Did you ever notice that when a couple gets engaged, one of the first questions asked is “How did X propose to you?” Why is this? Why is the how more important than the why (as in, why do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person)
Well, I guess it’s less personal to ask how than why. It’s also easier. It’s simple to explain – it was done at place Y, they said Z to me, etc. But how do you explain why you want to be with someone? Is there a universal phrase that can sum up why you love? How do you explain to an outside party why you love someone?
To go a step further, other than the words “I Love You”, how do you even show your partner how much you love them? How do you show someone that you care?
Enter the grand gesture.
Promposals. How did asking someone to prom become an extravaganza? Engagements? Have you seen instagrams of the lengths people will go to when proposing to someone? Why has asking someone a question become an event that takes weeks of planning?(Now, before you go crazy on me, I think the decision to marry someone should be taken with great care…the actual proposal…..well…)
I think people feel they need to make a grand gesture so that there intended knows how much they mean to them. Anyone can say the words “I love you”, but if you follow it up with a grand, physical gesture? Then it must be true- this person loves me because they were willing to show it by doing A. They spent time planning out the perfect situation. They spent money to make sure they got everything right. There are pictures that I can post on social media- because we all know that if it’s on social media it’s true…A grand gesture is proof that someone cares enough about you to go the extra mile…
Isn’t that what we all want? Proof that someone is willing to extend themselves for you? Whether it be moving in together, or going to prom, or getting married, we want to know that the other person really cares. We want confirmation that we are not a consolation prize, that we are indeed their first choice. But no matter how gifted someone may be with words, it’s not always easy to get that point across…so you need an action…something tangible…to make it abundantly clear. The grander the gesture, the greater your expression of love….
So- now it’s your turn. What do you think of grand gestures of love and commitment, or even just attraction? Do you think they’re necessary? Have you ever orchestrated a grand gesture, or been on the receiving end of one? Do you think love needs to be proved, or are the words enough?