When I jotted down notes for today’s blog my intention was to complain about something my Husband did. Nothing major, just something annoying. Then last week I was talking to a friend, and I asked if in my blog I wasn’t particularly nice towards my husband. The response: well, you do sort of paint him in a negative light.
So I thought about that. And I realized it’s true. When I blog about my Husband I tend to complain, or write when he does something wrong. Of course, sometimes the stuff he does is so stupid it’s funny, other times it’s because he’s really pissed me off. It’s easy to write about these things- funny and angry practically write themselves- the words just flow onto the page.
This is the thing about long term relationships (19 years)- it’s easy to pick on the flaws- you’re just more aware of them. At the onset of a relationship you sweep the negative under the rug, you figure you can work on it later. The beginning is all about the good: presents, sex, fun. But as years go by….
On Saturdays I have been trying to focus on the good parts of my life- the little things that I am grateful for. And I admit, even when I am trying to focus on all the good in my life, I still undercredit my Husband. I forget about the things he does which make my life easier and better. It becomes so easy to miss all the good because it’s so easy to focus on the bad or annoying.
So…going forward…I am going to try to think about the good things my Husband does. I am going to try to not let the little stuff drive me crazy (and as I write this I’m annoyed because he did something insignificant to most but to me it took my out of my morning ritual and it’s eating away at my brain) but I’m going to try to remember the good that he does.
I guess that’s the key to successful, long term relationships: the ability to let the positive shine thought and let the negative slide to the background. There should be a relationship journal where every night you must write down one bad thing and three good things about your significant other. This way, you get to vent, but you also get to praise. You get to look at your SO in a better light, while accepting that they are human and have faults. It’s all about perspective: how we choose to view the people we are with.