My Mother always told me that you can tell the true nature of a person by seeing how they act after they’ve had a few. Now, as my Mother, and the vast majority of her friends, are teetotalers, I can’t help but wonder about the veracity of this statement. Do you see the “real” person, or do you see just someone who should have had a seltzer with lime instead?

Recently my friend was at a work holiday party. Drinks all around. One of the departments recently had to make a new hire. After a careful review of resumes, and extensive interviews, a young woman was hired. Very qualified for the position at hand.

Fine.

There was another young woman at the party who had interviewed for said job.

She did not get it. (obviously)

The young woman who was not hired went over to the hiring manager, and very loudly stated:

“I know why you didn’t hire me. I’m too attractive. I know your wife and she told you not to hire me because she’s jealous.”

The manager, normally quick to respond and good with people, was shocked. He simply stated:

“No. I would never do something like that.”

The young woman just walked away.

So here’s the thing: why would you ever go to a company party, with company people, and call out a highly esteemed manager? Well, you would if you had been thinking this in the back of your mind, and then had a little (a lot) of liquid courage…

How authentic are you if you’re impaired by alcohol or drugs?

Thinking something is one thing- acting on those thoughts is another. Without alcohol to fuel her, would she have ever made these thoughts a reality?

Have you ever apologized to someone for something you did while you were less than sober?

Drunk fights?

Inebriated hook ups?

I am fond of a glass of Prosecco. I love a good fruity cocktail. I’m totally fine with people drinking alcohol…

But we always must remember that the thing about alcohol is that is loosens us up, makes us do things that we would not do when sober. Inhibitions often go right out the window along with bras and panties…

Do you like the person you become after a few cocktails better than who you normally are?

Do you think the young woman in the story regretted what she had said the night before?

Did the hiring manager dodge a bullet by not hiring this woman?

Does alcohol take away more than it adds?

Discuss…

59 thoughts on “I’ll Have Another

  1. Nearly every regrettable act or idiotic thing I’ve ever said – with few exceptions – share one common denominator … Fortunately, I’m the lightest of casual social drinkers – beer and wine – so, I tend to stay well within boundaries of where liquid confidence can stray and derail sensibilities. My belief: own whatever we say or do, intoxicated or sober. Drugs and alcohol – like too much money and power – seem to reveal true character rather than conceal it. Great post, LA 🙏

    Liked by 7 people

      1. You know, I don’t really know the aftermath of this situation, how can everyone not remember the incident? I mean, you call out a manager at a party? It’s going to be hard to get past that

        Liked by 3 people

  2. In my observation it’s the people who need to drink some alcohol the most who are the ones who resent the fact that other people drink alcohol and can loosen up and be happy about it. Would I call out a manager? Probably not, but if I did I suspect said manager deserved it. Just saying, it might all be for the good of things.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, I don’t think the adjective I’d use to describe her would be happy…I’d say it was angry. But is it ever right to call at co worker at a social event? I don’t think so. I think that reflects badly on her, not him. If she had an issue she should have gone to hr and talked to them. In this case, the person higher was better educated, had a better fitting background and was equally attractive. Now I do have to ask, if the sexes were reversed, and the hiring manger were a woman and the employee was a man, would you still think the manager was at fault? And I apologize for my take on drinking.unfortunately my ex husband was a nasty, verbally abusive drinker and I saw first hand the quick flip from tipsy fun to horrid asshole. I try not to include my bias in blogs, but in this case, it’s impossible to be objective.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. There’s no reason to believe that a woman manager couldn’t be awful, so in a reverse situation I’d still say there was a reason. Whether this was the best way to address the problem, I couldn’t say for sure, but do know that sometimes making a public scene is the only way to bring the problem to light. As for the drinking of alcohol in general, I’m for it. As for the abuse of it, I’m not for it. The difficulty comes in knowing yourself well enough to know what is good for you. Self-awareness is key.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I don’t think something like that should ever be done in a social setting because I think it makes her look bad (or him) it’s impossible to prove this, how do you prove one is more attractive than another, and that’s the reason someone didn’t get hired. I don’t like the I’m too hot defense that some are using now. I can’t help but think it’s sour grapes, just like the I didn’t get hired because I’m not attractive enough. I’ll tell you one thing, I would absolutely not want to work with this person, nor would I trust them at all. To me, an outburst at a work party is an absolute no.

        Liked by 5 people

  3. The woman’s behavior is inexcusable, whether a little drunk or not. You don’t have a right to call out your manager about a hiring decision at a company party. It probably confirmed his decision to hire someone else. If she had a problem with it, she should have asked for a meeting to discuss at work. She made herself look like a jackass.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Married into an alcoholic family. Divorced a person whom I believe to clearly be dependent on alcohol… I’ve probably seen it all.
    Start out as an ass-booze doubles and triples that. Start out as lewd and misogynistic- it only gets worse. Depressed without alcohol- there’s a crisis at hand after. Things we normally wouldn’t do or say– well that’s why they talk about no inhibitions.
    My personal opinion, nothing about the use, or misuse of alcohol makes anything better, even if you show your authentic self.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. A work holiday party takes away more than it adds. And I often find alcohol a fine antidote for life’s nagging little anecdotes. And a firm believer that a once a decade serious drunk is a healthy cure.

