I went to the gym last week, did my usual hour on the elliptical. As I was watching HGTV, the guy on the elliptical next to me started chatting me up, in a pleasant manner.  He was age appropriate and rather attractive, so I was enjoying the banter.  I admit, though I am totally in love, the positive affirmation from someone I don’t know did make me feel good.

But, here’s the thing. You can never let yourself get too cocky…

A short time later I was running errands (my daughter had pre ordered her Halloween costume and I told her I would pick it up at Party City). As I was walking home, some random person shouted:

“Nice Ass Grandma”

Of course I relayed this story to my friends.  I got the following responses:

  1. OMG- I just told my Husband and he’s hysterical
  2. Well, at least he thought it was nice
  3. GILF
  4. On behalf of all men I apologize
  5. Only in NYC
  6. Tell me more about the attractive guy at the gym

What was my response?

GRANDMA.  He referred to me as a Grandma?

Now, I realize I am old enough to be a Grandma.  I know that there are plenty of women my age who are Grandma’s.  My cousin D, who is six years younger than me, just found out she is going to be a Grandma.  So I get that.  But I just don’t feel like a Grandma.

What does a Grandma feel like? I don’t really know, except to say that I don’t feel like one. When I think Grandma I think cozy cardigan sweaters, and little wire rim glasses- sort of like Mrs. Claus.  And I know that’s not how Grandma’s look nowadays.  I know Grandma’s can be hip and cool and fun.  My Mom, obviously a Grandma, still looks youthful.  But there’s just something about the connotation…

I know I have to come to the understanding that I am getting older.  And getting older is not a bad thing- as we’ve stated before, it’s better than the alternative.  I need to accept the fact that I am still the same person I have always been, but with a few extra lines and dryer skin, and knees that hurt when I take the stairs too quickly. But it’s OK. I know that one day I will be a very cool Grandma….

42 thoughts on “Nice &%$ Grandma”

  1. My mom has been coloring her hair since I was a young child. She had me at 24, I’m the oldest. When I was in highschool I asked her if she ever considered stopping this madness, coloring out of a box. (I do it too, same messy fiasco every 2 weeks). She said “when I’m a grandma”.

    Her oldest grandchild is 16 (2 years older than my son).

    She’s still coloring her hair. 😉

    Then.
    I said “what if I stopped coloring MY hair?”

    The look of horror from her, and my family, tells me maybe I’m not quite ready for that step. Getting older in visible ways is… contradictory.

    Sigh.

    At least you still go to the gym!! Keeps you fit and healthy for when ‘grandma’ does happen! 🙃

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    1. True! But you know, when you still have teens or younger, your mind is so far removed from grandma status, like I can’t even imagine being a grandma for the foreseeable future. But that being said, we are both still vibrant and amazing…so there’s that….

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      1. my friend whose dog I sit had her child at age 19. She has a child of her own now, who is 9 or 10…so my friend, who is only about 4, 5 years older than me, has been a grandma for a decade.

        My first born is only 13… 🙂

        I think kids today have no concept about age anyway. Ask my kids how old their teacher is and they’ll say something like “oh she’s pretty old’…I’m thinking a few years short of retirement, they’re thinking 40.

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  2. My friend is 42 but her hair started going grey in our 20s. It is now full on silver and white. She hasn’t dyed it in a while and was trying to rock the trendy grey hair thing. She also rides motocross. She texted me last week because she was at the track, feeling pretty good about herself, with a big crowd watching, when she hears from the sidelines “GO Grandma!” Then the kid turns to her husband, who was watching, and says “Wow, your grandma can really ride!”
    So my friend made an appointment at the hair salon the next day. LOL

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  3. My reaction would be the same as yours. I’d be insulted. And I AM a grandma. I just don’t want to be referred to as one except by my grandchildren. I think I look damn good for a woman hanging on to her 60’s. I still get checked out by men. And I love being a grandmother. But I don’t need a left handed compliment from anyone reminding me that I am old enough to be a grandmother. I know I’m not young but I’m not methuselah either. So I think men of any age should either keep their mouths shut or give a full fledged compliment. You don’t refer to people’s ages just like you don’t assume a woman is pregnant in case she’s just full figured. Don’t let it bother you. At least your behind looks good. From behind I know I look my age. Lol

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    1. I admit that I honestly found it mainly amusing. And I will be dining out on this story for awhile. And once, I saw an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile and I assumed she was pregnant….and she wasn’t….mortifying….

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      1. One more comment before I run out to do errands…. My father taught my brother and I something very valuable. Keep in mind I grew up in the 1950’s, and we helped my Dad in his store when school was out. My brother would work in the hardware dept and I was usually in toys or cosmetics. In any event, my father would go to either of us and say, “Lesley (or Bob), Please help this young lady. She needs a Bla Bla Bla…” I remember as a kid looking at some old biddy who was then smiling and beaming like a teenager when my Dad called her young. It was a good lesson.
        Everyone likes to be treated respectfully and as if they were valuable. I once asked him why he called a certain lady young. He commented that a woman’s age is a private matter and no lady likes to think of herself as old. So picture this… My father in his youth resembled Clark Gable. He was a dashing figure of a man. But he was the ultimate gentleman. We could be walking down the street as a family and he would say to my brother, “Bob, move out of the way and let the young lady pass.” Again my brother and I kept quiet because the women were usually middle aged, but each time they were treated with dignity and told they were young, they smiled and suddenly you could see a touch of who they used to be when they actually were young. I have never forgotten those moments helping my father. BTW, With the guys he would say, “Please assist the gentleman on aisle 3” and I would go there and some old hick would be waiting, but you could tell he felt like a million bucks. Men and women equally like to feel special. That’s what its all about. Treating one another with dignity at any age.

