Once upon a time, men and women read each others blogs and commented freely. And they lived happily ever after…

“I wish more men commented on your posts” my blog buddy D said a few weeks ago, to which I could wistfully reply- “Me too…”

Me too…

Which of course made me think about the male/female dynamic right now. Do men read blogs written by women? Do women read blogs penned by men?

I know I read whatever blogs interest me. I know I have some male followers…but the majority of those who read my blog and comment are women…

Do I write from a female perspective? Well, yeah- I am a woman. I also write from the perspective of parent, spouse, child, sibling, friend, blogger, person of a certain age, empty nester, reader, writer, tennis enthsiast, cook, culture hound….

So- are my blogs particularly feminine? Seriously- tell me if I slant too much to the “female” perspective…

But it begs the question: Why don’t more men follow/read/comment on my posts?

In general: why do we seek out and read posts written by the same sex?

My dream as a blogger would be to have people of all nationalities, socio economic class, race, religion, sexual orientation, age and sex read my posts and comments. I want to get the discussion started: I want to know how others think. I want to understand every perspective on a topic, so that I can hold a fair and balanced opinion. We don’t all have to agree- but we need to respect one another’s thoughts…

But let’s stick to male/female for now…

What stops you from reading a blog from someone of the opposite sex?

I was going to throw in another anecdote here, but I think I’m going to save that for tomorrow…I want to see what you all say before I give that story up…

86 thoughts on “A tale of Men and Women

  1. Admittedly most of the blogs I follow are written by females but there seem to be more female book bloggers than male. The only thing that puts me off reading a blog post by anyone is if I find the post offensive or just, well, boring (to me). I comment when I can but sometimes I just don’t have a chance to. Almost didn’t comment today, but the photocopier was taking forever to warm up so I had a few extra minutes 😂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I rarely comment if I read a blog on my phone when I’m out somewhere. I read blogs while in public transit, the gym, or physically on line, and it’s not conducive to commenting unless I have a really strong opinion

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I follow and comment on all sorts of blogs without regard to the gender of the writer. And I think my followers are fairly well divided equally between genders. I might have a few more female followers. Might need to do a survey. As to your blog, I think I’d know it was written by a woman even if you never stated your gender. Your language is feminine. I can’t explain why I think that, though.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. I get that. I know I’ve read books where I was shocked that the writer was a different sex than I perceived. I mean…no one is ever going to think Hemingway was a woman…

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I actually think LA’s voice, as well as her train of thought, is distinctly female, now that I read this. I also make the assumption that she is experienced, mature (not a 20 something) based on tone as well as subject matter.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I get both female and male followers on my site. I also follow both sexes blogs and comment when the mood strikes me. I also have a large international following but I think that is because of where I live.
    I find that most people will not comment on a blog unless they “feel” like they know a person. Most my commenters are people who have followed for a long time. Most were some of my first to connect with. I think it is best as a blogger to stick to what you know and then if people comment then fine. But, if you want to target a new group or attract a new sort of follower then that is tricky.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. It’s not about targeting. It’s about perception. I think there are people who will not read a blog that’s different from them. And I think that’s a problem.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I follow people who seem to be in the same age range as me, with most being female although I have a sprinkling of male written blogs in there as well.

    Perhaps the purpose of the blog drives the readership/followers. You typically write with a topic driven theme which spans concepts that cross age barriers. I ramble on about my boring life on occasion. My group is small and in general dealing with the same life issues.

    I wouldn’t stay away from a blog simply based on the sex of the owner. For me it’s the content.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Lol. I think I may actually have more male followers than female. Maybe it’s because I’ve always lived and worked in a mostly male environment and the subjects I write on probably reflect that perspective. I don’t think it’s a big deal one way or the other. People just gravitate to the posts and subjects that interest them and then find that they’re relating/connecting with the voice behind the posts. It’s all good.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I definitely don’t read a blog because of the gender, I read a blog because I enjoy reading the blog, their content interests me. I read your blog because you are an intelligent writer, this is an internet talk show with all the comments. 🙂 I find som blogs interesting because the writers are interesting, I admire the time and research of some bloggers. I like some bloggers now because they write in such a human honest way. I also like to follow Canadian bloggers when I come across them. I just think that you will find more women blogging for the same reason you will find more men wandering around hardware stores on Saturdays – that’s the way it is. So what I am doing here? It’s one of my range of interests. The house stuff I will get to later, plus I will go for a bike ride, and I will practice my contest speech later. Contest on Thursday.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Obviously, you were the one that got me thinking of the topic….😉I like to see all different perspectives on the same issue. Can’t learn if I don’t….

      Like

  7. Man commenting here!

    I’ve been doing the blog thing for over a decade, and my observation is that people tend to jump between two blog buckets… Content oriented or community oriented… Depending on their needs. I don’t think it’s necessarily gender thing.

