As a rule, I don’t remember what I read or write on any particular day. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule.
On 9/11/2017 I shared with you my personal feelings and experiences from 9/11/01. I was living and working in NYC that day, so what I expressed were my memories, no one else’s.
On 9/11/17, I also read some things. Today’s post is about what I read that day:
Tragedy- an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe (dictionary.com)
I read many posts and such comparing 9/11 to other tragedies. People wrote, “Why do we care about 9/11 more than we care about X?” (fill in X with whatever tragedy you want)
Now here’s my question to people who wrote something like that: When did this become a pissing contest? When did we decide to measure one tragedy against another? Can you please send me the rubric so I can determine the pecking order of which destruction of life and property deserves more facetime? Because I sort of treat all tragedies as just that- a horrible event that wreaked havoc on a whole bunch of lives.
The next series of posts and things I read centered around – “OMG it was 16 years ago. Why are you still so bothered by 9/11?” OK- here’s the thing: Please don’t ever tell someone else when their grief or heartbreak should be over. Again, if there is a timeline for how long it takes to get over something tragic, please send it to me. Don’t tell someone they “should” be over loss of a child, or a divorce, or the loss of a home. There is no statute of limitations on grief- you can grieve about something the rest of your life. And to all of you who may say “Get over it”, you know what I call you? A bully. Because that’s what bullies do: they try to intimidate you into thinking you are weak. Guess what? Grieving for something or someone does not make you weak: it makes you human. And a bully- well, we know what you are…
So today, 9/11/18, I ask the following of you:I
- Don’t bully anyone ever.
- If you are going to say anything derogatory, think about it. Think if it will make anyone feel better. If it doesn’t, ask yourself why you are saying it.
- If there is a tragedy that you care about, please donate your money and/or your time to helping the victims of that tragedy
- Truly listen to those around you and accept that there point of view may be different from yours
- Be kind
- Be kind
- Be kind
Be kind – and the rest would follow… Thank you LA for reminding us yet again
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I think sometimes we forget this simple fundamental thing in our eagerness to give our views!!
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I think so too. I’m all for having opinions and expressing them obviously) but sometimes you have to think if expressing your view will really do more harm than good.
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True that. I am generally careful, but I will take more care in real life. Sometimes I take my loved ones for granted 🙈🙈
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We all do….that’s just human nature. But every now and then we really have to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes….it’s hard, but we have to at least try
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I was working at FlightSafety in Toronto that day and had to interrupt the pilot groundschools consisting mostly of American pilots and tell them that America was under attack.
They looked at me like I had horns on my head or something.
Then, the images started showing up on the internet and the TV in the lunch room (this was before smartphones were common)…class was interrupted and everyone started calling home.
My workplace and my home are close to the airport. There are always planes flying overhead. After the borders closed, even Toronto’s airport became eerily silent. No one was leaving, airport at capacity so no one was coming in either.
I never noticed how noisy our skies were until that day, driving home, hearing no sounds from above.
It stayed with me and will continue to forever most likely forever.
Sigh.
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Exactly. There are those of us who will never forget the silence of that day. Xo
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Well said!
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LA,
I found myself nodding my head throughout this. There is NO statute of limitations and there is no comparing one horrible event to other. The bottom line is, there is a date on the calendar which will always be a reminder to those who lived through it.
To remembering, always. And to kindness, times three
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Excellent and timely post . . . for many reasons.
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My family has a unique perspective regarding that fateful day. While the world was falling apart, we were blissfully clueless waiting for a baby to be born. My nephew came that morning! I sometimes have guilt that we celebrate that day in our family. But, however much we. Hose to focus on the joy, I would never judge someone else’s focus, pain, or grief from that day.
To treat others with kindness is truly one of the simplest things. It boggles my mind that so few people actually do it.
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There was nothing wrong with celebrating joy with the birth of a child. It’s wonderful to have a happy memory no matter when it falls! I agree…kindness doesn’t cost anything, yet we push it asides sometimes. That’s the lesson we need to remember today, and tomorrow and every day after
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Amen to that!
