I have trouble letting things go. Except with my Husband and Daughter. When it comes to life in my apartment, I can really be a duck- I let things roll off my back. With my immediate family I am able to pick which battles I choose to fight. I look at the big picture and I ascertain if a particular situation is worth pursuing.
And this has worked well.
Except when it doesn’t.
As the peacemaker I talk my daughter down when she’s crazy. I calmly let my Husband rant at me when he’s on a roll. When they are fighting I mediate: I remind each of them that something is a one off (which it usually is) and get them to see the other point of view. And this makes it a fairly harmonious home. Which is what I want: I want to limit the amount of stress I experience on a day to day basis, and having a family that gets along goes a long way towards this.
So what’s the problem?
Well, I let a lot of things slide. In fact, I let most things slide. So much so, that when I put my foot down about something, no one really pays attention. Or they get really angry. Passive aggressiveness. Laziness.
My Daughter is a great kid and rarely gives me grief. But she’s not great at helping around the house, And I let it slide because it’s such a small thing. But…I have a cleaning woman a few times a month, and I don’t have her clean my daughters room. Yesterday, my daughter said to me “Can you have the cleaning person clean the toothbrush holder?” And I went crazy. I mean- my daughter doesn’t even need to clean it: it can go in the dishwasher.
My Husband. Same idea. I let things slide, but then I find an issue to plant my flag on, and he gets annoyed. He expects me to back down, because I always back down, because I’m always thinking big picture. I try not to worry about the small things.
The small things add up though.
So how do you balance out letting things go, but not getting taken advantage of?