My Husband wanted to organize a group dinner with his buddies from college and their spouses. He planned it six weeks ago and sent out a text asking if X date was good. Oddly, for people with busy lives and kids, all were available on a particular Saturday in September. Husband found the perfect restaurant for a group of 15: we could get one table instead of breaking up into smaller tables as some places do, they had a prix fixe menu so it would be easy to divvy up the bill, they had gluten free options for our gluten free friends, the wine list wasn’t stupidly expensive, and it was six blocks from our house, which was perfect because we wanted to have pre dinner cocktails on our roof deck. Let me make this clear: I did not want to plan this event. I did not interfere at all except to say that the date he picked was free.
Now, you probably know that I am a detailed list maker. My Husband is not.
About three weeks after he planned the dinner, he realized that he forgot to add a couple that was supposed to be invited. He looked at me and said “What do I do?” cause you know this is rocket science. I said “Tell them, hey, I just realized that you’re not on the email. Sorry. And give the details of the night.” Which he did. Whew. Glad we got through that ordeal…
Now fast forward to the week before the event. Husband is in Alabama for the Alabama/Texas A&M football game. No, Husband did not go to either school- he just roots for Alabama…
Friday afternoon I get what I perceived to be a frantic text. “Made reservation for wrong night. Please find a restaurant.”
Now here’s the thing about NYC: it’s always busy here. With the exception of the last two weeks of August, the city is never quiet. And in the fall it’s worse, because not only ae there tourists and conventions, all the people who live here are actually in town (summer and winter weekends are often spent at the beach or on the slopes) So getting a dinner reservation for 15 people on a Saturday night at 8pm in my neighborhood that is reasonably priced and has a gluten free options- well this was a tall order.
But I found the perfect place. (It only took an hour…) Good atmosphere, pitchers of sangria, and all of the above.
Perfect. I text my husband. He’s happy.
When he returned to the city on Sunday, he asked: “Can you go down to the restaurant and see what we should do about ordering food? How can we handle everything?”
Remember- I did not want to do this. I did not want to do any of it. Yet here I was….
Now- I know that couples have to help each other out- I realize that’s part of the deal. When one needs help, you help. We all screw up. Fine. He has helped me out before. A lot. But- I admit I resented this a little. I know he’s stressed out at work. I know our life has been a little hectic. But yet… I really didn’t care that much about this night out…to me, it was a dinner with friends. Not a party. Not a function. Just 15 old friends hanging out together. No reason to be “in charge”. Yet, he wanted to be in charge. He just wanted me to do it.
But the end of the story is, I went to the restaurant, worked everything out, had a great night. The take away here is: my husband doesn’t like making lists. He doesn’t like marking things down in his calendar. This always causes issues and stress. (he has triple and quadrupled booked things- often) So sometimes I wonder if I want to be an organized list maker, or if I need to be an organized list maker….