Let’s give a hypothetical.
You love cooking. When you get to college there are five different cooking clubs, all requiring a try out. You love to cook and bake in all its forms, though you have a slight preference to French cooking. You think you’re a really good cook, and you’ve even won a few cooking contests, and were asked to bake things in High School. You can’t imagine you will have any problem getting into the French cooking club at college.
So you try out for the French cooking club, and you don’t even make it to the second round.
You cry and throw a fit and are inconsolable.
You are upset and can’t believe that you didn’t make the club.
You decide that you are definitely going to try out for the club again.
But you don’t try out for any of the other four cooking clubs. You become obsessed with making the French cooking club.
You try in the spring: you don’t get in. You try the following fall. Don’t get in. Spring: denied.
You still say you love cooking, but somehow you have not tried out for any of the other four clubs. Truth be told, you haven’t really practiced that much either, which is fine, because you only cook for fun.
As the next fall rolls around, you decide not to try out for the French cooking club, or any cooking club. You say all the people in the French cooking club are bitchy and mean and jealous. They don’t like you because you are good but different than them.
You stop cooking.
So here are my questions:
Do we become so focused on one particular outcome that we forget about everything else?
Do we have trouble accepting when things don’t go exactly our way?
Do we make excuses about outcomes because we don’t like to face the reality that we are just not good enough?
Ally mentioned yesterday that before she gives up on something, she thinks about why she wants to, and how her life will change because of it. If you don’t like cooking anymore, if it no longer brings you joy, by all means give it up. Leisure activity should bring you some sort of peace or excitement or a good feeling- it shouldn’t be something that you dread.
But, are you actually going to miss cooking? Do you miss cooking? If so, ask yourself why you can’t try out for one of the other clubs. Are you afraid you aren’t going to make it? Are you afraid to find out that in your small high school you were the king of the world, but in the actual world you’re just another pawn? Are you giving up because you’re “Not good enough”? Is it easier to blame others for your failures? Do you not want to take personal responsibility?
In this scenario- why are you giving up?