This year I’ve been thinking about a theme, and using it for Monday to Friday blogs. This gives me the ability to incorporate thoughts that my blog friends have given me into a central idea or unit. I have been fond of this method because it has given me time to pause, reflect and slow down, which was one of my goals for the year. But I’ve realized that sometimes I need a follow-up. Weeks or months later I have thoughts or ideas that stemmed from past blogs. So this week, piling on from last week, will be a few new ideas I’ve had about past subjects.

A few months ago I wrote about Myers Briggs, and my typing ISTJ-A. When I took the test and looked at the supporting descriptions, I thought that it was pretty dead accurate to my personality, except there was one part, I think the A, that suggests that I am calm. In my mind, I am not calm. I just got irrationally annoyed because I accidentally erased this paragraph. Ask any customer service representative if I talk in a calm manner…..

But… I started to realize something. When I am talking to someone who I think is slacking, I tend to talk faster. I’m probably trying to get them to speed up and think and pay attention. And I normally talk fast, and loud. (I would not make a good librarian). So I give the appearance of not being calm- yet inside….I’m pretty much in control in there.

I also realized that I’m actually great in a crisis. When my friend K recently had to go to the Doctor, she asked me to come along. Now, I’m a nice person, but it wasn’t necessarily my bedside manner: it was because of my ability to listen openly and rationally. We got to the office and I pulled out my pen and notepad (and I had a spare pen in my bag) I had google open on my phone so I could check a definition at any point. My friend K looked at me and laughed- “of course you bring a notebook”. When she told our other friend that I was going to the Doctor with her my friend G responded- “Oh- of course you bring LA. She is the perfect person. She’ll know exactly what questions to ask.”

K was not the first person to ask me to accompany them to a Doctor’s visit. I know nothing about medicine or the like, but I do know how to listen, how to jot down what’s important, and how to think what the logical next question is.

When my daughter was about eighteen months old she got a nasty stomach bug. I realized that she was dehydrated and I called Doctor and he told me to get her to emergency room to het hydrated. Here’s the thing: I was not one of those Mother’s constantly on the phone with the Doctor. The Doctor knew that if I was calling, I wasn’t fooling. And then the nurse at the ER praised me for realizing quickly that my daughter was dehydrated- She said that most parents didn’t realize it right away and that made it worse.

I calmly sat with my daughter as the IV rehydrated her. Listened to the Doctors and Nurses. Kept my young daughter occupied. I did not fall apart. Even as my Mother and Mother in Law constantly called me in hysterics.

I didn’t break. I just did what needed to be done.

It’s funny how you can let people’s perceptions of you color your own judgement. Because I’m quick, I’ve been told I’m not calm. But guess what? I am actually quite calm. It takes a lot to break me. If I go out of control you know you’ve worn me down. My Husband was annoyed with me once (yes- only once….) and he was ranting and I was calmly listening to him, and it made him more mad that I was rational and not screaming. It also helped that what he was saying was ridiculous. How mad can you get if someone is just being ridiculous?

So there you go- though I might not appear calm, I actually am. Just like my house- when you enter you might think I’m not organized, but open up a cabinet or drawer, and there it is, all straight lines and order. I’ve built a good base.

 

33 thoughts on “Calm? Who Me?”

  3. I’m not calm because something is wrong with my computer or maybe it’s WP. I can’t scroll down! But anyway, I love your self-analysis posts. I’m the opposite. I appear calm and rarely get loud, but inside I’m a mess, lol! I do handle crises well though, and doctors seem to think I’m smart and they talk to me as such, so that is nice. You sound like a great friend. It’s really nice of you to do that for people. And the Reply button did not work either. ACK!

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  4. It’s funny how we see ourselves isn’t it? I enjoy doing those personality things on occasion. I either confirm things I already know about myself or find, with some deeper contemplation that traits I normally don’t attribute to myself really do apply on a basic level.

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  6. I am calm too. I was offered the receptionist position at my first job (even though I had trained to be a medical assistant) because it was a busy practice with six doctors and the office manager said I had such a calm demeanor that the pressure wouldn’t be too much for me. My family knows, though, that push me too far and look out. I do tend to raise my voice and appear to be shouting once that point has been reached. Nice post!

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  7. You are very introspective. Most people don’t give how they are a second thought. They just are, and make no apologies. I give you a lot of credit. And I’m sure that’s why your friends want you around when they see doctors. They know you’ve got a brain, and you use it. 🙂

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      2. True dat! Though I think I just made my friend mad cause she was complaining about her Mother’s Day and I added rationale to the conversation. She doesn’t like rational….

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  8. INF[sometimes T]P here. I’m calm and try to remain so despite the world attempting to drive me crazy. I’ve gotten to where I talk more slowly than I once did because I tire of repeating myself. We all do what works, eh?

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  10. I don’t think I’m calm, but if I were to describe myself with an adjective I would not even think of the word calm. I’d think of the word impatient. I have to learn how to be patient more, I think…is this connected to calm? Or not calm?

    lol

    I’ve never met you but I think you would be exactly as I imagine based on reading here and listening to you describe yourself. You’re like WYSIWYG. 🙂

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  11. It’s interesting to see how you analyzed the calmness aspect of your personality. I’ve not given it much thought, but based on your scenarios, I tend to react too quickly and agitated in upsetting situations. That is, when someone pushes my buttons. In a crisis, I am calm, but don’t think quickly enough to take charge or ask the right questions.

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  14. That was an interesting perspective and analysis. Organized people might seem hyper because they are so decisive and think quickly, but really they just know what they are doing.

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