The whole reason I really started overthinking this topic was due to an article I read talking about how maybe you can determine compatibility based on your type. I’m always trying to find a reason, the why, so this was an avenue I wanted to travel down for just a little while. So what have I seen?
My Husband is an ISFJ-A, so we are just separated by one letter. I was actually surprised that my husband registered as an introvert. He really thrives on being around others, and likes to surround himself with people. He does not do well by himself. The fact that he presents as an extrovert is probably the most difficult hill our relationship has to weather because I’m much more of a loner. Not surprisingly, when I looked at his breakdown, he was 51%in/49% ex- . Hmmmm.
Outside of the whole he wants people I don’t thing, our relationship is fairly calm. We don’t have big fights, we get along reasonably well. Could it be because we our types are so similar? Because we think the same way about most things? Is our one real opposite the most we need for “opposites attract”? I’m a thinker (and I think I was over 70% thinker) and he’s a feeler- would we continually fight if we both were too logical in our arguments? Or both too feeling?
Now according to http://www.thepersonalitypage.com the perfect partner for an ISTJ would be an ESFP. Why? Apparently, the thing I really need is a partner who is an extrovert. The natural traits of an ISTJ lead me to be stingy showing feelings (true). They tend to be more concerned with the physical in regards to intimacy, as opposed to the, you know, intimacy (alas, also true) And ISTJ’s are very respectful of the feelings of others, so would thrive with a feeling partner.
Logically, this all makes sense to me. Theoretically, this personality type would be a great match. But we all know that relationships are much more than a match on paper. Most people (apparently not me) have feelings. And feelings are the most important thing in a relationship. But- I am going to overthink this for a bit.
Now what about parenting? My daughter is exactly the same as me- ISTJ-A. Could the reason I have had a really easy time parenting (knock wood because she doesn’t leave the house for five months) be because we are the same personality? Do I parent her as I would react in a certain situation and she intrinsically gets it because she thinks the same way? I mean, I would like to say that I am a perfect parent, but I know I’m not. But…the parenting road has been smooth…I don’t know. I have to at least consider it.
So what does this all mean? I have no idea. But I will say that I am learning a lot about myself during this process. I am starting to guess the types of those around me, and why I’m attracted, or repelled by certain personalities. Do I think that this should be part of a dating profile? No. Not at all. But I would be interested in seeing the results of the people I consider to be happily married/partnered. I would like to see how they balance one another out.
Time to overthink some more…