I recently asked a friend how he knew he was in love with his person. The answer was simple:
“I just know.” he said.
“But don’t you want to know why?” I badgered
“Why? Does it matter why? I just know it like I know any absolute in my life. I know I’m in love.”
And many of my friends answered the same way. They don’t know what it is, but they know it when they see it, they know it when they feel it.
I’m trying to be practical with regards to love- trying to find the algorithm and it just doesn’t exist. Dating websites might find you someone compatible based on your likes and dislikes, but they can’t predict love. A computer can’t just know. And for the second time in two days I feel myself being compared to a cyborg. Because. I. Want. To. Know. LA wants the formula.
Good luck with that.
Now let’s talk about Valentine’s Day. I know there’s a lot of haters out there- people who can’t stand Valentine’s. And I get this: Hallmark holiday and all. Pushes love in your face. Makes singles feel bad. Etc. Etc.
What’s wrong with a day that celebrates love? We still have April Fool’s on the calendar. So- it’s ok to have a day to prank or be mean to someone, and then we say “April Fools” and all is forgiven? Why is that OK and Valentine’s not?
I got an 8 am group text from one of my best friends yesterday with the simple words: Happy Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t romantic, but it was from the heart. it solidified the bonds of friendship that we share. What’s wrong with that…reminding the people that you love that you love them?
And while we’re talking about February 14: I had an observation yesterday: My friend who has the strongest marriage I know received a bouquet from her Hubby. Sweet. She also received one from her daughter. See, that’s love too.
My other friends and family to receive Valentine’s: all on second marriages or the relationship equivalent. Why do I point this out? Because maybe it’s silly to celebrate Valentine’s, but maybe it’s worse not to. Maybe it’s not about the actual day, but maybe it’s about the actual feelings.
Don’t get lazy about showing the person that you love that you love them.
It doesn’t have to be flowers or candy or hiring a skywriter. But is does mean telling your partner early and often how you feel about them. Maybe you do “just know” you’re in love, but you need to make it evident to your person in whatever way you best show love.
Make the effort. Show the love.
If you love someone it’s worth the effort.
Because it just is.