Many of you know I have a love/hate relationship with gifts: love to give them, hate to receive them. So this time of year is always a challenge. Inevitably, my daughter will ask: What do you want for holidays? And I will inevitably answer: Nothing thanks.  I have everything I need.

I know this is not really a good answer.  We give gifts because we love and want to show that love.  But I am a horrible gift recipient.  I have very particular taste, and I hate waste.  The thought of getting a gift and giving it to the thrift shop the next day does not fill me with glee.  I once broke up with a guy because he bought me something and was upset that I didn’t jump up and down or cry upon receipt. Truth is, it was a piece of jewelry that was expensive but gaudy and not my style.  He thought I should love it because he gave it to me.  I thought he was not the right person for me.

Conversely, my Father is not a gift giver.  My Mom always takes care of that (to excess I might add) But when I turned 50 he gave me a statue of David Wright (my Father and I bond over a love of the Mets,  He took me to my first game when I was four and it was love at that diamond for sure) As my Father is not a gift giver, this statue means a great deal to me. It is special because it shows our connection and what makes my relationship with my Father special.  This is how I think all gifts should be: to show the unique and special nature of two people.

Around my vanity I have all the notes that my daughter has written me. No monetary gift can replace the value of these notes- they are the greatest things I have ever received and I treasure them.

Yesterday, one of my writing friends gave me a pencil holder that said “Write” on it. I love it because it is simple yet perfect. Again, it solidifies our connection and what makes it special. And hey- practical!  She knows I edit in pencil and always have them handy!!

So when asked what I want for a gift- I have no clear answer.  Sure, I always want a gift card for a massage, or tickets to something. I’m an experience type of person. But mostly, I want something that shows that the person giving me the gift knows who I am.  Knows that expensive doesn’t mean that I will love it, or that price makes it “better”.  Knows that I value function over form. Knows that I value the thought above all else.



17 thoughts on “Gifting

  1. I like giving people small meaningful things, i like the see the joy on their faces. Be it a medicine organizer(yes the ones that have 7 days written on them, because they keep forgetting to take it) or a simple coffee drink I know someone likes. I feel people value it more when others know what they like, regardless of the price.
    With that said, I am a gift person, I like the same types of gift, expensive or not as long as it has meaning and value, I love it😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I agree. The gift has to show that the person gets who I am. I was thinking about this yesterday. My mom loves penguins. You can never go wrong buying her a penguin. But….how many is enough? Will she love it as much as I do? Maybe she decided to like something else. She, too, is dehoarding. Maybe she doesnt want anymore. I decided to rethink what I am going to buy her this year. I’ve been planning where I am going to take her to look at Christmas lights this year. She really enjoys that. To me that is worth more than a gift shes not going to use or doesnt want

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Totally agree with you on this about giving and receiving sentimental gifts. Ones that have special meaning to them. I love it when I can find that kind of special gift for someone. That statue from your Dad is awesome!
    Every Christmas my kids get a gift that reminds them of something special that we shared from their childhood. Its funny for at times they will act like I am crazy for giving the gift, BUT…the gift is taken back to their room with them and not left lying about. They know their Mom is sentimental!


  4. Well, I get it. But with Sunshine, I have to give him a few specifics because he really hates shopping LOL
    He always does well without direction from me, but sometimes he appreciates the opportunity to give me something useful/meaningful that I couldn’t afford to get myself.


  5. I feel the same way! It’s hard to come up with specific gift ideas, because I do tend to be particular in what I buy for myself. ( I don’t buy much, so what I buy, I really want to love.) Yet it is always nice to know that someone cares enough to want to buy me a gift. And honestly, the fact that they want to get me something is the real gift anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know. It’s a great paradox….you like the thought if receiving a gift, you just don’t need the gift part (I actually made a Spotify playlist for my favorite person)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. One of the nicest presents I ever received was from my son who brought me a goat and three chickens who live with a family in Africa. I loved the idea that somewhere some family had been given a helping hand.

    Liked by 1 person

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