No one is aware of the crisis going on than me. While I am not obsessively watching the news, I do check in for updates occasionally.

Presently, my city is considered the epicenter of the virus. My Governor states that conservative estimates place the chance of a New Yorker at getting the virus at 50%.

50%

Half of my state.

Half of my city.

Half of my daughters classmates from school.

Half of my Husband’s colleagues.

Half of the people I know from tea society, book club and the gym.

Half of my closest friends

250 people in my building

8 people from my floor

1.5 people in my apartment

These are the numbers and statistics I see. Based on conservative estimates, and by conservatives I do not mean via statistics given on Fox News, I mean stats based on what is happening now.

I am choosing not to blame or finger point. I am choosing not to look at what was done yesterday, or last week or last month. Mentally, I can not afford to say “Well- we should have done X last week.”

What does finger pointing do to help anyone facing the crisis now?

What does blaming someone for yesterday do to help us today?

When I see someone asked a question of what can be done, the answer that “this should have been done two weeks ago” is a bogus answer. The person saying that has absolutely no idea what to actually do. They have no ideas. They can only naysay…That’s a loser answer because it’s really not answering the question of what can be done NOW.

A year from now we can rehash this. We can come up with a new gameplan…but for now..it’s onward ho.

Let’s put it this way- our city and state government asked last week for social distancing. They asked nicely.  Yet, when our governor toured the city parks the other day, he saw anything but social distancing.  If different choices had been made, would people have complied? Or it personal freedom still the most important thing?

Yesterday I lost a reader who I really respected. I appreciated his no nonsense approach and out of the box thinking, but he doesn’t see my point of view. This is fair- we all have the freedom to decide what to do and what to read…

So here’s the thing: if you want to blame anyone, from the president to the Chinese to my governor to people not self distancing, this is probably not the blog that you want to read. No worries. I get it.

But if you are willing to consider what we might want to do today, or tomorrow, then stick around. If you want to hear how three people, a dog and a cat are surviving in 700 square feet, stick around. If you want to see the peaks and valleys of my moods- the small moments of joy, and the days I break down. Stick around. If you want to here how I made last night’s dinner a little different- I’m here. If you want to get tips on how to be quiet when your daughter is live in a class in one room while your husband is on a conference call in the other, I’m here.

But if you want to complain and should, coulda, woulda….I’m probably not your best outlet.

I understand the implications of this virus. The virus is my enemy. But for my mental health…I’m making lemonade. It’s my best choice.

95 thoughts on “Six (sorry – same word in French)”

  1. Good points. Now is not the time to finger point it is the time for action from everyone. Easy, straightforward recommendations to understand. Stay at home. But people don’t listen. I can only control my own actions I can advise other people what to do on their actions but I can’t control what they do. I don’t know the answers other than EDUCATION!!!

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      1. It is!! Or those bucking the system. I know an older lady in her 89’s that lives here in Iowa near the border but is driving to Wisconsin so she can get a dental cleaning Because her appointment was canceled since Iowa has closed all the dental offices!!! Not judging but just wondering how many others are doing this?

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      2. My mother in law faced timed my husband last week from the beauty salon in Florida. He said why are you there? She said, well, they’ll be closed tomorrow…it wasn’t even a cut…she’s one of those women who has her hair “done”…. I mean really…like you said…it’s their choice, but really…my mil is not in the greatest health and the age….and her boyfriend is ten years older….so yeah…there’s a big difference between grabbing milk and getting your hair done…

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      4. I know! I wonder why? I told my older neighbor that I would run errands for her and said no, and I saw a women in the market last week, older and in a scooter thing (I’m not sure what they’re called) trying to push a cart and she got offended when I asked if she needed help. Maybe they want to feel self reliant?

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      5. Same stuff here! Maybe it is a way to be in control? It’s crazy. Steve’s mom keeps falling because she won’t use a walker outside the house as they are for old people. She is 91🤔. Self reliance may be it!!!

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      7. Weighing in on older people. As I age, I understand more what my mother went through as she aged. She valued her independence. She wanted to be able to do things on her own. She wanted to make choices for herself, even as those opportunities to decide on things like what to eat, what possessions to have around her, and where to live diminished. I won’t discourage anyone from offering help; you should. But don’t be offended when an elderly person expresses offense. They might not want to be seen as “less than.”

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  2. I am with you. All I am worried about is what I need to do to help end this virus nightmare as soon as possible. And that may change as more is learned, realized, discovered. Common sense in uncommon times is my mantra. Get with it people!

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  5. I’m the same. A few followers don’t see or want to see from the perspective I share. Fine by me. Don’t read me then.

    If you comment abuse you will be blocked.

