I won’t keep you in suspense: my daughter got deferred from her college of choice. Deferred meaning that she is still in the running but will not find out her fate till approximately March 29.
She’s taking the news better than I am though. I began to have a panic attack at about 6:45, fifteen minutes before the emails would be sent out. At 6:45 my daughter was working the lights at her schools Winter Concert- she didn’t check her portal till 7:30. (which was harrowing on my nerves- just ask my friend who was texting me during those forty five minutes when I was laying on my couch in agony.)
Alas- the news for the rest of her classmates went something like this:
36 on ACT- Deferred
Spent summers doing research at elite science school- Deferred
Valedictorian- Deferred
All 5’s on AP exams- Deferred
Student Council President- Denied
Legacy- Deferred
Won Nobel Prize- Deferred (OK- I’m kidding on that one, but you get the idea)
And my Daughter, the rest of her classmates: they understand the risk of applying to highly selective schools. They realize that by applying ED or EA restrictive they are limiting their chances to get into other schools. They are smart enough to know what 13% acceptance rate means. They are smart enough to know that they have chosen one school above all others.
Yet they go for it anyway.
And this weekend, instead of going to see Holiday decorations like we had planned, my Daughter will be dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s on the rest of her applications (which are 99% completed) and hitting the button on the computer that simply states “Submit Application”. But she also knows that the remaining schools on her list are now even more difficult to get into, because they already filled many of their spots. And they now know that they are second choice. Or third choice. Or…
Some of you are thinking; Boo hoo- they didn’t get into the college they wanted. And I get that thought: in the scheme of all the things that could go wrong, really, that’s a blip.
But it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.
So this deferment is just another item to the list of things that didn’t go her way. And there will be many more of these to follow. And hopefully she will always have the strength to be a little sad, but just pick herself up and dust herself off and get on with it.
And I get to proofread more ^&%$# essays…..
Oh I felt your agony as you sat waiting to hear from your daughter! I would have been the same way!! Glad your daughter is holding up and pressing on, for you are right, this is a part of life that unfortunately keeps happening!! I am hoping along with you that March 29th will bring wonderful news and perhaps even earlier then that! 🙂
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Thank you! Here’s hoping!
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You are welcome and one can always HOPE!
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I can understand this. I lost the course I wanted by a single number… I still remember how I felt… I hope your daughter finds the strength to move forward… She will, she is your daughter… It just might take some time.
I hope she gets into the college of her choice… Luckily we don’t have to wait here months to know, the admissions get done in 3 weeks or so
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Oh that’s so much easier! I think she’s going to be a big ball of stress till the end of March. So much for enjoying senior year….
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I wish I could say I can imagine. But I really don’t want to go back in time and remember the stress of getting into medicine… All my friends were in college and I was at home… Now apparently the admissions are much faster for kids here
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It’s just a nightmare for kids in process
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And their mothers
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Exactly. I’m the one who might not survive this.
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I remember those days. Fingers crossed and sending good thoughts for March (or sooner!)
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Thank you!! Will take all good thoughts!M
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Nothing about parenting is easy! Good luck. You will both survive… what did her dad say?
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He’s pretty bummed too. It’s hard to see your kid work so hard for something and not get it. But we get through…
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Hold steady dear LA. I know you’re supportive of her and that’s the best part. I hope it all works out for her…and it will in whatever way it’s supposed to, but that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Big hugs…she’s amazing and so are you!
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Thank you! It will work out because she’s a fighter, but today sucks just a little bit
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I understand…I hope it gets better for you both…xo
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Thank you!
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Bless you, I feel for you x
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Thank you!
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And honestly, none of us always get exactly what we want. She’s got a good head start on learning how to deal with that. Plus, deferred isn’t the end. It’s a maybe, right?
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It’s a maybe. It means she’s qualified and meets there search terms…but you know…I know she’ll survive but it’s ehhhh….
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She’s going to do well regardless of where she goes.
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That’s my solace. She’s a tough strong kid.
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I read something this morning that I thought was really cool. This is what I read: no means next opportunity. It’s a different way to look at no. I love the next opportunity. Maybe instead of making a list of choices it could be a list of opportunities.
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Oh…she’s back on the horse, getting ready to send out the next bunch of applications! There’s always something!
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I never endured this kind of stress with colleges. I didn’t actually get into school until I was the Air Force and I attended one of the universities on base.
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Not everyone has this stress. But my kid goes to school at stress central, and these kids pick schools where their chance of acceptance is practically single digits….
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Good luck, it’s a tough time for the whole family.
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Thanks! We just keep going
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This is a process of getting ready for the next phase in life and I wish her the best.
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Thanks. She’s surviving!
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Yes, we have to let them make their own choices don’t we… even though we then have to help them deal with the consequences…
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Yup!!
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You and that kid are pretty awesome, and I’m sending good juju your way
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Thank you! She’s handling it well given the level of disappointment. Another life lesson
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It’s been a long busy day and I’m just now getting around to seeing this but I was wondering because I think the school your daughter was hoping for is my alma mater. Sorry she didn’t get the news she wanted, but honestly I feel worse for you because in my experience, this stuff bothered me more than my kids.
Sounds like she’s in good company.
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No. She didn’t choose that one (which is her second choice but now knows her chances are slim cause she didn’t Ed, but one of her good friends did get it so yay on that) but she went with a different ivy gated schooling the northeast….
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Wishing her the best, and you too of course. It’s such a challenging time. Does she have any yeses yet?
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No unfortunately because her school was ea restrictive meaning she’s only allowed to apply to one other state school early, and her state school choice doesn’t give results till late January. It’s ridiculous.
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Ugh. My daughter who applied early and was deferred heard from the state school of her choice the following day, so it was more concentrated.
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Yeah….I hate that she won’t know till January. Unfortunately she’s applying to a really difficult out of state state school, so I fear a similar outcome…
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Ugh. Fingers crossed.
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Thank you!!
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It’s too bad this process has been made so stressful for everyone. I’m sure she’ll do fine wherever she ends up. I hope she will not pass up opportunities to enjoy her senior year instead of always being “on.”
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They’re going to Aruba for spring break, so I’m guessing they’ll end up ok!
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Sending good vibes from Australia…it is such a different process in the US.
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Thank you! It’s crazy!
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What is meant to be will be….she’s done all she can. When I got into my (medical profession) school the odds were only 15% of being accepted, and I admit I have had a good career for 35 years. But my second choice was journalism and sometimes I think I might have had a totally different life if I had been rejected from my first choice!
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She’ll survive…because that’s what she does. But it would have been nice
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I’m so sorry! And I do understand how you feel. Honestly, I think these things are harder on the parents than they are on the kids, since it’s so hard to watch our kids struggle. I do think everything will work out in the end, but that doesn’t make the present less hard, I know.
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Thanks! She’s strong and handling it quite well considering….and she’s putting the finishing touches on the rest of the applications
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I’ve been off WordPress for a while, needed a break. Just logged in and saw your message. HANG IN THERE… this is a painful process, but end result will be that your daughter will go to the school she was “meant” to go to.
There is a country song that says, “Lord, thank you for not giving me what I wanted/wished for,” something like that. Sometimes where we “think” we want to be is not where our destiny needs to take us. LIFE – full of twists and turns. Wishing you well.
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Thank you! She’s handling it really well. I’m going to write a follow up at some point this week
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You and she are strong, but being deferred still stings. Good luck!
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Thanks!
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I didn’t get into my college of choice, but I’m so happy where I am now. I like to think everything happens for a reason! I wish your daughter the best of luck, trust the process, worked for me! 🙂
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Thanks!
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