My Daughter has Prom tonight.

Well, actually, she is getting her make up done at 10am. Then her hair at 11. Then Pre-Prom starts at 2, and it will be a half hour cab ride to the person hosting pre prom. Need to be at school by 4pm for the busses to leave at 430.

As of now it’s like, a 65% chance of rain.

Pre prom is outside- big roof.

Prom is at a lovely place in New Jersey, with a big terrace overlooking the Hudson River.

Hence prama….

But the whole thing surrounding prom….

Some people hated prom. Others said it was the best night of their lives. Some simply do not go. What makes this night special enough to warrant a million emotions?

My Daughter hates the abstract idea of prom being something that one takes a date to. To her, it is a school dance, and therefore, as a school event, there should be no push to have this a dated event. At the beginning of Senior Year, she and her five best friends made a pact: Unless someone was in a relationship, there would be no dates. This would be their last Hurrah as a group, before they head out to various parts of the country.

Fine.

Except the first prama came when one girl wanted to bring a date- a boy she did not know that well…

In the end, she’s not bringing a date. But the angst….the ridiculous conversations….the prama….

Tables. Who is going to sit where and with whom. That was a fun ten days…

Where are they going to do pre prom? How many pre proms are they going to?

Where are they changing after prom for the after prom….

Do you want to go in the talk of who is renting a space for after prom? Which diner they will go to at 6am?

Prama.

And the anxiety has already begun in my house as my daughter is one very taut nerve. If you want to know why parents lose their cool, it’s events like this….

I’m sipping tea, listening to the jackhammers in the background, knowing that that will be the least annoying sound I hear today. I’m sure the whining will be much worse….

But I also know that at 4pm, when my daughter is standing under golf umbrellas with her friends, and they all look so pretty, and their smiles will be flashing, I will stand next to by friend S, and we will tear up a little, and we will hug each other. We will smile and laugh and cry. We will watch our incredible daughters head off to, hopefully, an incredible night under the stars.

I’m sure that Billy Joel tune will ring in my ears- “Now before we end, and then begin, we’ll drink a toast to how it’s been, I’ve loved these days.”

 

63 thoughts on “Prama”

  5. LOL at Prama. Both my kids have done the go in a group thing…seems to be less pressure.

    This year my son took a date, I knew he was going to ask someone. For lack of a better word I had to do a little nagging to get him to realize that a girl needs plenty of time to get a dress so he couldn’t ask her at the last minute. Had to nag him about going to the tux place as well. I was worried he would end up in a pastel purple tux if we waited until the last minute.

    Many kids will meet at a picturesque location for before prom pictures. There was a ton of kids and parents at one particular location. Couldn’t believe some of the kids I had known since kindergarten were practically adults, in grown up clothing. It was a treat to see my son in a tux as he prefers casual clothes.

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  7. Never heard the term Prama. But I had it. I was going to go with a handsome handsome friend who my best friend started dating two weeks before prom forcing me to find somebody for 3 inches shorter than me who I worked with at the movie theater😂

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    1. My daughter started saying it six weeks ago, so I honestly don’t know how widespread the term is, but she thought it was apropos. I know how much stress there’s been….I can’t imagine throwing a date into the mix

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    1. I know! It should be fun, almost like the final act, but it should have way less drama! Hang with your friends, dance, watch the sunrise, east pancakes cause no one ate carbs since May 15

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    1. Omg I’m glad it’s just rainy!! What’s funny is her school is actually low key compared to some of the nyc suburbs. There’s no theme or invitation or anything like that.

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      2. Yeah…no theme, I think they might pick a king and queen but I’m not even sure. It’s more about the dresses hair and make up

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  10. God it sounds exhausting, worse than wedding prep! Do they need to start prepping so early and so many pre-parties? I remember when prom was a dinner at a fancy restaurant before a dance in a decorated gym which was over at eleven, then maybe a post-party if your date didn’t have to return his dad’s car. But then I’m old, and you had to have a date years ago to go to prom. It seems so much better and inclusive to go in groups, so that’s an improvement.