    Until recently, I’ve been a daily drinker; one before, one with dinner, sometime more or less come the weekend. A fine bourbon is an adult pleasure that, for the most part, I’ve appreciated maturely. And yes, alcohol can loosen, but equally allow a taste of introspection. And I’m fine with that. And with this post.

    Thanks

    Liked by 6 people

  6. What a loaded question…lame pun intended….
    I think alcohol in small doses is fine (at least for me) because I enjoy the relaxation and how it loosens up situations sometimes in interesting ways. I don’t like to not remember what happened so I don’t imbibe more than 2 glasses.
    As for the girl in the post example, it’s unfortunate that she spoke her truth in that way, whether it really was the truth of the situation or not (her not getting hired for position).
    I have seen people who surprise me with what they say when they’re drinking when the mask slips and we see the authentic self emerge. Sometimes it’s pretty scary.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. I have seen some really bad episodes of behavior when sad people have over indulged. Scary episodes, and now in thinking about alcohol today I realize I don’t like it around. I live in wine country, award winning wineries but I am rarely tempted with the exception of an amazing raspberry wine from Elephant Island winery, but it smells and tastes amazing, a dessert wine, and I am a sweets person. Most wineries are grapes but Elephant Island does fruits like apples, cherries etc.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. This young woman should regret her behavior. Whether or not she does is another story. But this does speak to how it works so differently depending on the person. I’ve always loved my drink, but I consider time and place. I didn’t drink on my wedding day because I didn’t want to be slowed down or flushed and I wanted to remember it fully. Also, events involving workplace or family, I nurse . . and I mean get a drink and basically hold to that drink. Its not about saying something I’ll regret. I just want to keep my faculties intact.

    At home? In my jams watching Netflix? Gimme a tumbler or two of bourbon and I’m a happy boy, lol.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I think it always effects people differently. I can’t say as I’ve done things I really regret or look back on and am embarrassed by while drinking. If anything, I’m more likely to let stress and worry over looking stupid go enough to have fun, but that is mostly in the form of dancing (always, ALWAYS took me forever to dance in front of other people, no matter how well I knew them) and being able to actually speak to other people (hello, major introvert). Over the years, though, I’ve seen friends and acquaintances have all kinds of different reactions and behaviors, many of them bad enough that I chose not to be around them while they were drinking.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh my, were I the young lady in this story, I probably would have quit rather that face that crowd again. I never practiced alcohol drinking, barely a taste, did not grow up with my dad but he is an alcoholic and seen it one too many times. Drinking in excess is a very bad look in my opinion especially for ladies, not a good look at all and can land you in some sticky situations.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Alcohol is an issue that is hitting close to home so I have to focus on your scenario only. If the young woman did NOT regret her actions the next day she should have. Bringing something like that up at a work party is definitely not the right place. She’s a little full of herself too, IMO, to think that her looks are a factor. If she was that gorgeous as to cause marital issues between the HR guy and his wife, why would she work there at all?

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Wow . Incidentally I’ve heard of wives interviewing and hiring their husbands secretaries and I understand the reasons why, like her ‘walking middle life crisis’ having his head turned by some sweet young thing then bang goes the marriage! So there’s plausibility to your mum’s theory because alcohol definitely loosens the tongue, truths are said which should be left unsaid, and a couple of drinks could give you the misguided confidence to share opinions you wouldn’t normally say…. perhaps.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Loose lips sink ships! Wise words in this situation.

    I think if everyone who over indulged was taped (filmed) in how they acted then the shame of the behavior would fix the behavior fast! Although, if you are an ass sober then drinking makes a bigger ass of themselves I think the filming approach would not work. Seen people think it was real cool they were dumb as crap drunk doing stupid stuff no matter who they hurt in the process. Then brag for years how tough they were. These are the same types that need a real reality check! AA meetings and corrective behavior. Sadly too many people die from the actions of people who can’t control situations once alcohol or drugs is involved.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I rarely have an alcoholic drink any more. I did back in the day, but somehow it just doesn’t appeal like it once did. I do prefer to be in complete control of my thoughts and actions. I have no doubt the young woman who did not land the position was very embarrassed after the fact (at least I would be). Sometimes inhibitions are a very good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I am wondering if this woman used alcohol as an excuse to say what she what she did. I say this as I had a friend who would say not so nice personal things to people and then “blame” it on the fact that she had a lot to drink. After seeing this a few times I was curious to just how much she drank before she would attack. To my amazement, she nursed her 1 drink most of the night and then did her usual mean comment followed by an I’m sorry I’ve been drinking. So, I felt this ‘friend’ who claimed she had been drinking a lot just used it as an excuse to sink her claws in someone. A form of liquid courage I guess.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. When you consume too much (different with everybody) you lose your inhibitions. I think a healthy dose of inhibitions makes the world a better place. In my younger days I could and would drink a lot more than now and I know my limits, some people never figure that out. I think that manager did dodge a bullet by not hiring her and it might have been in the back of his mind that she was a bit of a loose cannon.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. My testing ground for how lubricating alcohol can be was college. Thankfully I never got pregnant but did see its power. I came from a family of social drinkers but was not permitted to drink anything more than beer. So after 4 years of college followed by 3 years of the marriage-that-should-never-have-been and a few years adjusting to the shock and pain of divorce I learned. Like falling down stairs, sort of.

    Liked by 1 person

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