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    2. You know what we are not addressing in this conversation…. is that why do men think it is okay to comment to any woman of any age about her body??? Even if George Clooney walked by I wouldn’t say to him, “Hi Mr. Yummy, your ass is mighty fine.” So why do men think it is their right to comment on our bodies??? It used to annoy the hell out of me when I was young, but now because it doesn’t happen very often, when I get a double glance I do feel flattered. I suppose because society makes women over 50 feel invisible. But, If a guy commented on my body parts I would be insulted. The other day I was running to pick up take out at a local sea food restaurant and two guys on a ladder working on the store next to the restaurant strained and turned their heads nudging each other when I ran by. I smiled to myself since I knew they had no clue how old I was, and for a moment I thought, Ya still got it! But then I thought… wait a minute, I’m a feminist!!! Had they shouted something at me I think instead of feeling flattered I would have been insulted. ALSO, I hate when even women say, “You look great for your age.” What does age have to do with it??? If someone looks good they look good. Whether they are single, a mom, a grandma or whatever.

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      2. Yes LA, it’s a really interesting issue, which I think may be exclusive to this country. In Europe an attractive woman can be 40 or 70. It doesn’t matter. In the US there seems to be conditions on beauty. Like there’s a shelf life to being sexy or attractive. Just yesterday I went to get a pneumonia shot. While waiting at Walgreens this incredible women was in line. I heard her say her bday was 1940. You could have floored me. We sat talking waiting for the pharmacist to give us our shots and I asked her how she stayed in such amazing shape . She laughed and said 6 kids and 15 grandchildren. I thought it had to be good genetics. (Think Jane Fonda). She’s in her 80’s and is still gorgeous. I know for a fact that in her case it’s not just on the screen since my son (the one who is in the film industry) worked with her on set. He said she truly looks like a movie star. She is beautiful. And best of all, he said she’s absolutely lovely. Not too many stars impress him, but he grew up watching me do Jane’s workouts and so the first time he met her he had to call and tell me. Also, Kim Bassinger had him star struck. He said they were both unbelievably elegant and lovely. He never used the phrase for their age when he described them. He’s around beautiful people all the time in his business. Yet on two separate films each of those stars impressed him because of their looks and demeanor. So, beauty is timeless and we women need to appreciate the beauty in one another. Just saying, age shouldn’t affect how we look at or value people.

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  8. Personal comments are always rude. If someone called out nice ass without the word Grandma, I would still be offended that someone had the gall to call that out. Yes, I am old enough to be a grandma, but the whole idea that someone can comment on my physical appearance when not called for is in bad taste if nothing else. I know this is not what you were asking, but I am looking at the bigger picture. Sorry.

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    1. This resounds a more thoughtful answer than I want to write in this space, but let’s just say, there are rude comments every day, and cross gender lines and appearance lines

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  10. Oh heck LA, I’d be happy if someone told me I had a nice a$$, whether or not the last part of the phrase was grandma! LOL And good for you for having a nice bum that someone noticed…especially some kiddo who’s being fresh. I’m sorry. This is probably not the response you were expecting from me…but hey, you’re doing something right. The gym guy chatting you up and then the compliment on the street…yes…only in NYC! Pretend you didn’t hear the grandma part…and just remember your bum was complimented! 🙂 Now wiggle it for hubby and own it like a fashion model! LOL

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  11. I think you are lucky. The only guys at the gym who pay attention to me lately are the bad boys I seem to attract and they scare me more by noticing me. Maybe it was because at the time, I was driving a brand new BMW 340i on loan from my stepson. Now we are back to our old car up and running. I no longer feel paranoid to be driving such an expensive car with all the latest gadgets and I also noticed young men don’t seem to stare at me when I am in my car. The car brand new with all the gadgets was like part of a small down payment on a house: $60,000. The things we worry about.

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      1. Well, this was more like looking at the expensive and snazzy car I was in when I returned. I felt a bit funny in such an expensive car but at least now I know what it feel like to drive a BMW 340i and even higher BMW’s! But I do know what you mean!

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  13. I have been mentoring a 2nd grade teacher for the past 2 years. When I walked into her classroom the first time this year and several kids asked me whose grandma I was, I wanted to cry. I actually have 2 recently married daughters and am likely to become a grandma sooner rather than later but the question hit me hard. I’ve also had several people ask me if I’m her mother when we are out (we are friends outside of school) and even though she is the age of my daughters, I find the question rude. We look nothing alike. The last time it happened, she said, “My mom is Japanese.” And we both smiled since I am blonde.
    And, I do still have guys flirting with me often enough. It’s a weird world.

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    1. Exactly! I have both ends of the spectrum. And age means different things to different people. Some people see overt and flashy and just assume they’re younger, and someone more classic is assumed to be older.

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  14. Being a grandma (or in my case a Nonni) has been the best gift EVER. While I still like to look good when I go out, when I’m at home watching my grandkids, the flannel pants and sweatshirt are just great. The kids think I’m beautiful, and tell me so every day. They love my presence, my warmth, my pudgy, huggy body. And you know what? I’ll take that over being a sexy object to a random guy on the street any old day!!!

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