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  11. Personally, I hated prom. We homeschooled our kids so no prom there… Sort of. DS went with his future bride her senior year and they had fun I think. DD went to two school dances with friends and decided it wasn’t worth it. She would have gone had someone asked but… I miss that we don’t have all the prom photos but I actually don’t think we missed much. Hope it all goes well and the rain stays away!

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    1. I’m excited to see her all dressed up, because I’m a mom and you always want to see your kid smiling and happy….hoping it is smiling and happy…..😆 this is the only dance the school has…homecoming is very low key, like no dates, jeans and such.

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      1. I actually like that. I think prom should be the big one that they really dress up for. Where are the girls wear prom dresses or very near to every dance!! I agree 💯 about enjoying seeing them dressed up. That’s the fun part for sure! My daughter lives to get all dressed up. She does whenever we go to the ballet… Though now she’s in it so she doesn’t get dress up the same way. 😁. Enjoy the day!

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  12. I heard a mom talk about her 8th grader daughter graduating and the expense and drama incurred by that.

    Grade 8. 😉

    I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like at end of highschool. 🙂

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    1. My daughters 8th grade graduation was tame, but a high school classmate of my husband,,,,they rented limos and the whole thing. Crazy.

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  13. I don’t know how it is there but here the boys have a TON of pressure on them to even ask a girl to prom. They have come up with some wild “promposals.” Sheesh! In my day we had Junior Prom and Senior Ball. Now it is just one Prom for both juniors and seniors. Kind of takes the specialty out of being a senior I think. Hope they have an excellent time and that the weather holds up for the outside parts.

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    1. My son did a promposal..it was just a decorated cardboard sign. Two girls who were friends of the girl he was going to ask came over and helped him make the sign. I thought that was cheating that he had help making the sign, but oh well.

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  15. Proms are not without some fun drama but hopefully it was be a wonderful experience for you and your daughter!! Where is she headed for the weekend? Do they still go to the beach?

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  16. One of the things I wish I could redo the most is my prom night, because back then it was my dream to have the perfect dress, with perfect hair and perfect photos. Instead I had to make changes last minute and rushed into my dress, curling my hair half- blind from my poorly applied fake lashes. Hope she has a great time and makes the most out of this! It’s one night you never forget.

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  17. I went to prom every year of high school, but I went as someone’s date. But way back in the ice age that was they way it was done. I think it is pressure filled and expensive but if it is only seniors then it could be just part of their end of the year activities. It really is her last fling with her high school friends so I hope she has a great time and lots of great memories.

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  18. 😀 End of Term school Disco in my day, all very low key. Several years ago an ‘actual’ red Fire Engine pulled into the cul-de-sac to pick up a party of girls in evening dresses!!! All good fun you’re only young once 🙂 .

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  19. Prama is a perfect word. I remember my proms well. We had a junior/senior prom. Juniors were in charge of decorating, and also got to attend, while seniors were given special deference. Sophomores served at the event. Our proms were terribly unsophisticated, but we didn’t know that. Dinner and dancing to a live band seemed so grown up to us. Come to think of it, I’m surprised that our very Baptist community didn’t outlaw dancing a la Footloose.

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  20. I have yet to deal with anything prom related. My oldest has zero desire since it requires he leave his precious video games and his solitary space in his room. My daughter is too young yet, but she will be the type to want to go, but so many factors will play into that. Prom has always been a big deal, but it has become insane and I am so not looking forward to it. I’m a little surprised yours is so late in the year. Maybe it is a regional thing, but prom around here is almost always in March or April so that it doesn’t interfere with end of the year activities. I can’t imagine that drama on top of graduation!

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  23. My school had junior prom and a few other dances which was only for couples. Senior prom, which was no dates and only for graduating seniors was the night of graduation.
    By the time my children were in the same HS, all dances were open to groups, couples, or you could go alone. Senior prom followed the same format as in my day, but the name changed to party.
    I remember it all and they are good memories indeed.

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