I’m relatively green when it comes to the world of Instagram: I haven’t really learned the code of conduct as to how we act and what we do and so on. Social networks have rules and etiquette that weren’t found in Emily Post. So I freely admit, I’m not quite sure what to do, but I keep chugging along.

The avatar I use for this blog, as well as the title, are what I use on Insta. I know- I’m really creative…and really, they’re not exactly a siren call for sex…

Yet…

A few weeks ago someone liked my pic. Fine. I liked their pic back.

Isn’t this how insta works? The insta quid quo pro? (Please- tell me if this is not what you do on a sight that has like buttons)

Well, after I liked the pic, Marco sent me a private message- Hi- How are you…something like that…

I ignored it. (we’ve discussed this before- not replying to people who you don’t have any interest in talking to)

Next day- another hi.

Ignore

Next day: Why aren’t you talking to me. You liked my picture.

Me, obviously a woman who just assumes that she should apologize for something wrote back – Sorry, I didn’t know what the protocol was. I didn’t realize that liking a pic equated wanting to talk to someone.

To which he went on for a paragraph about himself, as if he was trying to pick me up at a bar

To which I responded- I’m not on insta as a dating service. I just want to be a better photographer and do this challenge.

Him: Then why did you like my picture?

Him: You shouldn’t like pictures if you don’t want to talk to someone. That’s not how it works.

Me to myself- WTF as I block him…

Remember yesterday?

Are some men afraid to comment on women’s posts because they don’t want to be seen as harassers?

Do women block out men because they don’t want to do what I just did?

J added in comments yesterday that she has blocked guys because she thought they were creepy. While I’ve never felt the need to do that on my blog, I’ve done it twice on insta (which I get isn’t a lot, but to want to chat me up based on my avatar and challenge pics is pretty desperate…)

But maybe that’s the thing: My avatar is just an average woman with glasses- (which my daughter states is actually a pretty good representation of what I actually look like- so good that she thought I used a photo of myself and put it through an avatar simulator, as opposed to designing it myself). My blog title states that I am over 50. Would some men assume I am a lonely, depressed woman of a certain age just waiting to be chatted up by Marco who is originally from Israel and now resides in Florida and likes long walks at sunset?

Do men think of social media as “dating” websites?

Do women think of social media as “dating websites”?

Have you ever been creeped out by a blogger of the opposite sex?

Blocked a blogger of the opposite sex?

What’s your opinion on the creep factor?

94 thoughts on “Creep….Creep…”

  1. Oh girl. Major eye rolling at the Instacreeps. My husband gets messages ALL THE TIME . We laugh at them. I think most of them are actually phishing expeditions. Stay away and do not reply.

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      1. Mostly random people who like his posts and then message him. I told him to stop tagging his posts #over50 #married etc. Those must be triggers for the bots.

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    1. I never had it happen with my blog, and honestly, I’ve gotten random friend requests on Facebook, but no one ever messaged me, so the fact that’s it’s happened a few times on insta in a relatively short period is freaky

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  3. Funny topic today. I have noticed online that I am careful about how I respond, because I don’t want to send the wrong message, even with bloggers I have followed a long time. I think by now they know or sense a lot about me. I never want to give a woman the impression I am creepy. BTW I have online very rarely received strange friend requests from young women – #deletequickly.

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    1. It’s obvious from the way you respond that you’re just genuinely interested in the topic at hand. Which is how I’ve actually found the male bloggers I interact with. But I’m just playing with this a bit

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  4. There are guys who are deceitful and will do anything to chat up women. I had a guy like my pics and follow me. He had made some polite and appropriate comments on some of my pictures. I looked at his feed and saw he was a neurosurgeon and being a nurse thought he had some cool surgical pics. So I liked a couple. And then it started. Not even subtle. Several messages, he wanted to meet me, although he lives overseas. So I was showing my husband and he is more detailed than I and noticed that photos of this guy in surgery weren’t the same Dr. in each photo. The guy was wearing a mask but when my hubby pointed differences out it was obvious. So me being me, I asked the guy a medical question about one of his pictures and he had no answer other than it was non-essential (which was wrong). Anyway, I googled the name of the Dr he claimed to be, not at all him!! So this guy was impersonating this Dr!!!! Didn’t even have the guts to chat someone up with his own face and name!!!! I turned him in to Instagram and blocked him. Then I was mad at myself for liking his pics because I didn’t think I was a person easily duped!!! And I do think this is more of an Instagram thing than Facebook or Blogs! My blood is boiling just thinking about it again!!

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  5. Creeper indeed in my opinion. Who needs this stuff to deal with. I mean if you’re truly about looking for someone or willing to communicate on social then fine, but yuck.
    I’m in the group that votes do not like, do not respond, do not engage in any way unless you know the person outside of social media first.

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    1. I have no problem with chatting me in the open forum…nice pic, where is that, how cool, etc….but as soon as you private message me and we have no frame of reference bells go off

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  8. My husband talks about the men/women dynamic frequently. Apparently my lack of knowledge stems from assuming everyone’s like me: prioritizing other things over sex, including manners. According to him, some people (men more so) think about it very often and will take (grasp, beg for) what they can get.