    That said, I prefer blogs that are more expressive, and I’ve found that generally speaking, female bloggers tend to be better at this. I’m gonna go out on a limb and just guess that one reason for this might be that our culture tends to do more to blunt empathy in men than women.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s an interesting thought. Is it an empathy thing? Someone else noted that people talk about there feelings more on my blog, so maybe there’s something to it

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Um…I got men on my blog and also comments from them. A lot of them are regular commenters… This is interesting – I’m going to do an analysis just to see what it looks like, for my own knowledge and curiosity, in terms of how many males and females. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is an interesting post and something I’ve never thought about since I never look at gender when I decide to follow or read a blog. As people have commented it’s about content to a large extent but I think the original hook, if we’re backing up the process, is the person and About profile they put out there. If that’s interesting I’ll follow. The content determines whether I stay.
    Your posts sometimes lean toward a feminine perspective but how can it not? And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s who you are and a person shouldn’t stray from that because they’re concerned about an audience. I think if someone does that the reader will eventually catch on and the posts won’t be as interesting. I enjoy reading the female perspective. I have a wife and three grown daughters so it doesn’t scare me off🙂
    I find your blog is more about life and that’s a generic when it comes to gender. Don’t change or worry about it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh…I’m not changing it. I am who I am and I’m quite ok with it. I just think it’s interesting that when you look at blogs, most followers tend to be gender based. In general, I just wondered why that is. Do people shy away from different gender bloggers? I’m going to spin this a different way tomorrow

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I have to laugh for the first thing that came to my mind was well it is a known thing that women are usually the more vocal ones! 🙂

    I do have male bloggers that I follow but the majority are women.

    I have 3 male bloggers who regularly comment, though a lot of time its to give me a hard time! Haha! My posts are mostly stories unlike yours, but the men will comment on my serious ones too.

    I don’t think its anything to do with how you are writing, I think your posts can be just as interesting to men. I feel it just depends on what kind of men you have reading. Whether they are more the silent type or not.

    On another note your posts do make us open up and share our feelings sometimes and once again I think that women feel more free to do that for the most part. I am interested to see if you hear from male bloggers on this post. Interested to see what else you have to say on the subject tomorrow. As always, I enjoy your posts, so don’t change. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I have never given it a thought. If I like the content, I read it.
    In fact, I once posted a list of books I read and someone pointed out I read only Male authors and I need to balance it by reading books written by female authors. Seriously??? I was like, 😶😶😶 I read what I like, irrespective of what gender the author is. 🤷‍♀️

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  12. I think women writers are prone to more likely follow “blogging” best(?) practices. If you’re looking for engagement then it helps to end your post with a question. But I think that cuts both ways. What proceeds the prompting for a remark must spring organically from the author’s genuine interest in her subject matter. If a – “what do you think” reads perfunctory- then the post, for me, just just evokes factory piece work. Like… It’s the count of the comments that matter, not the quality of others’ observations.

    You have become a master of candidly conveying your day to day interest, subsequent world view, Big Apple parochialism, pride and problems of parenting, and things that just piss you off, into a welcoming and honest forum of exchange, without, and here’s the real wonder, comment after similar comment of tribal me-too-ism. I can never predict how your readers will react or respond. And that is a major accomplishment.

    That feel good, at all cost, tribal me-too-ism has ended my engagement on many a site hosted by both men and women.

    I think more women than men blog for engagement and far more successfully. I think, for the most part, men just throw a post up and if a LIKE results, well… that’ll suffice.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well thank you for the praise! My intention has always been to be as Dorothy Parkerish as possible, though I don’t write from the Algonquin (but that’s actually an idea…) and I hope I make people think…but that being said….so maybe it’s expectational….the expectation of the blogger and the bloggee as to what happens next

      Like

  13. I follow as many “male” blogs as “female” ones, and a few for which I don’t know the blogger’s gender (nor do I care). I read blogs for the quality of thought and quality of writing. If a blogger makes me smile, makes me think, or introduces me to a new idea, I want to follow them–regardless of who they are or where they are.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I don’t even think about gender when I choose to read a blog. Why would you if the writing is good and the voice is authentic? Blogging isn’t a female activity, it’s a human being activity. This just seems like another tempest in a teapot.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I agree that it is mostly women I follow and who follow me but I think it has more to do with content than gender. I have had to block more men than women too because they are just a little creepy to me. I kinda think more women blog in general than men though. Looking forward to your follow-up research on this, LA, as always.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. I haven’t read your comment thread yet…. actually I enjoy reading others thoughts and opinions as much as your posts themselves.

