religious belief, but your question led me to this concept of just how much control we might really have…or not. Just how much can we change and are we really changing aspects of our life or simply following a predestined path under the guise of free will?? Anyone want to jump into that discussion!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooh….I like that! That could be a good follow up tomorrow….fate (in coronabookathon I read a book that totally deals with fate because I think I’ve hit every possible plot,I’ve by now….) nice thought!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As John Lennon is quoted as saying, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” 😊
LikeLiked by 4 people
There you go….we forget that….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting topic. I’m pretty sure we all have things we’d like to change, but then realize if they had worked out, our life would be completely different. I think this wisdom comes with age.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes…..
LikeLike
We watched Love, Marriage, Repeat last night..some pretty hysterical moments. My dog came over to snuggle at one point, I think she thought my laughing was crying..HAHA. The problem with imagining re-dos is that too often we imagine everything would have turned out perfectly if only we had made different decisions. I thought the movie addressed that falsehood pretty well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly. People just think they’d change one thing….without realizing the consequences
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting idea to discuss and your blog is excellent at that. I agree that I think everyone thinks about the fork in the road, the one perhaps they didn’t marry. But then that would change everything and that includes the people you love in the life you have now. No, most of us would keep the lives we have, with the proviso they would made better decisions, and maybe been silent when they spoke in anger, or spoke up when they saw someone in pain.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes…there are definitely words I’d like to take back…..
LikeLike
I have this feeling that changing anything however small would create a ripple effect of change. And by making that teeny change one’s life could evolve into something completely different.
While the ‘what if’ game is entertaining, unless you’re in a truly dire situation, how many of us would actually decide to do or be something so different?
My eldest daughter recently suggested how different our lives would be had I left their father sooner. She hypothesized we three girls would have fared better. She’s not wrong. However, if it went differently than it did, neither of them would have met their closest friends, she wouldn’t have gone to that particular college and met her husband in their math class. There would be no Baby K.
Now, my daughters may have had different paths, maybe even ‘better’ paths. I know mine would have been different, and possibly better. But we wouldn’t be who and where we are now. Of course, some of that’s good, but not living through what made us us would make us different us(es?) and I’m not sure that’s better or not.
It all boils down to being who you are. If you like who you are, those past changes are irrelevant. Even if you don’t like who you are, past changes are irrelevant…it’s future changes that will impact that.
For me, getting lost in the ‘what ifs’ sounds fun on first thought, but after some consideration, less so. ‘What if’ is a double edged sword I’d rather not throw myself on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly. It’s fun at first glance, but when you boil it down, would you really want to change stuff? I know I have one giant what if in my life….but to go down that road…..who knows. And to do the what if means that you’re totally in control of a situation….even I’m not that much of a control freak….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Girl, same!
It’s a fun mental (and emotional) concept, but reality is different. And if everything I’ve lived through has put me in this reality, I feel like I should trust that.
Thanks for provoking thought! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I’ve got to do something other than strangling my housemates….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m trying to decide if I need to worry you’ve switched from locking them in the closet to strangling… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You should be very afraid……bwaa haaa haaaa
LikeLiked by 1 person
Legit giggling at you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m much like you in that I wouldn’t change a single moment because that means I wouldn’t be me and I wouldn’t have the life I have now. It is far from perfect and there have been a lot of ugly, nasty, painful bumps along the way, but I still would do it all over again to be where I am now. I do understand how some people have gone through truly horrific experiences wouldn’t feel that way, but I struggle to understand the wish to change the little things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed. While I admit little things matter, in the grand scheme of things, is it worth it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is one thing in my life I could have changed at various times and conventional wisdom says I should have; but if I had, my world and “the” world would have been so much less. God promises to bring good out of what others intended for bad, and I have seen that first hand.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think we learn to make the best of everything….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those of us who write fiction use our ‘alternative’ lives as grist for the mill when we’re writing. As far as I’m concerned, they help me see that I wouldn’t change the life I’ve had and have.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good point
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mostly it is stupid regretful things said or done that I want back. Big things that have happened brought me to where I am and I do not have a problem with those.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know…that hurtful comment you can’t put back in the box
LikeLiked by 1 person
There does seem to be a rash of books on this subject around atm. I found the Fifteen Lives of Harry August a good example of the genre, but have heard Evelyn Hardcastle proved disappointing after a good set-up & concept.
Stephen King’s book 11/22/63 about time travel & the JFK assassination is the perfect example of the idea that when you change one thing, other changes inevitably follow. It’s a good (if long) read.
There are things I’ve regretted saying/doing or not saying/doing, but they’re now in the paths not followed behind me. I regret them, but I’d not be the me I am now, so I don’t believe I’d go back and change them. My daughter being here is the result of the type of decision most would consider a mistake to be corrected, while I look upon it as a blessing (and I don’t usually use that type of language). Even going through breast cancer isn’t something I’d undo for it taught me a great deal about me and about other people.