    But since we don’t blog for stats, you and me and many others, but rather from a slice-of-life point of view, it doesn’t matter what the deny-ers think.

    Keep blogging. Don’t apologize. Block those who abuse your invitation to share perspectives.

    And stay safe. I will do the same.

    💗😷

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  7. You have to make the best of it. You cant play the blame game. You have to keep.moving forward. Keep praying. Keep saying positive affirmations. Believe we can get past this. Be positive. Seeing the good. Blaming someone for what they did or didnt do isnt positve. If everyone just did their part and stayed home and followed the rules we would be in a better place. But we are not. All we can do is our part. Praying for you guys and NYC. ❤😊

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  8. Ahead of the curve, our city shut down before the California gov. shut down the entire state. Some people ignored the social distancing rule on beaches, volleyball courts, basketball courts, dog parks, etc., so as of Sunday night, all those were shut down, too.

    Nonetheless, people were playing basketball on the court in the park down our block yesterday. Hard to imagine what planet they’ve been on, or where their sense of invincibility comes from. And while they might be hale, maybe a neighbor has asthma or is going through chemo, and they could unwittingly carry the infection to someone vulnerable.

    But just as it’s important focus on what we can do now rather than what could/should have been done to prevent this crisis, let’s remember that there are more people who are behaving well, offering to help neighbors, staying in touch, abiding by the rules, than there are imbeciles who flout the expert advice to stay home.

    Keep well, everyone!

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    1. Cheers to everyone acting rationally in a socially responsible way, and who doesn’t think that their personal liberty is greater than anyone elses

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  11. Cheers, with the lemonade! I’m not sure where people lost the common sense that we can have different views but still get along and like each other. There may be some blame to go around with the virus situation, but as you note, that doesn’t change what we need to do today. We should look for ways to help each other. I’m not in a big city, yet nine cases have been confirmed in this tiny rural community. It is everywhere. I may not be in a position to do a lot hands on, but I can keep myself from spreading anything, and I donated to our food bank. I didn’t panic buy and I’m not hording. On one site, I quit posting updates on the virus and starting posting flowers again – a much better mood lifter. I hope you and yours will be safe in these scary times.

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  13. I agree LA now is not the time for pointing blame, finger pointing is unhelpful and as for YouTube influencers they should be ashamed of themselves. Keeping blogging the way you enjoy, I’ll write coroner blogs but also other topics as well……….. one observation, some elderly in UK are acting irresponsibly but there you are.

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  15. Good points. I’d be happy to have some lemonade with you. We are fighting a virus that we cannot see. A virus that has people test positive that do not have severe symptoms. How can we place blame?

    Leaders around the world have a tough job, they are not God, they are human and doing the best they can in a terrible situation. ❤ Be well, stay safe.

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  17. I’m trying to avoid the over-hyped news coverage as fear mongering isn’t helpful – all I need is the relevant facts. I did watch our Prime Minister announcing our lockdown last night, but generally avoid even those daily announcements. I am trying hard to avoid the “what we could/should have done” type of conversation, although my mother’s constant eulogising about our Prime Minister and calling him “poor Boris” did catch me out a couple of times today 😀 I know she can’t help herself – he’s a big dishevelled bloke with a degree of charm, so right up her street.

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  18. That’s the spirit.

    There is way too much nonsense being peddled out there, and I admit to having uttered my share of “well, if everyone had stayed inside . . .” thoughts. But you’re right, human beings will behave like human beings. It’s not a crime to want to continue to live your life. And let’s face it, this crisis . . it’s unique.

    I’m going to meditate later.

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      1. LOL.

        The most daunting part is the beginning. Because I think we all bring a different idea about what meditation is supposed to look and feel like. But really, just taking the time to be still and to breathe and to concentrate your energies on that . . . you’re doing it! With time comes the rest, and it is so worth it.

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  20. I like your approach of not looking back when involved in a present crisis.

    Wow! 700 square feet! I could easily live in that space, but it would be a tight fit for the other five people and a dog who are living in our house today.

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  22. So many comments! You have your hands full 🙂 While I agree that finger pointing is not helpful, right now it’s understandable. Also I think the virus predicted by medical experts was one 6X as deadly, and this situation hopefully we will gain wisdom from. Shame on us if we and our leadership fail to. The anticipated mortality I have heard was 165 million from the anticipated virus.
    I also disagree with the opinion that people are people shrug, I wouldn’t accept that if people were endangering my family, or violating my home. I believe that most people are reasonable, and when a higher and better response is requested, most people respond. Of course not 100%, but if it wasn’t so every seatbelt law, and controlled intersection would be merely a suggestion.

