“The other kid was mean to me.”
“I didn’t get the good bat.”
“The teacher didn’t make that clear.”
“It’s not my fault.”
Have you noticed that people are out to get you? Every person in the universe has made it their goal to destroy your hopes and dreams?
Every time something goes wrong, it’s the fault of someone else, or something else. It’s never your fault. Nothing is ever your fault. The litigious mindset has entered the everyday…
When did we lose sight of personal responsibility? As TJ remarked yesterday, part of being independent is accepting that sometimes when bad things happen, it is your fault.
Bad grade? Well, did you study enough?
Iffy review at work? Did your performance this past year really exceed expectations?
Not make the team cause you’re too short? Well maybe, but then again, maybe you just weren’t good enough…
Does blaming something/someone else really make the rejection/bad grade/whatever better? Or does it just put a Band-Aid on the situation?
If we’re trying to improve our self confidence by placing the onus of responsibility of someone else- we’re doing it wrong. We MUST accept that there are people that are better than us. We must accept that there is a whole wide world of people who can do things and do things well. While I have no doubt there are times when the “less deserving” has gotten something, you can’t just assume that this is the always the case. Blaming doesn’t make it any better. You can’t live your life blaming outside influences for the state of your life.
It’s that whole resilience thing again…
Next time something doesn’t go your way (or your child’s way) think about why it went wrong. Think about ways in which you could have been better. Unless you’re in a ski race and your boot inexplicably breaks, try not to put the blame on something else. This does not mean “blame” yourself. (Blame should not be a word that anyone uses on an everyday basis) Just try to come up with a different plan of attack for the next time you try something. Figure out what went wrong- learn from the experience.
No one makes every team. (Michael Jordan didn’t have a stellar baseball career) No one wins everything. No one glides through life with no setbacks. Everyone fails sometimes. When these things happen, it’s just life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Accept that and move on.
Blame only moves you back. Blame never moves you forward.
Accept that…and move on…