On Sunday afternoon, I went to see a documentary about a journalist and her Doctor husband in Aleppo. As Janie put it, not the lightest fair for a weekend afternoon. When I returned home, my Husband asked how it was.
“Interesting…yet depressing” I remarked as I hung up my scarf and coat.
“Well…it’s not getting better.” He started. “Did you hear about Kobe?”
“No….” I said
I took in way more air than any intake of breath should. “What, how…”
And I sat in my favorite brown chair, it bringing me no comfort that day, I looked at the ESPN laden TV and just stared.
What was it about this death that just floored us? My Mom called, friends texted, daughter sent me a sad face…
I remembered hearing about him as a high school phenom, taking Brandy to his prom. The story of why he was named Kobe. His career.
I debated whether I wanted to write about him. Along with the accolades, there were also other things in his life… do I write about someone who may or may not have done something (and for the record- unless you were in the room that day, I don’t want opinions on what happened)
So I debated….do I write about someone who had controversy along with his name?
Then I thought about how I would want to be remembered. Would I want to be remembered for the worst thing I ever did? The stupidest? And believe me, I have made some very bad mistakes in my life. Conversely, would I want to be remembered by the very best things that I did? Those stand out moments?
Do I want to be remembered by the outliers?
I do not want to be remembered by the things that I did that were on the opposite ends of the good/bad scale.
I want to be remembered for the aggregate. I want to be remembered for how I acted the vast majority of the time- That I was mainly a good person, who was flawed, as all of us are, but on the whole, I did more good than bad.
And that is how I choose to remember Kobe.
Intellect. Athlete. Competitor. Father. Girldad.
Because at the end of the day, a couple of parents and coaches, and some amazing children were lost in a tragic accident while on their way to a youth sporting event.
Just parents taking their kids to their game…
As many of us have done, or still do…
That is what I will remember…
That is what I will mourn…