Looking forward to seeing where you go with this LA 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Evelyn Hardcastle was a great premise, and then it got a bit convoluted….I wasn’t actually sure if the author was trying to get a point across in the story. Deb mentioned fate, so I think that’s tomorrow….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, you certainly opened up a deep topic of conversation. 🙂 I, personally, don’t believe in coincidence. Nothing happens by chance. I suppose it’s my faith and worldview that everything happens for a reason. Would I go back and smooth out those bumpy parts of my life journey. I would want to….but looking back, those times defined my character and taught me valuable lessons about life and myself. Do I have regrets. Of course. But I would not be the person I am today without those experiences and decisions. I believe there is a reason I’m where I am today and the person I am today. I just need to continue to figure out what that reason is! xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I think. Everything happens to make us who we are. We’re always a work in progress
LikeLike
I’m too pragmatic to want to change a thing in my life. I wouldn’t be who I am now and I like who I am now because of all the crap I’ve been through. Ever onward, says I. Leave the past in the dust behind you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m the same. Maybe a fashion choice or the unfortunate Dorothy hamill haircut , but otherwise, yeah. I’m ok
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband says the same thing! you can’t change a bad thing in your past without it changing something good. So take the good with the bad. I’m trying to adopt this attitude!
LikeLiked by 2 people
💗
LikeLiked by 1 person
I often think that there are things in my life I would change if I could, but my ideas on just what those are change daily. Probably best I don’t have that capability:) I doubt there is such a thing as getting life exactly right. There is always something “wrong” or an aspect that could be better!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I think as well. If you change a, then b might go wrong….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wouldn’t change a thing, because to do so might disrupt the cosmic balance and I do not wish to compromise the gifts I have been given. There is a ripple in every turn we take, right and wrong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. Yet I wonder why it’s such a prevalent theme in literature and movies
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think there is a romance to the whole “What If” scenario? Or can be anyway. But I ain’t buying, not in real time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a good point, the romantic notion of it. I hadn’t thought if it like that
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do the “What If” with certain tragic events. Like when John Jr’s plane went down. I cried like a baby at the idea that something and someone special was stolen from us. Later I wrote about how I truly believe he would have run for office. The What If, it still saddens me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah…I get that. Like what if Hitlers mother never met his father….in the historical context it means a lot
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it does
LikeLiked by 1 person
Because it’s not a personal thing. It’s universal. How would humanity be different if not for big events. Not like, what would my life me like if married joe instead of steve….
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s hard for people to conceptualize it that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I might toss some ideas out about this tomorrow. I’m thinking…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 Well I don’t mind admitting… I’d have love been there to witness ‘the’ skirt tucked into your pantyhose.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s no such thing as a perfect life that’s for sure. I’ve made mistakes, big ones. But I guess the good news is that I’m still trying to be a better person and put these things right. Lovely post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! That’s my thing…learn from the past….move on
LikeLiked by 1 person
I actually almost did buy Apple when it launched.😥 My dad had a bad experience in the stock market and discouraged me; without his help, I didn’t have a clue how to buy stock then.
As for the premise: rarely, but sometimes I wonder what if, but realize it would obliterate the life I’ve lived and it hasn’t been perfect by any means, but plenty of good and great times. I’m striving to live in the present to the best of my ability.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that’s the way to go. I don’t think you can live in the past?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some people try!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know…….😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
People in my faith do this hindsight practice, showing how God was in the details. Admittedly, I do so as well. But, I also think about the accidents and cancers and such. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s the main theme in a lot of works. I understand the appeal, but the reality not so much
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have thought about regrets and if I would change anything and concluded I wouldn’t change a thing. Whether good or bad, each decision has made me who I am today. It’s also affected the lives of others. For instance, my sister met her future husband at my first wedding. So if I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have the three nieces I do nor the great brother in law I’ve had for almost 39 years. I do hope I’ve learned from all my experiences and choices.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally get that and I’m the same way. If I hadn’t been married before I never would have met the guy who introduced me to my present husband. But yet, there are so many people who want a redo….
LikeLiked by 1 person
In other words, everything in our lives has a reason for being there or for happening. It all effects what happens next.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think of it like that. Yet, there are so many books written about changing the past. I wonder what drives it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t believe anyone can change the past. We can only pay attention to the present.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would certainly change some things. 😊
LikeLike
Love this post! And I completely hear you! I wouldn’t want to change anything- even the mistakes or any of the bad stuff- cos any slight shift could (potentially) change something good (and there are things I’m so grateful for and wouldn’t change for anything! and so often those things come about by chance!) So yeah, I don’t think there’s such a thing as getting everything right and that’s ok.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m fine with my imperfections!
LikeLike