Many of you know I have a love/hate relationship with gifts: love to give them, hate to receive them. So this time of year is always a challenge. Inevitably, my daughter will ask: What do you want for holidays? And I will inevitably answer: Nothing thanks. I have everything I need.
I know this is not really a good answer. We give gifts because we love and want to show that love. But I am a horrible gift recipient. I have very particular taste, and I hate waste. The thought of getting a gift and giving it to the thrift shop the next day does not fill me with glee. I once broke up with a guy because he bought me something and was upset that I didn’t jump up and down or cry upon receipt. Truth is, it was a piece of jewelry that was expensive but gaudy and not my style. He thought I should love it because he gave it to me. I thought he was not the right person for me.
Conversely, my Father is not a gift giver. My Mom always takes care of that (to excess I might add) But when I turned 50 he gave me a statue of David Wright (my Father and I bond over a love of the Mets, He took me to my first game when I was four and it was love at that diamond for sure) As my Father is not a gift giver, this statue means a great deal to me. It is special because it shows our connection and what makes my relationship with my Father special. This is how I think all gifts should be: to show the unique and special nature of two people.
Around my vanity I have all the notes that my daughter has written me. No monetary gift can replace the value of these notes- they are the greatest things I have ever received and I treasure them.
Yesterday, one of my writing friends gave me a pencil holder that said “Write” on it. I love it because it is simple yet perfect. Again, it solidifies our connection and what makes it special. And hey- practical! She knows I edit in pencil and always have them handy!!
So when asked what I want for a gift- I have no clear answer. Sure, I always want a gift card for a massage, or tickets to something. I’m an experience type of person. But mostly, I want something that shows that the person giving me the gift knows who I am. Knows that expensive doesn’t mean that I will love it, or that price makes it “better”. Knows that I value function over form. Knows that I value the thought above all else.
Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 
I like giving people small meaningful things, i like the see the joy on their faces. Be it a medicine organizer(yes the ones that have 7 days written on them, because they keep forgetting to take it) or a simple coffee drink I know someone likes. I feel people value it more when others know what they like, regardless of the price.
With that said, I am a gift person, I like the same types of gift, expensive or not as long as it has meaning and value, I love it😊
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Meaning and value. Exactly
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I agree. The gift has to show that the person gets who I am. I was thinking about this yesterday. My mom loves penguins. You can never go wrong buying her a penguin. But….how many is enough? Will she love it as much as I do? Maybe she decided to like something else. She, too, is dehoarding. Maybe she doesnt want anymore. I decided to rethink what I am going to buy her this year. I’ve been planning where I am going to take her to look at Christmas lights this year. She really enjoys that. To me that is worth more than a gift shes not going to use or doesnt want
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Totally agree! There needs to be meaning for a gift to be truly special
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The gifts I like the best are usually the smallest thing that has great meaning attached, as you say, it’s what the gift means to you, not what it cost or actually is. Great blog!
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Thank you!
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Totally agree with you on this about giving and receiving sentimental gifts. Ones that have special meaning to them. I love it when I can find that kind of special gift for someone. That statue from your Dad is awesome!
Every Christmas my kids get a gift that reminds them of something special that we shared from their childhood. Its funny for at times they will act like I am crazy for giving the gift, BUT…the gift is taken back to their room with them and not left lying about. They know their Mom is sentimental!
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How about taking all those notes you have around your vanity and putting them into a scrapbook album of sorts?
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Are we the same person ?! LOL. Had this very conversation with my daughter this morning.
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All excellent points and I feel the same way.
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Well, I get it. But with Sunshine, I have to give him a few specifics because he really hates shopping LOL
He always does well without direction from me, but sometimes he appreciates the opportunity to give me something useful/meaningful that I couldn’t afford to get myself.
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I feel the same way! It’s hard to come up with specific gift ideas, because I do tend to be particular in what I buy for myself. ( I don’t buy much, so what I buy, I really want to love.) Yet it is always nice to know that someone cares enough to want to buy me a gift. And honestly, the fact that they want to get me something is the real gift anyway.
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I know. It’s a great paradox….you like the thought if receiving a gift, you just don’t need the gift part (I actually made a Spotify playlist for my favorite person)
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I totally agree. I’m just like you where presents are concerned.
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❤️❤️
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One of the nicest presents I ever received was from my son who brought me a goat and three chickens who live with a family in Africa. I loved the idea that somewhere some family had been given a helping hand.
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What a wonderful thought and gift!!
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