No two people are alike. We are all as unique as our fingerprints. Yet, most of us manage to find relationships, whether they be family, friends, or romantic partners. How important is it for the people in a relationship to be in sync? Are certain issues more important than others?
Let’s talk about partners. What are the most important ways for two people to be alike? Obviously, it’s specific to the actual sets of people. I know people who would never consider marrying someone who was not the same religion, while others could care less.
But what about politics? Can a democrat and a republican share a bed without the pull of left or right entering into the discussion? Do you lose respect for your partner if they don’t pull the same lever as you do in the voting box? Or in NYC, fill in the same blanks?
How about how you want to raise your kids? Before marriage people may talk about wanting kids, but how often do they ask what the tenets of parenthood are? Can a disciplinarian coexist with a laisez faire parent?
Rural or urban? If one partner dreams about living on ten acres, miles away from anything, can their partner be someone who likes walking two minutes to get a Starbucks? Remember Green Acres? Did Lisa really like living with a pig? If the show lasted longer would she have moved back to Park Avenue?
I’ve seen plenty of home decorating shows where a sparse modern is paired with a cozy Victorian, and I really begin to wonder how many other things are they opposite on.
Which differences matter more than others?
How are you and your partner different and does it cause friction?
How are you able to compromise, or at least reach détente on issues that you don’t see eye to eye on?
How many differences are too many?
Irreconcilable differences is a valid reason for divorce. Is that just a fancy way of saying “We just disagree?”
All comments welcome!! There are no wrong or right answers….it’s just food for thought…