Spoiler alert: I did not learn to let it go. After a week of self reflection I have more questions than answers. I’m even beginning to question if letting things go is the right approach…
Here’s some random observations, in no particular order:
- The people I have had confrontations with, that I can’t get past, are all people I know via my Husband: a friend, a friend’s spouse, a relative. I can’t help but think that as these are people I would never see if not for my Husband, I can’t get past issues because I do not think positively of these people in general because we do not share the same value system. So the question becomes, how do I avoid confrontation with the people in my life that fall into this category? I recently read something about the Grey method, (which is a sort of ignoring thesis) and I’m going to study up on it and see if I can apply it to these situations.
- I need to set better boundaries with my Husband and Daughter. I can let things slide, but I have to learn to rationally and calmly define my expectations about what really matters to me, and make sure that the communication is clear with them.
- I have very few people in my life that I can be completely open with. Thankful for them, because it’s great to just be able to totally be able to be myself with no holds barred. It’s freeing.
- I am much better at letting things go with the people that mean the most to me. I guess with my close friends their friendship is more important than something trivial. I might be annoyed for a little bit, but I rationally get over it. I know I’ve been annoyed by my closest friends, but I can’t actually think of something that they did wrong, so I obviously can get past things and forget.
- How do I get over things? I concentrate on what the bigger picture is. How much is something going to matter over time? Will there be lasting consequences to the behavior? Will something set a bad precedent. It all comes down to picking which battles are worth fighting.
- When someone is being irrational, walk away. You can’t reason with someone who does not want to listen.
- Try to limit time with people I know are going to try my patience.
- Stick to chit chat with people that I do not consider my inner circle. The aggravation is just not worth my time and energy.
- Avoid people in general.
- Cherish the people really close to me.
Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 
Sounds about right, especially #9. 😀
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😉
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Great list! You can’t change people. You can only change yourself and how you view those relationships that try your patience.
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Exactly!
,
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I think I’m going to print this out and memorize it. I have trouble with boundaries. I let people take advantage of me then I silently seethe.
On the other hand, in some situations, I have to remind myself that if it will be a funny story later, it’s probably not as bad as all that.
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I try to remember that I can blog about these things…but yeah….
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LOL #1 made me immediately think that if all these people who irritate you most are friends of your husband’s maybe you should get rid of the husband – sorry, that’s not really funny but that’s what I thought of. Better to use the Gray method instead, and 6 – 10.
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Oh…I think that’s a viable option!
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#9 is words to live by!
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😉😉
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I like No. 9 too…..sometimes it is just too peopley out there! But then I am an introvert and we can only handle people in small doses…
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Right! My friend says the goal is to live far away from people
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Wow, I can so relate to this post and number 1 on your list. I am dealing with exactly the same thing, and letting go just does not seem to quite fit in these circumstances, especially when there are people who are just going to be in your life whether you want them there or not. So, I have definitely put 6, 7, and 8 into practice, but now I am working on the guilt I feel for not trying harder to form a positive relationship. People!
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I just can’t figure out how to handle the people that you need to see but don’t want to. Lots of deep breaths or alcohol….
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I use both!
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😀😀
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Sympathise with number 5. Some things are hard to get past, but we make ourselves suffer by not doing so.
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True!
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I think your list hits the nail on the head. Life is too short to spend it with people with negative vibes. It’s YOUR life after all,
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I just need to remember that!
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Interestingly, your post could’ve been written by my boyfriend. He’s an introvert, he sees things (and people in particular) in black & white terms, whereas I’m all about the shades of grey (not in a *that* book kind of way though 😀 ). I’m generally very open, easy-going and accepting of people, such that many of the things on your to-do list, are things I practice naturally. Even so, a couple of points really resonated.
Boundaries being the first – such a huge problem in my life, as I’ve only recently understood. Learning how to build boundaries in your 60s isn’t easy, but is doubtless worthwhile. After reading your goals, I went to look up the gray rock method. I’ll be doing a lot more research, but I can already see the value in it. Having never felt the need to hide anything about myself who has practicised the open book philisophy, I can see that some people do use what you tell them against you. So, some of that gray rock methodology will be practised with those people who regularly leach my energy. Thanks LA! 🙂
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It’s so true. I really need to learn to ignore the people purposely trying to get under my skin!!
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