I won’t keep you in suspense: my daughter got deferred from her college of choice. Deferred meaning that she is still in the running but will not find out her fate till approximately March 29.

She’s taking the news better than I am though. I began to have a panic attack at about 6:45, fifteen minutes before the emails would be sent out.  At 6:45 my daughter was working the lights at her schools Winter Concert- she didn’t check her portal till 7:30. (which was harrowing on my nerves- just ask my friend who was texting me during those forty five minutes when I was laying on my couch in agony.)

Alas- the news for the rest of her classmates went something like this:

36 on ACT- Deferred

Spent summers doing research at elite science school-  Deferred

Valedictorian- Deferred

All 5’s on AP exams- Deferred

Student Council President- Denied

Legacy- Deferred

Won Nobel Prize- Deferred (OK- I’m kidding on that one, but you get the idea)

And my Daughter, the rest of her classmates: they understand the risk of applying to highly selective schools.  They realize that by applying ED or EA restrictive they are limiting their chances to get into other schools.  They are smart enough to know what 13% acceptance rate means. They are smart enough to know that they have chosen one school above all others.

Yet they go for it anyway.

And this weekend, instead of going to see Holiday decorations like we had planned, my Daughter will be dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s on the rest of her applications (which are 99% completed) and hitting the button on the computer that simply states “Submit Application”. But she also knows that the remaining schools on her list are now even more difficult to get into, because they already filled many of their spots.  And they now know that they are second choice. Or third choice.  Or…

Some of you are thinking; Boo hoo- they didn’t get into the college they wanted. And I get that thought: in the scheme of all the things that could go wrong, really, that’s a blip.

But it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.

So this deferment is just another item to the list of things that didn’t go her way.  And there will be many more of these to follow. And hopefully she will always have the strength to be a little sad, but just pick herself up and dust herself off and get on with it.

And I get to proofread more ^&%$# essays…..

57 thoughts on “The One With The College Letter”

  1. Oh I felt your agony as you sat waiting to hear from your daughter! I would have been the same way!! Glad your daughter is holding up and pressing on, for you are right, this is a part of life that unfortunately keeps happening!! I am hoping along with you that March 29th will bring wonderful news and perhaps even earlier then that! 🙂

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  2. I can understand this. I lost the course I wanted by a single number… I still remember how I felt… I hope your daughter finds the strength to move forward… She will, she is your daughter… It just might take some time.
    I hope she gets into the college of her choice… Luckily we don’t have to wait here months to know, the admissions get done in 3 weeks or so

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      1. I wish I could say I can imagine. But I really don’t want to go back in time and remember the stress of getting into medicine… All my friends were in college and I was at home… Now apparently the admissions are much faster for kids here

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  5. Hold steady dear LA. I know you’re supportive of her and that’s the best part. I hope it all works out for her…and it will in whatever way it’s supposed to, but that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Big hugs…she’s amazing and so are you!

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  8. I read something this morning that I thought was really cool. This is what I read: no means next opportunity. It’s a different way to look at no. I love the next opportunity. Maybe instead of making a list of choices it could be a list of opportunities.

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    1. Not everyone has this stress. But my kid goes to school at stress central, and these kids pick schools where their chance of acceptance is practically single digits….

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  14. It’s been a long busy day and I’m just now getting around to seeing this but I was wondering because I think the school your daughter was hoping for is my alma mater. Sorry she didn’t get the news she wanted, but honestly I feel worse for you because in my experience, this stuff bothered me more than my kids.
    Sounds like she’s in good company.

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    1. No. She didn’t choose that one (which is her second choice but now knows her chances are slim cause she didn’t Ed, but one of her good friends did get it so yay on that) but she went with a different ivy gated schooling the northeast….

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      2. No unfortunately because her school was ea restrictive meaning she’s only allowed to apply to one other state school early, and her state school choice doesn’t give results till late January. It’s ridiculous.

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      4. Yeah….I hate that she won’t know till January. Unfortunately she’s applying to a really difficult out of state state school, so I fear a similar outcome…

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  15. It’s too bad this process has been made so stressful for everyone. I’m sure she’ll do fine wherever she ends up. I hope she will not pass up opportunities to enjoy her senior year instead of always being “on.”

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  17. What is meant to be will be….she’s done all she can. When I got into my (medical profession) school the odds were only 15% of being accepted, and I admit I have had a good career for 35 years. But my second choice was journalism and sometimes I think I might have had a totally different life if I had been rejected from my first choice!

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  18. I’m so sorry! And I do understand how you feel. Honestly, I think these things are harder on the parents than they are on the kids, since it’s so hard to watch our kids struggle. I do think everything will work out in the end, but that doesn’t make the present less hard, I know.

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  19. I’ve been off WordPress for a while, needed a break. Just logged in and saw your message. HANG IN THERE… this is a painful process, but end result will be that your daughter will go to the school she was “meant” to go to.

    There is a country song that says, “Lord, thank you for not giving me what I wanted/wished for,” something like that. Sometimes where we “think” we want to be is not where our destiny needs to take us. LIFE – full of twists and turns. Wishing you well.

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