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    1. Unfortunately people will do whatever they want. I see it in my city. My sister lives in Seattle and they had to shut them down to keep them from congregating…people don’t use common sense

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  24. Kudos for your attitude, especially the close quarters – one thing we Americans really tend to value is personal space. I’m glad I live in a very rural area and can get outside every day as much as I want. The first positive test in Durango has been reported – it’s here!😮

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  26. I will probably disagree with some thing you say/write but I won’t stop reading. If I stopped talking to all the people I disagreed with I wouldn’t talk to anyone 😉 and as my old granddad used to say If we were all the same and held the same beliefs life would be so boring.

    Stay well, keep safe

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  27. Like your approach. Less of the finger-pointing and more of the let’s get on with it. My youngest (21-college student who lives with us) tested positive for Covid19 last week. He caught the virus before colleges closed, ether at class or on the daily train journey. Our household is in quarantine. He is in his room, totally isolated, even though he has fully recovered, thankfully. He is young and fit and was sick for about five days. At this stage, my husband and I appear to have escaped catching it. Quarantine ends on Saturday but we will stay isolated as much as possible. We are taking it one day at a time. No what if’s or we should have done this or that. That is a pointless exercise.

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    1. First off. Sending you all the thoughts, love and prayers (if that’s your thing) that I can. So happy he is on the mend, but your journey of self quarantine is still ongoing. Thank you for sharing your story, and let’s just get on with it!💗💗

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  28. We had our first death in Iowa yesterday. We are learning from what’s happening in your state. But many think we aren’t restricting people enough. I fear that might be true. We are severely limiting what we do but based on something I read yesterday, others are not. I don’t understand people that still aren’t convinced this is real. And it’s bad. Glad you’re safe. Stay there.

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    1. Thank you! And seriously, many people in this state aren’t heeding the warnings. There are people acting like it’s just another day….so….yeah….

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  29. We all get to decide how to react to this pandemic, emotionally and mentally, but there are always others who want to insist that we react as they do. I agree about finger pointing being useless, what’s done is done, and can’t be changed. As I look at how this is spreading throughout most countries, who are approaching it differently, I even wonder if doing something different would have made a difference at all. None of us know. We just don’t like to admit that.
    For me, it helps to do the math: look up the total population of China, then look up how many people in China were reported to have the virus. Do the same for other countries, including, but not limited to Italy. That might help give an accurate picture, but I don’t know. It’s just a suggestion.

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    1. That’s my thought. No one in the world is handling this well. No one. I said to someone, if the airports all closed on January 1, and anyone who’d been in an airport or China was quarantined for three weeks, what would the world outcry have been? Because honestly, that’s the only thing that would have stopped this. And anyone who says today that that would have been ok is liar, liar, pants on fire, because people still aren’t listening today!!

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  30. The blame game never helps except after the fact when we can take a step back and figure out what to do better.
    My son did his entire Master’s program on line and he would come to my house to do it because the internet was better. I started taking my headphones and listening to books on tape, then I wasn’t able to hear conversations which made me curious as to what was going on it helped, I wasn’t making any distracting noise and I was being entertained. If the public library has the app hoopla sign up with your library card. You get 4 titles a month.

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  31. What I’m having a hard time accepting are the people who talk in circles about the COVID-19 because they refuse to admit that they don’t know what to do. Why can’t they just admit they don’t know? I don’t have any respect for those people.

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    1. Great point. Which is why I have limited my news to the very succinct news letters I get in the morning and the evening. No one knows what to do. No one. So I just need to try to stay sane today, and prep for tomorrow

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  32. Making lemonade is the best choice in my humble opinion. We can armchair quarterback ad nauseam but it doesn’t make any difference in the present moment. It is what it is and we just have to keep moving forward and following the rules set in place for everyone’s safety. I’m sorry you lost a reader. But I’m still here. 🙂 Stay healthy.

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  33. People may not agree with how things are or have been handled (and I will definitely continue to be upset when I see those in charge standing around and doing nothing because they expect someone else to step in and make the hard decisions because they don’t want to be responsible for the fallout if they make the unpopular one), but agree or not, it is everyone’s responsibility to follow whatever rules society has put in place. That is how society works (or is supposed to) so that we don’t devolve into mass chaos. As a rule, people don’t deal with massive changes and things that are so new and different they haven’t had time to adjust. Everything that is going on right now is a very extreme example of how not well we humans deal with new and different.

    For me, I’m doing my part by staying home, and have been for a while now. The only member of our family that leaves the house is Hubby and that is only to go to the grocery store when needed. I fall into a grey area of being at risk, so I am taking zero chances. I also don’t want to be the cause of someone like my cousin, who is very much in the high risk zone, to get sick and die. That isn’t something I want to carry on my conscience.

    Every time I see a new story out of New York I think about you and how you and your family may be forced to deal with it. Stay safe and healthy and sane!

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