I recently read a news story- let me preface this by saying I read one account, and if there are discrepancies I apologize. Apparently a bride threw a guest out of her wedding because he showed up in his military uniform with his medals. Her reasoning was somewhat along the lines of “It was a classy black tie event and he showed up in a uniform. How could he dress like that?” and followed it up with something like “Was he trying to take the attention away from me?” (and let’s not even go with that he was probably in his dress uniform)

I’m guessing you all know how I feel about this statement.

We have somehow misinterpreted manners, class and money. We have fallen into a Real Housewives/Kardashian thought pattern and we think that boorish behavior and flaunting of money is how to signal to the world that you’ve arrived.  We have equated that showing off how much money you have is directly proportional to how the world should treat you. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, and make everyone else green with envy. Wear fancy expensive clothes to show off how fancy and expensive you are. Treat everyone like you are better than them…

The Bride wanted to have a high class, expensive event. Formal wear was requested. But her behavior was anything but high class. Money and expensive things do not give you manners. They do not automatically make boorish behavior acceptable. Money does not equal manners.

Where did we lose the line on dignity? Or, did we never have dignity? Were we just better at hiding how ill mannered we were? When did we become so arrogant to think that nothing matters other than our own needs? When did we decide that it was OK to put someone down?  To not treat others with respect?

When are we going to learn that we all need to respect one another all the time?

55 thoughts on “Class”

  3. There have been examples of this throughout history. Good thing we have people like you who remember what societal standards there are. It’s too bad she didn’t have anyone to stand up to her at the wedding. :/

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      2. Apparently she thought he was being a show off, I just can’t imagine anyone telling to leave a wedding unless they were being moronic, which this guy wasnt

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  4. I didn’t see the story. If true, it’s quite disgusting. No one with any class would throw a guest out of her wedding even if that guest had missed the dress-code mark. In this case, of course, the guest hadn’t, as military dress uniform is considered formal. But there is a seed of doubt in my mind about the veracity of this story. Almost sounds like propaganda to demonstrate some kind of anti-military sentiment or worse, a stereotypical mysogynistic account of a so-called “Bridezilla.” Do you notice that we never read anything about men exhibiting horrible wedding-related behavior? Is it that they never do, or is our lens trained on catching women at their worst and calling them out on it?

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    1. I tried uploading the link but I have linking issues within my blog but if you google it it will come up,. Some people thought the guy was wrong to wear the uniform. I thought she was wrong and classless

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  5. Money and social status are NOT a measure of worth. The very fact that this bride reacted this way shows that she has no understanding of what marriage and love truly is. For her it is about pomp and circumstance and making sure she gets the attention. It was not until recent times that weddings became this fancy. It was some royalty (unfortunately I cannot remember who) who decided to dress all in white and have a big fancy event. After this everyone wanted weddings like that in order to appear more wealthy and it became “tradition”. Before this time you had the ceremony while dressed in normal clothes and then there may be a party afterwards. It was about the relationship and partnership, not the show of a fancy event. I am happy to see that this is turning around. I have heard of many couples having small ceremonies with small parties. My son was married this past October in a park. It was small, casual and unpretentious. This summer family and friends will gather for a party to celebrate their wedding in the same park. Again, nothing fancy. Just a large picnic party in a park. The importance is not on that day but the future of the partnership. As for this man wearing his uniform….good for him!!!! He more than earned the right to wear it whenever and wherever he damn well pleases.

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    1. I’m all about the small ceremony. Why these things have become extravaganzas is beyond me. It’s supposed to be about marriage not a party. We’ve forgotten that too

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  6. Your last question is one I ask all the time!! When have we got so disrespectful! It really is sad! What that bride did was absolutely crazy!! If I had been a guest I would have thrown myself out after seeing her throw him out!

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      1. Nope, I don’t get that one. I am curious too for you invite your guests to your wedding. So either he was a friend of hers or the groom’s or a friend that came with her friend or her groom’s friend. Sooo really that is how you treat your friend??? Hope he grabbed his gift on the way out!!

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      4. My guess is not well, because this story came to light because she put something on reddit asking if she was an asshole

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  7. Times have changed unfortunately in this era of Kardashian media frenzy. Role models have become a popularity contest with nothing behind the facade. It’s frankly disturbing to me. I hope the tide eventually changes to ground the population in looking up to people who are real and not fake, who stand for something positive and who have integrity, class and professionalism (plus knowledge). What’s lacking is kindness, love and truth. Good post LA!

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  8. How sad. We were recently at two weddings, both couples in their early 30’s, one down to earth – literally at a CuriOdyssey where there were animals to watch and the wedding was in the Butterfly Garden – and one semi-formal in a town an hour and a half away in a room that was open on 2 sides so it was freezing cold. The first one had food served family style from big plates that we passed around the table and the food was something we recognized and the second had food that was exotic and didn’t taste good. At the first wedding there was a DJ and people were dancing all night and the second wedding had a 3 piece I don’t know what you would call them who played background music. The bride of the semi-formal wedding told her sister on the night before the wedding that she was not welcome for some ridiculous reason. Guess at which wedding we had more fun? I think keeping up with the Kardashians is way harder than keeping up with the Jones’ and the lack of class is disgusting.

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  9. It sounded more like a Bridezilla moment “It’s my day and everyone bow to me”. She showed less class than she purported having because she was having a black tie event. I have seen some people show up at a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt, my god the man was showing respect and she was just too stupid to know it. There are people that think everything is about them and there have always been people like this, but I think now with social media etc we see more of it and that type of person wants the attention it brings.

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  12. Great post- I missed this story… but it is definitely something that would fuel my emotions!! The lack of class , and down right disrespectful tactic of throwing the guest out….just sickens me to see the level of absurdity. I get a bride wanting to be the ‘star of the day’…. but this just goes to show that people put too much emphasis on impressing others. Manners and class and dignity obviously can’t be bought with any amount of money….

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  13. I’m flabbergasted!!! Somehow I haven’t heard of it yet, and I’m just— I have no words. If I start spewing now, I won’t stop. Can’t believe this though… despite not being surprised by it. 🙄

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  14. Not the sort of story I’m likely to come across normally. My father always looked so formal in his dress uniform. I can’t imagine someone thinking it otherwise. And really, throwing anyone out of a wedding for anything other than criminal behavior is just plain rude.

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  15. Social media and the new crop of non-celebrity celebrities have given some folks a warped vision of social graces. Well, except one can’t really use the word graces for what’s going on in these cases.

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