    I’m possibly the most unusual male to follow your blog, I write of sex, no children lol very little in common yet I gain insight fun and entertainment. Yes you write from the perspective of parent and daughter, a child rearing blog that has evolved into thoughts more serious, but until recently yours was a mommy blog writing from a female perspective hence the majority of commenters are middle aged American moms. And there lies my unease, many a time I’ve felt an intruder, should I be following a mommy blog? Also does LA wish only moms read her blog and up until today I’ve never been totally sure. Yep I’ve sometimes felt an intruder into a mommy circle of friends but lol I’ve persisted because I enjoy female blogs err, because I don’t understand women.

    So now after a year or so I understand you’re happy men read your blog yay! And I agree, asking the question why twenty something females from Africa don’t comment is an interesting observation, perhaps the answer is we humans are pack animals and as such follow like minded writers, incidentally you read comments beneath a twenty year old pretty female blogger, and you will notice the majority are from middle aged men, I’m as guilty, perhaps we like our egos massaged by pretty girls, you know men going through their middle life crisis….. I honestly believe that.

    Sorry for the long comment but here’s one last observation, I remember the post where you told the tale of a middle aged woman hitting on hubby after posting a photo of him on her Facebook, rather entertainingly the accompanying reply thread was hilarious, you had twenty plus middle aged women to a person saying this woman was NOT to be trusted, and jeeze those ladies didn’t pull any punches….. inidentally I think the were correct.

    So now I know, LA is happy I read her blog…… great post btw

    Liked by 2 people

  17. While it is rare, I do interact with a couple of male bloggers. Only one of them regularly comments and on a variety of posts, the rest really only interact via likes and almost always only on the photos. For me it is about content and what I find interesting. Apparently there isn’t much gender crossover when it comes to books and general post content for me, though. Not entirely surprised as most of that surrounds being a mom and books written by or about women (and are often genres historically not common for men to read).

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I have lovely male readers who comment regularly, & of course I read their blogs too, but I do agree with so many others here that content drives the readership, so of course if I’m tagging ‘menopause’ & ‘Empty Nest’ I’m going to attract more women. I follow male blogs, & a couple of non-binary blogs too; it’s always about the quality of the writing & the interesting perspectives for me. We all need to learn from each other don’t we? Isn’t that mostly what this form of communication & community is about? Looking forward to more on this topic LA- you always have interesting ideas for a post! 😃 G

    Liked by 1 person

  19. A lot’s already been said, but -yes- your blog is more feminine. I get men following and commenting when I write about topics that interest them BUT I also get the diverse crowd I do for following, commenting on, and being interested in a diverse crowd. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. LA, you do have a definite female slant to your posts. Most of it probably can’t be helped, as you pointed out. You are a female after all. I read blogs of both men and women. My guess is that the number of blogs is pretty much evened out between the sexes for me. Most of my posts lean toward the emotional side of daily life. That is not to say I write a lot on the female slant though. But then, I’m more of the “Tomboy” type of woman. (Not butch though.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I follow more women, but only because I do follow parenting blogs, which tend to be written more by women. But I just go by style mainly…if you’re readable and clever or witty I’m good

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Makes no difference to me. I follow and comment on both and although I probably follow more males than females, the difference is that big. I also feel the proportions of those who follow me, too, is roughly equal. But as to why that is, I couldn’t tell you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I compared myself to Dorothy Parker yesterday, and my blog as the Algonquin round table, so I’d love perspective of myself as I seem to think I’m in high regard….😉

        Liked by 1 person

  22. My initial thought was that more women than men blog, but the split you experience is, I suspect, more to do with style & subject matter. Personally, when deciding whether to visit a blog regularly, I read a couple of posts – if I find them interesting, educational, engaging or amusing, the blog gets a follow. Often, I don’t even know the blogger’s personal details – gender, age, culture. There’s few blogs I visit daily, I’m more of a dipper in & out depending on what’s going on in my world. Obviously it’s nice when I see bloggers whose work I enjoy visit me, but that’s not an expectation – I know it’s my job to provide content they’ll want to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are so many times I don’t know someone’s gender…and times I’m actually thought someone was the other sex…but I don’t care. I just want to read good blogs

      Like

  23. That’s interesting, because I’ve never considered someone’s sex when I choose to follow a blog. I just look at whether it’s something I want to read on a regular basis or not. I certainly have more females who read my blog regularly than males, but I do have some men who regularly comment. One of my very favorite commentors was a man who lived in Japan…his comments were always very funny…but sadly, he changed jobs and no longer has the time to blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. You’ve got another male reader here! Haha.

    I guess it depends on what the topic is. If you’re writing about the recent heavyweight title fight, you’ll probably get mainly male responses. If you pen a post about the most recent episode of The Bachelor, my guess is that you’ll get more female responses. I think it goes like that. Of course, some topics are unisex as well. It all just depends on the content in my opinion.

    Great post, LA!

    Liked by 1 person

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