This week I’ve been examining situations that I’ve been recently involved in, and how I’m handling them.  I am trying to be less angry, more tolerant, and let go of things.

Ha.

My Father in law was over last month.  We were having a conversation (OK- I was trying to talk about a subject that he brought up.  He was spouting things he’d heard on the news that did not make any sense in the context to which he was speaking)

He mentioned a story that had been on the news (quasi political) and I gave my opinion. He thought my opinion was ridiculous. I made clear, lucid points.  He tried to argue but failed.

Fine.

A week or so later, my Husband was on the phone with him.  FIL said to him “Wow.  Your wife has certainly become a _____________ .  How can you deal with her?”

Label. He labeled me.  (for the record, a label is when someone groups you into a category based on something you say.  Name calling is specifically being called a name)

Needless to say, I was pissed off.  First, I had totally forgotten about the incident, but FIL was still seething enough to talk to my husband about it. Second, did my Husband need to relate the story to me? I’m iffy on this: on one hand I like when my Husband is open with me, while on the other hand, his telling me only made me mad.

I’m still annoyed.

I know that being annoyed about this incident is not good.  I know I’m wasting precious emotional energy on something stupid.  Rationally I know these things.  But…

I’m having trouble getting past incidents when someone has really pushed my buttons. I need to come up with some sort of ritual to practice when I get into a situation where I’m irrationally perturbed, because it doesn’t  appear as if people are going to get easier to deal with.

Stay tuned…

 

42 thoughts on “People That Annoy Me: Part 3”

  1. LA,

    Did you tell your husband you were annoyed about this and the reasons why? It is reminiscent of when I was married and my MIL expressed concern . . no check that, accused me of having an affair with one of my female friends. She told my wife who relayed the story to me. My wife thought it was hilarious because, well, she knew it was BS. But I was furious. I was pissed at her for not telling her mother the what’s what. I felt I needed to be defended by the person I trusted most.

    Anyway, I do relate to that feeling. Sorry for the ramble.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Ramble on. That’s what we’re here for. Well, as far as I know, my husband defended me (because my fil was so wrong on everything about this topic) and he knew my fil was being an ass. But as my fil continually does annoying things, I don’t know what’s going to happen

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. That IS annoying.
        And I had to chuckle/cringe when you were talking about how you were discussing something and your fil was shooting back with stuff he’d seen on TV that had zero context. Ugh! So true though . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yikes! And yes, certain family members who shall remain nameless (LOL) do that! They recite some study or poll as if gospel. Or they speak in those cable TV catch phrases? Hell, if I hear ONE more person say “Gin up” . . Imma blow!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband once felt the need to be my apologist when someone in his family had an issue with my opinions. He’d asked me to “tone it down.” Now, I don’t get angry often, but that really got my goat. I told him if anyone had a problem with me and went through him to address it, that made them cowardly. I told him to direct all further complaints to me. Guess what? I’ve heard nothing. They thought the man of the family would be able to squash the little lady’s opinions. Our family doesn’t operate that way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Go sit and watch some ducks. xx They stick their heads under water, but when they come up they look dry as a bone. Their feathers are oily and the water, (people’s words), just rolls off of them. Grow some duck feathers darling. xxx

        Liked by 2 people

  8. No they definitely will not get easier to deal with. Wish I could suggest something but hope you find a way and share it with us (just to help the rest of us you understand). I have stopped talking about politics to anyone. At one time differences we’re tolerated, respected, whatever ..now it has become a source of anger, and hate. Society right now is definitely not conducive to embracing differing opinions. I wonder why?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I won’t talk politics, so these issues were exactly political, but I guess everything has become political now. There’s us and them….in some minds anyway. We need to get back to we….

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Wow, you seem to be dealing with you share of difficult situations/encounters lately. It seems to go like this for me sometimes, and then recedes. Don’t let the idiots of the world get you down. Be true to yourself, and you’ll be OK.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I think the holidays force me into more social situations, so I’m exposed to more, but I think I always encounter difficult people. I just find as I get older I’m more annoyed by it. Plus, I’m finding it’s becoming an us vs them kind of world, and people are pretty much offended by whatever you say. But I can’t change others, only myself, so I’m working on how I deal with it

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. I totally relate to your issue. I am the same when i think someone treats me unfairly or unreasonably. Your post has made me think about this, which is good. Thank you. I think one’s response might differ depending on who upsets. I used to clash with my parents, especially mum who had a sharp tongue, bless her. As they aged I said, don’t rise to it. Any conversation might be the last. It worked. With others, it depends. Are they a close friend or not? More leeway for a friend than a passing acquaintance. Then I think I need to chew over comments a bit. Am I right to be wound up? Can I live with my response? Was it reasonable? After that, if I keep going over and over, I have to say – move on. I am going to try this for myself. Last year I said – stop comparing and beating yourself up. I have. It works. I will try the “move on” thing for myself on this issue. Hope you find something for yourself

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s