I looked over all my 2019 goals last night and saw that I am actually doing well. I’m working on my novel, being creative and actively thinking about my empty nest hood. But I realize there is one place I am actually reverting, and I’m not sure how to fix it. How do I learn to deal with people who annoy me?
So seriously: how do I learn to deal with people who annoy me?
The other day someone said something to me and it just pissed me off: I’m still festering about it. Part of me wanted to say “Oh my God you’re a complete ass.” But I didn’t. I opened my mouth to catch a fly and then shut it. I swallowed all the words that were about to stream forth. This was a social situation. This wasn’t a place to go crazy. Yet….yet…this person had basically said that my values were wrong on something (and no- not political- this was actually worse- attacking a way of life and how people choose to do things).
I’m still mad about what was said. I’m still replaying it in my head. I can’t let it go.
So what do I do?
What do you do when someone tells you what you’re doing is basically stupid (sorry- stupid is the wrong word, but I’m at a loss to think of a better way to describe it- see- that’s how upsetting it is- I can’t think of the right word), even though it is not morally wrong, or spiritually wrong, or wrong in any of the ways you would feel good about condemning?
Do you stop seeing someone socially if they think there is something lacking in your character?
What if you think that the person is acting this way towards you because of envy or jealousy? What if part of you thinks the other person is wrong? What if you think the way they’re acting is ridiculous, yet your social cues and long forgotten manners are telling you not to say something snarky? How do you reconcile with yourself that some things are better off left unsaid?
I am 54 years old, and yet I can’t figure out how to turn the other cheek without feeling I’m letting myself down.
Part of me appreciates that people can speak with candor, to be honest in their feelings about something. But…what if that honesty feels like an attack? What if you’re not sure about the motivation of the honesty? It’s times like this when I think that maybe honesty is not the best policy? What if the honesty is driven by something else?
So….it’s March and I have the same issue I had in January. People annoy me and I can’t stop replaying the tune in my head- the ultimate earworm. At points like this, I feel that a cabin on top of a hill miles away from anyone will be the only solution.
(I must add a disclaimer- my writing friends told me they didn’t like the way a scene was going in my book- I’m making sure they know that that is not the instance I’m referring to. I’m 100% glad they told me the scene wasn’t working- that’s healthy critique based on logic and continuity. The incident to which I refer is totally different)