“There is only one happiness: to love and be loved.” Tom Cutler

Rachel threw that quote my way yesterday, with the comment “I don’t think it’s true, and yet I like it.” True to form, I started thinking….

I know I just said that a person can’t make you happy. I stand by that proclamation.


Do we need to love and be loved to be happy?

Remember, love can come in many forms- it doesn’t have to be just romantic. There’s love of family: parents, children, siblings. There’s love for your friends.

If we have no one in our lives- how happy are we?

Can we exist without completely and utterly alone?

I would like to say that I live in a state of complete autonomy: but I don’t. Even in its imperfect state, I love my parents and I know they love me. I experienced the ridiculous pounds of love that grandparents lavish on their grandchildren. I have a husband. My daughter. My friends…those nine or so people that I let into my head and my heart…

Let’s not even talk about how much I love my dog and cat…

So do you have to love someone?

Are humans meant to have a human connection with another person?

Maybe we don’t need a specific person: maybe we just need a person or persons.

Can you imagine your life without any love?

51 thoughts on “Do you Need Love for Happiness…

      1. I think that connections are what keep us engaged and feeling alive. we don’t have to be present with those people/animals all the time, but knowing they exist is enough.

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  1. Interesting post – again! Your closing question is a difficult one. Having known love, it’s just about impossible for me to imagine life without any love but there must be some who can. I guess only those who have never known love, in any form, or have, for whatever, reason never felt love, can truly answer.

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    1. I have some single friends, no dating, no marriage, and they’re truly happy with their lives. But they have a support system of friends and family…. I don’t know

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      1. Ah, now that’s a different stream of thought isn’t it? Whether we need to be with someone in order to know love and be loved. Hopefully, your single friends knew love growing up and know it still through family and friends thus they aren’t in a strong position to answer your question either? It’s a toughie!

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  2. I think it’s in our human nature to want to feel a love connection with someone. The need to feel like we matter to someone is helpful for self-growth. I for sure don’t need many people to love me but a few will do.

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  3. The answer may come in how someone defines love and as you’ve pointed out, love can mean many things depending upon who you ask.
    Thinking back I’m reminded of posts about human needs and the need we have to be recognized, to know that even just one other person sees that we exist. Some want the world to know and go to great lengths to achieve their goal. Others move through life quietly with much less fanfare.
    That knowing of another doesn’t necessary equate to love though. Love is an emotion that grows out of caring and nurturing and shared experiences. To me it means a connection, but also a bond.
    Do we NEED love to be happy- no. Many do just fine without.
    Does loving and being loved and forming that bond always mean happiness- no to that as well.

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  4. I agree with the quote that says, “The three grand essentials of happiness are: Something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.” (various people are given credit for this, but it appears to go back to Alexander Chalmers, a Scottish writer). Seems that “someone” could be a pet, people we see only occasionally, or even a person from our past.

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  5. No. I am not much for romantic love (I’m the WORST at it) but my life is so full of love for my children, my friends, and my own self. Without love, life would have absolutely no meaning, and I need people (and pets) for that love. I think it is the essence of life.

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  6. I have never lived a moment I think without love. How could I imagine it? Certainly I have had a broken heart but there was always someone. Looking at animals isolated in the zoo, they can go mad from isolation, perhaps we are identical.

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  7. I honestly think it depends on the person. There are people that are completely content on their own and prefer it that way. I’m very much an emotional person and I need those connections (and is part of why it takes me so long to break then when they are unhealthy). I thrive on those connections. Could I be happy without them? Possibly. But only because there are a lot of things in life that I enjoy doing. It wouldn’t be the same kind of happiness or even the same level of happiness. It is possible to be happy and lonely at the same time and I think that is where I’d fall.

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      1. If you’d have asked me this even just a few years ago, I probably would have answered differently. The last few years have forced a massive shift in how I view a lot of things.

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  8. For me, love is connections whether physical, mental, emotional and even as much as I can feel like I want to be alone at times, I need those loving connections in my life. They are treasured moments for me that add up to a life well-lived (at least that’s what I’m hoping my legacy is). Those connections can be with myself, my family and friends, pets, nature, bloggers, and even spiritual meaning God.
    Love isn’t necessarily romantic or sex. Love is peace, unity of spirit, mind and heart.

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  9. Different people need different levels of attachment and I think the comments prove that point.
    When I was teaching, I received so much love on a daily basis from my students and their families. That sustained me in ways I didn’t realize and I’m still in touch with many of them on a regular basis. Now, most of my love comes from my children who are far away (although I’m visiting one of them now which wonderful) and Charlie. Charlie is everything to me. 😊

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  10. I love cheese…and bacon.😁 But seriously, I don’t need a lot of people in my life, but some are essential. I used to fantasize about being a hermit, and I would just love the plants and animals, but not being able to have a two-way conversation would eventually be oppressive. Since I began living with pets, though, I can’t imagine not having them in my life.

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  11. Wow, that Tom Cutler quote has kicked up a storm of thoughtful comments, most flowing far from the starter: that there is only one happiness — to love and be loved. That is a true, deep, affirming happiness which is (perhaps) the basis for all other happinesses– of which I believe there are many, such as creative flow and satisfaction in helping others. And I must admit that at almost-80 and long divorced, it never occurred to me that an enduring mutual love would necessarily be with a husband or personal partner! Funny how that changed over time.

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  12. Great post. The Quest for Happiness is what every single one of us is looking for. I spent some time looking into this and I wrote a book about it ‘ This is Your Quest – Your Mission: To experience Happiness along the way ” – http://www.authorjoannereed.net. and on the subject of love I wrote an article a while ago about titled “8 Flavors of Love9According to the Greeks) – Which once are you?” Feel free to check it out! https://authorjoannereed.net/lets-talk-about-love-8-flavors-of-love/

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    1. I’d actually been talking (prior) to how the greatest mistake we make as parents is to tell our kids to be happy because it’s an undefinable word and then people get upset when they haven’t reached happy


  13. GM! I am a very independent person who would rather spend time alone on most days. However, I do need love and connection with people to be happy. If I don’t feel connected, I feel lost. A good romantic love is wonderful, but I have been just as happy single. 😊

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