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My daughter’s best friend was born on Sept 11, not on the day of the attacks, but still. We all celebrate with her regardless. I don’t think anyone, including those who lost loved ones, would be upset about that, celebrating a new life on that date. But I understand the conflict of emotion…
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Totally understand the conflict, but we should always try to find joy. It’s too easy to overlook the good
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Be kind is a good message regardless of the date or situation. The shared grief of 9/11 is enormous, and it shouldn’t make other events smaller because they impacted fewer people. I think respecting a loss whether it was personal or collective, like 9/11, is what should be remembered.
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That’s my feeling. Let’s use this day as a reminder to be good and try to help others. Let’s learn and grow from this
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Wise words! Thank you for this post! I am so sick and tired of this negativity and constantly comparing… No situation- No tragedy is identical. Everything is unique and should be treated as such. No comparisons – no complaining- just compassion!
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Exactly. Compassion. Respect what others are feeling. Don’t question their feelings. Love. That’s all.
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well, i like the way you think.
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Amen, great post!
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Amen Amen Amen to your perfect post…you are so right. xo
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How eerie, I just saw my comment above posted at 11:11! Not really anything special, my mind just notices oddities like that.
Thanks for the post.
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Thank you! I notice things like that too!❤️
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So glad I’m not the only one!💖
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I am not an American and I don’t live in the USA but on that day I was in Miami with friends to celebrate another friend’s birthday which falls on the 11th of September. I remember being woken out of bed and told to come into the living room…what I saw on tv took several moments to process…and it took me almost a week to get home as flights were crazy…almost a year later for work I attended a ceremony at ground zero where families (wives and children) received awards for their brave loved ones who lost their lives that day…I cried uncontrollably…
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It was a tough day. And tough every year after that!
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I liked your ending of being kind — always be kind. We pulled together as a nation on 9/11. I wish we would again, though without a major catastrophe to unite us.
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I know! We need kindness
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True!!!!
I remember bringing my students onto the playground just as a military jet flew overhead. I lived just across the river in NJ and many of my students had parents who worked downtown. My husband, my sister and many others were in the city that day. I remember waking up the following morning as if hungover and wondering how my children’s lives would be changed. My husband was in the World Trade Center when the earlier bomb went off years earlier. It was bizarre.
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My first job was at 5 world trade….during the first bombing I had so many friends and co workers there…it was surreal…
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I know! My husband came home with soot all over his face and even he found it hard to believe a bomb had gone off.
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Everything you say is right on. The closer one is to a tragedy, the greater the chance that they’ll never “get over” it. It’s a luxury to have distance and perspective. – Marty
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It’s true….when something is at your front door it stays with you. Thanks
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Absolutely.
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So very true! Being kind is exactly what most of my quotes were about today in my post. So important and also so very true about there not being a time limit!! You don’t just forget things like 9/11! I still get tears in my eyes and my body still has goosebumps when I remember all the emotions from that day!!
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I will never forget that day. Forever etched in my mind
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As always, insightful and well said!
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Thank you!
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I always wondered how people remembered exactly where they were when they learned JFK was shot. I think 9/11 is my generation’s JFK event. I remember that morning so vividly. I was living near Buffalo, NY and in the Air National Guard. Needless to say 9/11 had a big impact on my life and affected the rest of my military career. 9/11 was a game changer for the entire country.
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I will never forget that day….
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Amen to that sister
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I don’t think anyone will ever really be the same after 9/11. I know so many people who moved to the Connecticut suburbs after it because they couldn’t deal with the city any more.
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I read a lot of morons who have an agenda. There is no agenda when dealing with a situation like this. I was disgusted by things I read last year….took a year for me to be calm enough to write a response
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Well said LA, as usual. 🙂
I remember where I was that day. It had already started off to be a bad year for me personally, that april we lost my father in his battle with cancer. He was a military man. That day I was dropping off my ex husband at his work at the time, I had gone inside and at his workplace there were large screen so they could show WWF (back when there was a WWF) paid per view specials. Someone had put the news on. I sat there and watched the footage in shock. It took me quite awhile to be able to get up and go home.
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