“OMG- Look at her. She’s looks like she’s 17.” (referring to a 13 year old) “No. She looks like she’s 21.” referring to 16 year old.
These are statements I often hear from people like my Mother and Father in law, and actually friends of my Husbands. They are obsessed with determining how old females look.
This drives me crazy.
I do not understand the obsession with stating how “old” someone looks.
Whenever I hear someone make a statement such as this, I immediately get on the defensive. I ask what determines how old someone looks. I ask what their baseline is in their thinking. I ask them why it is so important that they need to comment on it. When I hear comments such as this, I just can’t let it go.
This drives my Husband crazy. He will continually ask me why I care about this issue, why it means so much to me. We have actually gotten into fights about this, because he doesn’t think I should speak my mind on this topic. He thinks I should just ignore it when people start age judging.
But I can’t.
He doesn’t understand why this is a where I take a stand- why this is something I can’t stay silent on…
So let me explain it a bit…
I don’t like when people are judged by their appearance.
The minute someone makes a comment about how old someone looks, they are making a value judgement on them. They are intimating that by the use of make up or clothing, the person does not appear to be “their” age. They look older, or younger, or whatever.
Why are we doing this to people?
Aren’t we more than what our outward appearance dictates?
How about how our society deals with age and aging?
The more we comment on how “old” someone looks, the more emphasis we put on it. Young girls will want to look “older” because they feel it makes them more attractive. To a 13 year old, looking 17 means they appear more sophisticated, others will find them desirable. Older women will want to look “younger” because they feel it makes them more attractive. A sixty year old might think looking 55 is the greatest thing in the world because no one is asking if they want the AARP discount.
Why are we doing this to ourselves?
Why can’t we wear make up or not? Dress a certain way, or not? Why are we constantly discussing people’s appearance?
When my Mother says to my daughter “You look like you’re 21 when you wear your make up like that’ it actually makes my skin crawl. It sounds so creepy. I just don’t understand the need for these types of comments. And I will continue to vocalize my opinion on this matter.
Stop looking at people, especially females, and trying to determine their age. There is not good reason to ever do this, unless you’re a bouncer at a bar, or the ticket taker at a movie…