Did the title draw you in?

Sucker.

Because I am only slightly more mindful and meditative then when I started the week.  I am still a work in progress.  As always. I have no answers.  I only have theories.  So the title should be how to theoretically become a more mindful meditative person.

You may have noticed that I am formatting my blogs a little differently now. I am attempting to have theme weeks, where I sort of, kind of cover the same topic for five days straight. I used to jump around from topic to topic, writing quickly, writing on the fly…these are all fine, but….Being more mindful means thinking about things in different ways.  It means allowing one days ideas to flow through to the next: to use each blog as a stepping stone. This week I tackled mindfulness from the different ways that my mind perceives it. I am trying to slow down a little and focus on the topic at hand.

Slow down.

Focus.

I don’t think it’s possible to be mindful if you don’t focus. You have to think about what you are doing.  Respect the moment and concentrate on the task at hand- which means slow down.

Intention.

I need to live my life more intentionally.  Which is another way of saying focus.  Why, what, how…Pay attention to what I’m doing.

Balance.

Here’s the most important word: what happens if there is too much weight on one side of a see saw? It tips to one side- the other side doesn’t have a fighting chance. You can’t live to the extreme in anything- you have to know how to find the right proportions. (and you thought all that math you learned in school was for nothing- see- you need it to be an adult) It’s figuring out how to find time for myself, and my husband and my daughter and my parents and my friends and my pets and the house and writing….you get the idea. Each area of your life must be attended to.  I think I get so wrapped up in other things I forget to take time and be thoughtful with myself.  And it I’m not thoughtful with myself, I get lost.

I don’t want to be lost.

I want to be present.

How hard is it to be present? Focused? Intentional? Balanced?

Really hard.

I went to the movies with a friend yesterday.  When I got to the theater the line was really long.  And sloooooooow. One cashier and a line of people that needed to pick seats. A line of people who are really picky about which seat they wanted.  Really.  Picky. So as I stood on the line, I opened up my Fandango app, paid the surcharge, and went into the theater.  I was impatient. (I also wanted to use the bathroom before the three hour film began) Was this a good way to be more mindful? I don’t know.  Probably not.

As I was writing this post, my Husband was very needy. He actually said “I need attention.” OK- I know he is like this.  He’s not changing. I know I need to change my reaction to it. But….it’s hard to focus when someone is whining….

I have to learn how to gauge my actions and reactions.  I need to not let situations bother me.

Good luck with that.

But I am going to try.