Yesterday, I posted about how we’ve evolved into a new short term economy, where many are not choosing to follow the stereotypical 9-5 what a way to make a living path. Blog friend Amy (who I believe resides in Tokyo so most of you didn’t see her comment) made some very valid arguments to the contentions I laid out yesterday.

Of course- I started thinking. And the idea I originally had for today’s blog is now pushed to the future, and I’m going to try to discuss some of the points that she made. For brevity sake, I’m going to break it down over at least two days, so I can narrow my focus.

Today- as the title suggests, I’m going to start with my problem with influencers. I think it is integral to the discussion that I define what I mean when I use the term, and what my issues are.

Influencers are those who use an online platform to discuss their particular agenda, whether is be lifestyle, fitness, or pretty much anything. When I think of influencers, I think of Pinterest Perfect Moms, and I am thankful that there was no Pinterest when my daughter was young, because I’m pretty sure I would have suffered a mental breakdown.

Influencers excel at marketing what is great about their lives. They make three dozen intricately detailed cupcakes for their child, hand dye the tablecloths, build a robot t rex that can give rides, all while wearing a flawless Wilma Flintstone costume (I did not intend to pull out a Kardashian reference- I was merely thinking dinosaur theme, and the recent pic of a top influencer just appeared in my mind) 

Influencers show us a world that we can have if we just try to be perfect 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They show a standard of living that is unrealistic, and frankly unhealthy. When I look at some of the influencer pictures, I can’t help but think Stepford… At 50+, I’m perfectly content with not being even remotely perfect.

But if I were younger….

I worry about people who may not have developed self esteem. I worry about people who feel like they don’t fit in. I worry about people who will do anything to belong to a group, to be part of something….

This group is called influencer for a reason….their goal, their purpose, their reason for existence, is to influence you to do something, wear something, buy something, because if you do, your life will be better.

Doesn’t everyone want to be better?

But the problem is, you can’t get better externally, getting better is internal. You can wear the brand du jour, but if you still feel empty inside, the outer shell doesn’t matter. My problem with influencers is that they are really selling hope, hope that all your dreams will come true if you just follow the path that they have laid out. And the thing is, we all need to find our own individual path… We don’t need to be like everyone else. We need to figure out who we are…. Because each of us is unique and perfect just as we are.

When I was growing up, we kept up with the Jones family. Now we keep up with the Kardashians. Hopefully, we’ll eventually figure out how to keep up with no one.

81 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Like Influencers”

  1. Very wise post, LA.
    I am not easily influenced, and I have a great talent for doing nothing.
    My husband says that this is my special gift !
    The only opinion that matters to me, is what God thinks about me. 😁

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  2. “You can wear the brand du jour, but if you still feel empty inside, the outer shell doesn’t matter”.

    That’s just it, isn’t it? It’s funny because we decry the idea of shallow or surface oriented personalities and yet, the influencer feeds in to that very thing. But as you say so very well, topical doesn’t feed us the nutrients we truly need.

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    1. That’s exactly my problem with them , and the attitude. They are telling you you’re not good enough, but you will be if you do X or Y. And they speak to the most vulnerable. In certain ways, it’s a form of “nice” bullying….

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  4. I think striving toward an expected standard like being productive and looking our best (within reason) are good strategies. Many people, especially those struggling to be responsible after a childhood of no responsibilities and an adulthood filled with instant satisfaction, see your philosophy as a hedonistic one.

    Since I know your point is made from the perspective of self-acceptance and happiness, I do agree with those. Not only do many feel they must appear like the influencers, but they mistake true happiness with a fake lifestyle and conformity.

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      2. Exactly! I want to see the other side of the room!! I want to see the failed baking attempts, when the kid has a melt down, when the dog poops on the rug

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  6. Preach it sister! I love this. I used to try to be a Pinterest perfect teacher and a Flylady perfect wife/mum/homemaker. It did nothing but turn me into a very stressed out someone I was not meant to be. I’ve quit trying to be perfect at anything now – much to the disappointment of my hubby and kids 😂

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  7. I don’t have a problem with influencers who promote being your own true self, as you said. Those who teach finding who you truly are and being true to yourself at all costs. We are all unique and there is no one path for all. People believing there is one path for all is what has made our society so sick. I only read and watch influencers who promote authenticity.

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  8. Reblogged this on Life and Random Thinking and commented:
    LA is a blogger who promotes discussion, and even if you don’t comment; you likely will ponder the issue.
    I am happy to reblog her today because the topic is about accepting ourselves. I know having a prominent fistula in my arm caused me to hide by wearing long sleeves but I accept myself now, and don’t worry about weird looks or questions if you broke my wrist.
    I also am not in competition, this is my life, and I am content to be me.

