I was at a tea society event the other day. It was held at the Jo Malone counter of the last great department store- Bergdorf Goodman. The store is the epitome of grace and class and reminders of what shopping used to be like. We stood in the newly renovated section of the cosmetics department, sipping Palais du Tea blends, eating little triangles of bread, sans crust, filled with light smatterings of cream cheese, chicken salad and smoked salmon. And there were macarons of course.

As we waited for our complimentary hand massages and consultation to find our signature scent blend (if you really want to know what fragrances make up my aromatic calling card I can probably be coerced into telling you…) one of the women came up to me and whispered in my ear…

“Have you seen….(voice goes lower) ‘Dirty John’?”

And I whispered back “OMG- I’m obsessed!”

And we continued to bring back our pre adolescent days by whispering in one anothers ears, and giggling. It reminded me of the days when “Fifty Shades” first came out. Which, for the record, I did not read.

But see- that’s the thing: why am I so adamant about telling you that I DID NOT read the 50 shades books?

I wrote a scathing diatribe against the book “Kissing Quotient.” I thought the book was tawdry and cheap.  Yet…it was Goodreads top romance book for 2018. Which means people voted on it.  Which means people read it.


I don’t know anyone other than myself who admits to reading it…

So apparently this book was voted “Best Romance” even though no one read it.

Why do we whisper the names of certain shows, books, movies?

Why do we consider watching Real Housewives a guilty pleasure

What’s wrong with enjoying things that are not “intellectual”?

Why are we so embarrassed to admit that we like things that might be considered “tawdry”?

Well….we do it to ourselves.

Have you ever looked down on someone who said they did something you think is ridiculous? I know I have. (which explains why no one will admit to reading Kissing Quotient when I’m in earshot) But I shouldn’t be doing that.  Ever.  I should never look oddly at someone for doing something that they enjoy.

So as of today, I’m going to stop referring to my watching “Catfish” as a guilty pleasure.  From now on it will just be a pleasure.  I will no longer refer to it as a documentary on life in an internet age.  I will proudly call it a reality show that peeks into peoples dating lives.

And I’m going to stop judging others for whatever pleasure they have.



31 thoughts on “Psst………

  1. I read 50 Shades eBook from library and thought, meh. Then the 2nd became available and I read it under duress just because I already started. Meh again. I started but never finished the 3rd and have less than no interest in the movie.

    Ten years ago I would have kept all this to myself. Today? Judge me all you want. 😉🙃

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read 50 shades and was under impressed so I didn’t bother with the rest and have not seen the movie. I agree with you, why should we make ourselves feel guilty for doing things we love to do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ok…my base body cream is usually wood sage and sea salt, and my colognes are velvet rose & oud (if I’m feeling seductive) or English pea and freesia if I’m being playful. I am trying the wild bluebell body lotion as a change of pace though!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Good point! Have you ever read Stephen King’s book, “On Writing?” Basically, he argues the same point: there is nothing wrong with enjoying books that aren’t literary. Personally, I don’t care for Stephen King’s horror books, but that’s just a matter of personal taste, I don’t look down on them. And his “On Writing” book is very good, and something that most writers would benefit from reading!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I think you would like it. His main point is to write what you want to write, and don’t worry about what others think of your genre. He also gives some excellent writing advice, and you come away from the book much more confident about sharing your own, unique voice.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I have read Fifty Shades, all three, and was not impressed. Haven’t seen the movies and have no desire to see them. However, I am obsessed with “Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: making the team” each season. Definitely a guilty pleasure, and my hubby can’t stand it. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You would think she would learn after four marriages. I get i5 though..she doesnt have the best relationship with her daughter. She is trying to fill an empty spot…no matter what the cost. So sad.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I read 50 shades and I liked it. Not because it was written well but because it was written just as it was. I liked the cheesy plot line that focused on the erotica. In my mind, it wasn’t something that was meant to be a mind changing book, it was just meant for fun. Me and my girlfriends took turns reading, laughing and talking about it and all went to see the movies together. When I look back now, I’m glad we all got together to chat and enjoy the cheese. It was in its base a book about a change. Throughout the books you see this dark soul begin to fall in love for the first time and change his beliefs and deal with his demons. All while having more money then he could ever think to spend up and taking his girl on wild adventures we all would love to go on. I’m always good for being taken to a different place with someone who can make me feel great. Made for fun evenings and conversations with my girlfriends that made us all laugh and dream. In my book, that was all good!


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