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  9. So many creeps and trolls. I have 3 or 4 pending messages from randos on Instagram on a regular basis and I’m not even on there very much.
    Do NOT engage. The good looking guy in the photo is *probably* not the person telling you they love your smile. The funniest is on Twitter where I can have multiple Keanu Reeves following me plus a few guys holding guns or wearing T shirts that say “Merica, kicking ass since 1776” or a profile that reads “single” “divorced” or “lonely” so that’s fun too.

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    1. I don’t even care about what they look like! I want to post pics and engage in an open forum! I’ve told people great shot, or how fun or something like that…but the assumption that I’m there to make friends is ridiculous

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      4. Sending money to someone is inconceivable. I totally understand why people think they have found love though

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  13. Ignore creepy comments. If they repeat, then block. Don’t ever feel bad about blocking someone – we’re not obliged to interact with someone just because we’re on social media. I block people on Twitter all the time, mainly right-wing loudmouths.

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  14. I block flaky people and creepy men from overseas who somehow found me once on social media after I returned from working in the Middle East. I hate stupid people but sometimes they entertain me for the day with their naivete. I think the men in the Middle East thought was single and I am not and I am not naive either but I do enjoy a good laugh. I am certainly not going to throw my body around ever on social media.

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  16. And by no means, do I ever infer that you are throwing your body around by the pics you post! And liking a pic…I do that often…LA…you never know what is going on in people’s mind. I doubt whether a New Yorker is lonely or desperate as your city is so busy. You can easily get into trouble there! Just joking. Enjoy your day.

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  18. Yes, I have gotten the men wanting to follow me on instagram too and I look at their profile. Most of the time they have just one or two pictures and either very few followers or a lot of followers. I block them. I did have a few “celebrities” like some of my stuff — Keanu Reeves was one — but I know that the real celebs have a mark by their name as being verified so I don’t pay attention to those that are not verified. Not too many messages privately though and my picture on insta is my real picture so maybe that’s why 🙂

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  19. I just watched an investigative report on W5 about Nigerian romance scammers, so maybe it was someone trolling for a possible victim…….or someone who thinks your avatar looks like Susan Sarandon!

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  21. I block a fair number of profiles on Instagram, Twitter, even Facebook. From my experience of internet dating, I’ve developed a sound nose for trolls & nuisance accounts. I’m afraid I don’t even wait for them to show their hand, as it’s a waste of time. I remember being an internet newbie who always gave everyone one chance, but life is truly too short for that now. It may sound cynical of me, but I find the genuine poster stands out as exactly that – utterly authentic & genuine.

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  22. What I didn’t say is that it’s a shame this is necessary, but I just accept it as the negative side of social media. So long as the positive aspects outweigh it …

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  23. I have gotten approached on LinkedIn- a supposedly “professional” site. I would get a connection request, OK it and then get the “you are very attractive” message. Seriously? Right out of the gate? Not only did I disconnect & block them, I reported them to LI. Ugh. No more strangers. Only through my blog….LOL.

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  24. Never a blogger but on insta yes. It seems to be thought of as a dating site. I have friends who have been sent random dick pics! I haven’t, but who honestly thinks they have any right to send that to someone they have never even met?

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      1. Yes I’d say there aré but I think some think it’a a site where they can just slide into anyone’s messages with all kinds of innapropriate. They’d never get away with it on a real dating site!

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  25. I don’t know if it is because my user name tends to run generic and you have to read my about section to see that I am a woman or if it is because I use no photos or even graphics of myself that indicate gender, but I just haven’t run into this myself. I do see lots of people talking about similar behavior on twitter, though. That is the only place I’ve blocked anyone so far. That was because the guy posted a comment correcting my spelling of word in a book title (not mine, and yes, it was actually correct). Why? Because apparently he felt he owned the word, decided his version of spelling it (incorrectly) was the only way it should be spelled and made it his mission in life to correct every one that ever used it. So, yeah. creepy.

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      1. It was pure delusional arrogance. It was the title of a book for crying out loud!

        The closest I’ve come to anything on my blog was someone basically telling me my blurb for my book sucked and I was marketing it all wrong while also telling me that quality editing didn’t matter. That was just more irritating and annoying rather than creepy.

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  26. Ha! Liking does not equal harassment lol

    People are weird today. Older white men try to pick me up in the DM on Words With Friend.

    You’ll get used to these comments and begin to immediately realize when to ignore and/or block.

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    2. Interesting post, disturbing responses, which is why as much as I enjoy everything the current state of technology provides, there’s an aspect to it that allows a place for the creepers. And I don’t believe it’s gender specific. Pretty sad.

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  30. Social media sites like Instagram, FB and WordPress . . to name a few, make it easy for guys to go on what I call “the soft prowl” under the guise of some other interest. Post a lovely poem or a yummy recipe or a great photo and then go. It’s a free dating site if you want to use it that way, and there are plenty of guys out there who will.

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  34. Interesting post! I have no idea of the protocol on instagram, I’m just trying to figure it out myself and post a few things. Whenever my kids stop by I ask them if I’m doing it right! I do like looking at the perfect pictures people post but sometimes I even accidentally like them!

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