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    1. So funny! My gut reaction is that women are influenced more than men, but I’m not sure. I know my husband would never care if my kid had a perfect birthday. He doesn’t even understand why I put out cocktail napkins when we hav3 people over fi4 drinks

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      1. Ha ha! One of my friends had an epic fight w/ her husband over their daughter’s 5th b’day party, an expensive fete complete w/ an appearance by Snow White or some such figure. Her husband roared at her that all he ever had for his birthday was “chocolate milk and chips in the garage.” This was years ago, pre-Pinterest!

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  10. My kids didn’t even have a first birthday party per say because they weren’t old enough to know what was going on. Bad mom? I am slowly getting into Pinterest (as marketing for my own crafting) and like some of the things I see there but to go over the top is not for me. When my kids were little I did read Parenting magazine and Good Housekeeping, etc., (Pinterest of the past) and got several ideas for cute birthday party themes but my outcomes certainly did not look exactly like the pictures in the magazines. The kids were okay with that, and if they weren’t, oh well.

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    1. I actually got into a fight with my inlaws about my daughters first birthday….seriously….I never tried to impress anyone. I just wanted my daughter to have nice memories

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      2. How many books has she sold because of her book clubs? And her list of favorite things? People buy things solely because she says they’re superior

        Liked by 2 people

  13. “You can wear the brand du jour, but if you still feel empty inside, the outer shell doesn’t matter”.

    I worked alongside an influencer who on paper had it all. In reality her life was a train wreck. Interestingly, she attracted narcissists. They held each other up, supported each other. I don’t think she even realised she wasn’t living her real life – everything was fake.

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  14. I think that today’s influencer is yesterday’s show off with a twist. A show off wants you to envy what they have -period. An influencer wants you to envy what they have AND get what they have — and they’re happy to show you where and how so they get credit/money/clicks/followers..right? What the show off and the influencer do have in common is the need to stay ahead of everyone else at all times– SOO exhausting!!

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  17. Great post ! I remember I literally laughed out loud when I first saw the term “influencer.” I think it’s horseshit – pardon my language. The people I see with this label are often self-proclaimed egotistical nothings. They can only be an influencer if someone thoughtlessly follows them. You are completely right, we need not compare ourselves to people like this or feel less because we don’t have what they have. We need to find ourselves internally. We are all great. There are good role models out their, but they are not self-proclaimed gods of materialism 🙂

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      1. Yep, and what good are doing for society. Are they helping to feed, clothe, and shelter the poor? Are they spreading some teachings to help people to become self-aware. Or are they just promoting themselves – self-aggrandizement

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  18. I’m so uninfluenced that I really don’t know who the Kardashians are. Aren’t they some sort of latter-day Gabor sisters? This whole topic is probably beyond me, but your reasoning seems sound. I’m all for self-improvement as long as we are doing it in our own way and not to please someone else or do it like someone tells us to.

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  19. I’m proud to say I don’t know the Kardashians from Adam and have never watched any of the housewives shows which are in the same category as far as I can tell. I like Pinterest for ideas but my results would fall into “Pinterest Fails” 😂😂 but it’s good enough for me.

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  20. I find the Kardashians disturbing. I don’t get how the mom pimped out her kids. So gross. Hate how they crowd out other more worthy stories out of the news.

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  22. The mention of Martha proves that influencers aren’t a new thing, they’ve always been there, but there’s no doubting the internet has hosted their explosion. The amount of marketing spend targeted at children is quite horrifying. Unless you spend a huge amount of time and effort ensuring that your children develop sound core values, they can be vulnerable to the current rash of influencers. But in societies where it is necessary for both parents to work full-time, this can leave a vacuum which is filled with things rather than time … and hence a greater vulnerability.

    There’s some great Youtubers who both inspire and educate those wanting to make changes to their lifestyles – living off-grid, or with greater more ecological awareness, making changes for better mental health etc – and they’re great. The vacuous lot who are all about selling expensive stuff we don’t need, they are a pox on this earth for sure. All we can do is educate, educate, educate.

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    1. Educate is the optimum word. Make sure our kids are confident and have self esteem. Show them that what you have isn’t as important as who you are….FYI….I’m not a fan of Martha….except I do respect her intelligence and work ethic

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  30. A thought-provoking post. You are right, of course! There’s a staggering number of these influencers out there and the ones that have the massive followings sooner or later start plugging their own lines of merchandise. It’s probably always been that way but before you had to wait for the fair to hit town or go to the movies to see endorsements by movie stars. Alas, the messaging has become more subtle in the internet age and certainly far far more pervasive.

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      1. Yes, sadly that’s true and perhaps that’s where this current period of time differs from others – kids are actively being targeted and bombarded by blatant and subtle marketing. Far more invidious than the temporary splurge of toy ads on TV in the run-up to Christmas which was always more about ‘pester power’ than cynical aspirational lifestyle ploys.

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  31. It’s so well put. I think the young ones have been sensitized. I didn’t complain so much when I was a kid, or even now. I hope they stop looking at how they think things should be and see how well many of them have beautiful life.

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