Here’s a quick view of my Instagram:

wp-15838423378828355151611375234765.jpg

Is there anything particularly fetching about this page?

Is my avatar dressed too provocatively?

Are the pictures I post too racy?

Are my flowers R rated?

Does this in any way, shape or form make it look like I want a date?

Or do I look stupid enough to fall for someone out to catfish?

Yesterday- I received this:

One guy messaged me without me even accepting his follow or liking his picture. (because I’ve learned that some guys assume you want to talk to them if you ‘like’ their snap)

The other guy clearly thinks that I must be a candidate to be his soulmate…

So…

Let’s assume for a second that these guys are legit.

Why would I want to date someone who is too cheap to use an actual dating site?

On what basis are these men deciding that I am worth chatting up?

Now, let’s assume that these guys aren’t legit…

What makes me look like easy prey?

But then we go back to other thoughts: Do couples legit meet on insta, assuming they have no real life connections?

I know my daughter has been out and recognized people from Instagram because somewhere along the line of six degrees of separation, every New York city teenager probably knows someone through someone…

But, have virtual strangers become IRL lovers?

Are my thoughts that insta is only a site to share pictures really one dimensional? Is insta the online equivalent of a bar or coffee shop?

Is this how people in the future will meet one another?

But as for my apparent online fan club, I’ve had so many male followers the past few days that I actually wonder if one of my friends is playing a very elaborate joke on me- because really, I’ve gotten at least five follow requests of men who only post pics of themselves (not nudes, just typical pictures that one would associate with a dating site) For now, I find it a little bit humorous, and makes a pretty interesting story.

But, as always, it makes me think and wonder and pause and reflect and question…

FYI- I need to update the avatar- I ditched the bangs….

80 thoughts on “Instadate”

  2. From what I’ve seen on social media, both men and women, at least some of them,believe all sites are dating sites. I picked up an internet stalker on LinkedIn. In fact, I was propositioned by a prostitute on LinkedIn – although I suppose one could argue that is a “business” site. Conversations of all types have spun up from this cyber world. And when I was on the dating sites, I’d have to say that most I encountered were scammers of one variety or another. BTW, your pics are fine, and those may have been bots phishing 🙂

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    1. I’d agree the bots except for my exchange a few weeks ago ….where the guy actually questioned why I like his pic but didn’t want to chat!! And yeah…someone else said they got chatted up on LinkedIn! Though I wonder if that’s someone who is married and their spouse would never think to check their linked in activity….

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      1. That must have been a real person with the chat. Why? I don’t know, but the internet seems to have dropped many social boundaries with the anonymity it provides. Interesting thought on LinkedIn – maybe so. I also met a woman on there who wanted to date, but I think she was coming from the perspective of looking at resumes – looking for a good provider, The stalker started following me on other platforms and then started talking about “our relationship.” It was getting spooky and I had to block that one

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      2. Ohhh…yes…on LinkedIn you can get an idea on what a persons net worth is….I never thought about it because I don’t use LinkedIn…but my daughter will be starting this year so it’s good to think of these things beforehand. While you need it in this employment climate, it also opens up things….and yeah…I like the married angle the more that I think about it

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  4. Maybe this is the reason I’m not on Instagram. Sorry you’re going through this…it’s really bizarre and I haven’t heard of anyone else having men act that way on Instagram. Well, maybe now I should get one? LOL – NOPE 🙂

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    1. I’m sure I’m not the only one…and I do think it’s fun to share these tidbits with everyone! I especially loved the guy looking for his soul mate……😆

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  8. I’ve gotten a couple of those too. At first I was flattered that someone actually found me, and then I thought that maybe it was someone that I’d seen through a blog post but once I check their profile I realize not. I’ve even gotten one or two women like that! Did you ditch the bangs so you look less like Susan Sarandon – LOL.

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  10. “Is my avatar dressed too provocatively?” Well she’s not wearing any clothes that I can see…..so that might well qualify! You might want to send a clear message and dress her in a turtleneck.

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  11. PS. I once made a facebook page for my 90 year old mother for her folkart and got chatted up by some random guy with no interest in the art world he just wanted to chat or fish…..I quickly changed the page to private which defeated the whole purpose of showing her art.

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  15. I don’t get it. If you were wearing black leather and talking about boots…maybe you are into pain but you are what you seem to be. Hmm…maybe they want to oust your husband and live in your penthouse.

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  16. Again… another Wow! Crazy world! Seems to be an uptick in these recently. I got some on my site recently too but not to the very personal level (Thank God!). Bots looking for info and I know a good deal of them are out of Russia. Block them from your feed if you can. Your pics are fine, nothing to encourage that sort of behavior. Glad I stick to only one platform.

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  20. You’re not alone. I’ve had the same just in the last week. Heaps of new male followers out of the blue with the only pictures of them. Usually with a dog, a kid, a cute quote, all posted at the same time … So annoying and now it’s just kinda amusing. I just block them.

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  21. This is so random! I love the fact that you have made a post out of it and turned it into a positive. Not sure whether to find your experience comical or creepy! Thanks for sharing.

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  22. The guy who wrote “my Dear,” I think some of them are from foreign countries… OR have nothing better to do than prey on women and talk to anyone who will talk to them. I once had a follower like that, he started getting really WEIRD in his conversations, so I told him he was “out of line,” and BLOCKED him. So… BLOCK anyone who comes to your site and seems to be looking for a “online conversation date.” LOL

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  24. I can see where striking up a conversation on a platform where you share common interests with other people becoming the foundation of a relationship. But in this situation, where it is random and out of the blue? Yeah, they are all just potential scammers.

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      1. That is… wow. If they were honestly a widower, that is just weird. If it is some sort of joke about being divorced or something, it really is not that funny. That is just weird no matter how you look at it.

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  26. I get weird follows also, not sure if I can reject them or not, but I’m not in the market for what they are selling.
    The other thing is that I don’t think you are doing anything to provoke untoward interest from these types, it’s just that they know how to cast a wide net, knowing full well that 99.6% of the time they catch nothing, but that other .4% is what they are looking for. I sometimes get strange facebook friend requests also, and I am sure they look nothing like the photo!

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