Claudette recently posted about how her sporty children had to take a concussion baseline test before participating in the upcoming hockey season. Basically, these are tests to show what “normal” is for each particular athlete so if there is fear of a concussion, there is a comparative factor.  These tests include time, memory capacity, speed of mental processing and executive functioning of the brain (concussiontreatment.com).

Of course, I began to think of other practical applications of baseline tests.  I began to think, what if we gave our significant others baseline tests at the beginning of a relationship?  What if we then tested them every year after to see if they’ve lost anything?

The tests could be something like this:

Time

  1. How long does it take them to find five specific items in the grocery store
  2. When you ask for help and they respond “In a minute” see how long it actually takes them to get up and help
  3. If they say the game only has two minutes left, see if they can calculate the difference between stated and actual time?
  4. How long does it take them to make the bed?

Memory Capacity

  1. Recite all names of all teachers of all children
  2. Remember the 15 things of to do list
  3. What is your eye color
  4. When is your birthday
  5. What day is significant to your relationship
  6. Where are there keys, wallet and phone
  7. Did they remember to put the toilet seat down
  8. Do they remember what the laundry hamper is and what goes in it

Speed of Mental Processing

  1. How long does it take to them to realize that you’ve been talking for five minutes because they haven’t been listening
  2. How long does it take them to realize why you are glaring at them
  3. How long does it take them to realize that they forgot the one thing that you asked them to buy at the store
  4. How long does it take them to find a specified item in their closet that they absolutely must have that day

Executive Functioning of the Brain

  1. Can they solve four separate crisis at the same time?
  2. Can they navigate a trip to the mall with a teenager?
  3. If the light bulb burns out, can they successfully follow the steps necessary to allow light to once again enter the room?
  4. Can they put together furniture that comes in a box?
  5. Can they follow a simple recipe?
  6. Can they figure out what to do if they are lost?

 

42 thoughts on “Baseline Test: Partner

  1. Oh my. Lol….

    I noticed a key difference between the male component in this house and the female one: he has way better focus in a chaotic situation than I do. He can plop his laptop on top of a messy desk and complete a task from beginning to end. What mess, he says to me.

    I’m not made that way. Which also explains why I am often unable to complete a task in a given time frame because of my incessant multitasking. 😜

    Liked by 3 people

  2. hey, hey, hey! this is slanted against males and is sexist.

    Time

    How long does it take them to find five specific items in the grocery store. Just five? I always have a list and I know where everything is.

    When you ask for help and they respond “In a minute” see how long it actually takes them to get up and help. The cats don’t ask me for help so it’s not a problem here.

    If they say the game only has two minutes left, see if they can calculate the difference between stated and actual time? You do know that the referees can stop the clock don’t you? The rules of the game also determines when the clock is supposed to stop. Plus, coaches have this thing called “Time Out”. So those two minutes can go a while and not literally be “two minutes”.

    How long does it take them to make the bed? I do that every morning. It’s a bad habit from Basic Training that I’ve kept.

    Memory Capacity

    Recite all names of all teachers of all children. My kids are in their 30’s and don’t go to school. It doesn’t apply to me.

    Remember the 15 things of to do list. That’s why it’s written down so you don’t forget.

    What is your eye color. Miss Lily’s are green and Big Boy’s are yellow.

    When is your birthday. Doesn’t apply.

    What day is significant to your relationship. What’s a relationship???

    Where are there keys, wallet and phone. In the bowl on my dresser. Where else are you supposed to keep them?

    Did they remember to put the toilet seat down. Is that really a problem? Mine is always down. Another bad habit from Basic Training. Damn Drill Sergeants and their inspections.

    Do they remember what the laundry hamper is and what goes in it? D’uh! Plus I know what a laundry bag is and how to do my own laundry.

    Speed of Mental Processing

    How long does it take to them to realize that you’ve been talking for five minutes because they haven’t been listening? Sometimes quiet is a good thing.

    How long does it take them to realize why you are glaring at them? How long does it take for them to notice that I’m ignoring that they are glaring?

    How long does it take them to realize that they forgot the one thing that you asked them to buy at the store? Write a list next time so it isn’t an issue. If it’s not on the list, then you can’t hold it against me.

    How long does it take them to find a specified item in their closet that they absolutely must have that day. Oh like shoes? Or a belt? Keeping an orderly closet is another bad habit from Basic Training. (Sheesh! Have I been indoctrinated or what???)

    Executive Functioning of the Brain

    Can they solve four separate crisis at the same time? Oh like balancing a workload, going to school, keeping the wife and kids happy, studying, staying on the honor roll and then being deployed to strange and exotic places where food comes in a bag and spiders are as big as your hand??? Yeh. Check that one off.

    Can they navigate a trip to the mall with a teenager? Who wants to? My daughters didn’t wanna hang out with Dad at the mall. It was uncool. Their friends may see them with Dad.

    If the light bulb burns out, can they successfully follow the steps necessary to allow light to once again enter the room? How about let’s put in some LED fixtures so we no longer have this problem. Check off another square.

    Can they put together furniture that comes in a box? How about take it back apart, move halfway around the world and then put it back together again and hope and pray that the movers didn’t loose the box with the nuts and bolts.

    Can they follow a simple recipe? I have more recipes than most women that I know and I’m a pretty doggone good cook and baker. I have skills yanno.

    Can they figure out what to do if they are lost? Like use MapQuest or Siri or even a Rand McNally road map? Check.

    Damn! Maybe I should post the above as a resume on LinkedIn.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I think you should add it to your profile! I’m extremely impressed! Funny enough my female friend told me this morning she couldn’t remember her kids teacher names! And her husband made bed in record time. But you are definitely a prize….I need to keep your resume on file….

      Liked by 1 person

  3. How long does it take them to realize why you are glaring at them

    All your baseline partner considerations are good, but this one in particular seems the most applicable to the longevity of a relationship. Once you [he] can decode a [your] glare, life is better for both parties [him].

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is a condition that begins in the teen years and is called adolescent brain damage. I mean, they step over the laundry basket, bin, pike of books, stuff and they say “what laundry basket?”

      Lol

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LOL! Indeed, You need a test for honesty, loyalty, compassion, empathy and integrity 🙂

    I know a woman who administered a different test – she required a bank statement, credit rating, and criminal background check – but I’m not sure love fit into her equation 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah….I don’t know if I’d be running towards that person…. credit rating? Seriously? But I think you’re right about those other tests…I have to start thinking….

      Liked by 1 person

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