A few weeks ago I asked the question “Can men and women be friends?” The overwhelming response was “Yes. Men and women can be friends.” But today I’m going to throw in little twist.
Here’s three things you need to know:
- I’m not a particularly jealous person
- My Husband has female friends
- I think one of his female friends is husband hunting any way she can
Now here’s the scenario: A few weeks ago, (oddly, not long after I wrote said post) my Husband went out with friends. Well, it was supposed to be a group, but it ended up with my Husband and one woman having dinner. The predatory woman. I had no problem with this, because I think that men and women can be friends.
Fast forward to the next morning: I check Facebook and there’s a picture of my Husband and Woman, and she has her arm around him and is leaning into him. Obviously she has tagged him.
So here is where I start to have a problem. I don’t like the way this looks. I don’t need my daughter to see this. I don’t trust her. I don’t think anything is going on, because even my Husband is not stupid enough to post a pic with a woman he is fooling around with. (note to cheaters: do something incredibly stupid and you’re partner will just assume you are not that idiotic)
But I don’t like what this picture represents. So I call my Husband. And at first he thinks I’m crazy, and then I say: What is your Mother going to say when she see’s this picture?” And then he begins to understand my point. And he apologizes and agrees with me and untags himself.
Except I’m still pissed off. But apparently I’m supposed to automatically be fine when he says that he’s sorry, while I think I’m allowed to stew for more than a minute. He then gets mad at me because I “lack empathy” because this woman has no close friends, has no partner (divorced twice) and has a lousy relationship with her two daughters. I ask him why he has no empathy for me, and how I feel about this whole situation.
So we end up in a fight because I don’t like his friendship with a woman. We each think the other is not being fair. I trust my Husband, but I don’t know what this woman’s thought process is. My gut instinct is that she has an ulterior motive. And let’s face it, I trust my Husband, but if someone is putting a plate of cookies right in front of you…
So now I question the whole man/woman/friendship thing. I question myself, because I pride myself on being a rational person.
So today’s question is: Can a married person be friends with an unmarried person of the persuasion that they are attracted to? What do we think about the scenario when it is framed this way?