On the road to mindfulness I discovered an unexpected roadblock: my family. As often the case, husband and daughter just insert themselves into my life. They are both the reason I need to be mindful, and the obstacle blocking my enlightenment.
Ok. Not really. I think you all know that I am stubborn enough to get down to doing whatever I need to do. But that doesn’t mean it’s always an easy route. And sometimes my family…
Husband is a rusher. He never takes the time to savor anything. His usual choice of phrase it “What’s the ETA?” In the morning he is often quoted as saying “How long do you need?” He has an almost pathological need to be first- if something opens at 9am he wants to be there at 859 to help unlock the door. Now, while I know that sometimes you need to be someplace at a certain time, he could do this to us on a day where we have nothing in store. On Sunday mornings I like to go to a body conditioning class. Class is at 915, hour long, home by 1030- and it takes me an hour to get ready. (you had to know I know exactly how long it takes me to get ready) Even if we have nothing to do on a Sunday, he will get irritated that we’re not “starting” our day till 1130. (those of you who know me know that I’ve probably done at least three other things on any Sunday morning including laundry)
It’s hard to be mindful when someone is rushing you.
And being a parent….Is there anything worse for your piece of mind than being a parent? Whenever I get almost to a point of being chill (remember I said almost- we know I’m never actually chill) in pops the child with some request. Can you…will you…would you…please…I need….come here….The language of a child is anti mindfulness…they will not let your mind rest. And even when they’re not physically there, how often do you think about them?
Claudette wrote a post the other day about her wish to be alone sometimes. I was right there with her building a playhouse for one in my imagination. There was an episode of Big Bang earlier this season where Bernadette actually starts hanging out in her kids playhouse in the backyard because the Mom/Wife/Employee badge was becoming more of a weight around her psyche. How can you be mindful if the weight of the household and world is on your shoulders?
(on a funny note- as I was halfway through writing this post my Husband started hounding me to help him…I don’t know what I was thinking- how can he possibly pick out a shirt to go with his grey, black or navy slacks…..)
It’s nice to be needed, but those who are needed need time to get their head together. I realize that I control my own destiny, but my present includes other people. I’m trying to find the balance (there’s that word again) between helping my family and helping myself. We must coexist, but it’s often easier said than done. Hoping to come up with some thoughts on how to actually accomplish this. I like a good goal…