You all know me as a fairly organized, logical person who must do things in a certain way or they freak out.  And I am- I have a hard time letting things go.  You know how I said I would go to University of Chicago if I had to do it all over again?  That’s because of the tour guide.  My daughter always asks tour guides “If you could change one thing about this school, what would it be?” And our UofC guide said- “See that path over there, the one that overlaps with another? Well if you stand on the center of that intersection and look north, you will see that the building is off center- it should be straight ahead yet it’s not.  That drives me crazy.” Now- some of you may be laughing because that is sort of odd and funny- but that exact thing would drive me crazy.  In fact, when my  gym did a renovation and someone asked me what I thought, the first thing I said was “Well, when you’re going from second floor to first, the tag line isn’t formatted correctly- the words are not symmetrical.”  So- you get the idea of how my mind works.

Except when it doesn’t work like that.

Here’s a little window into the wild world that is me: I hate shredding.  I mean, I absolutely can’t stand it.  But once a day I sit at my desk and shred whatever paper came in that day, or paper that I don’t always need.  Well- that always was the plan.  But that was before pneumonia.  See, a funny thing happened when I had pneumonia- I didn’t shred anything.  Four weeks of actively being sick- do you know how much paper comes into a house during four weeks?  Especially because my daughter was getting mailings from about a million colleges? I started putting things to be shredded into a bag.

Now- you know the snowball effect? When if you don’t do something the right way from the outset it just keeps building and building and building?

Yeah.

I now have a large shopping bag of paper that needs to be shredded.

And you know how some people hide new things they’ve bought from their partner because they don’t want them to know how much money they’ve spent?  Well, I’m extremely upfront about my spending, but this bag full of paper?  Yeah- I keep moving it around the apartment.  I’m embarrassed to let anyone see my bag of shame. I’ve had nightmares about the bag taking over my house.  I was going to take a picture of it for the blog, but I can’t quite face it.

I’m mortified that I’ve let this get so far.

What kind of monster am I to have let this bag of paper take over my life?

I’ve exposed to you another dirty little secret: I am a schredophobic and I don’t know how to get over it…

I know my day of reckoning is coming soon.  I know that I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and start shredding, because the bag is becoming so big I will not be able to hide it anymore.   I’m trying to think of songs so I can come up with a shredding playlist, because I can’t get through this alone- I need shredding motivation.

Wish me luck.  It’s me or the bag.  I don’t know who will survive.

96 thoughts on “Bag of Shame”

  1. Are you required to shred in NY before recycling?? I am confused. I can understand shredding papers/documents with personal info, but things like college info/brochures, etc? Can they not just go into a recycle bin whole… Or is this a self-imposed plan, which then yes-you must just get it done now or risk the bag multiplying dozens of times 😉

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    1. There is so much sensitive info on paper we receive…everything with an address or those credit card applications. Stealing info is a huge business and I don’t want anything that might contain any info to be used. Also, shredded paper is supposedly better for recycling…if something clearly doesn’t have personal info on it I just recycle. But iv3 heard too many identity theft nightmares.

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  6. I chuckled reading this. *blush* So sorry! But I get what you’re saying. Shredding is a pain, and it’s way worse when you have compiled mountains of paper.

    But I also thought immediately in my head that you definitely don’t care for clutter — at least paper clutter in your house. I feel the same way, but I don’t keep up with it like you do, so kudos to you, even if you hate shredding! lol You at least regularly keep up with the clutter, except when you were sick, which is TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.

    I like the suggestion above about doing some shredding each day. It would be easier than sitting down for who knows how long, and shredding each piece in the bag. 🙂

    You can do it!

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    1. I know. But it’s that first shred…..😉you know what the real issue is? Shredding is mindless, and best done with tv on. But, my shredder can interfere with the cable system so the tv shuts off….I know that so7nds lame, but that’s another reason why I’ve been avoiding it!!

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      1. lol Well, it IS boring if you don’t have something else to keep your mind on besides the shredding business. 🙂 Maybe the radio or something to watch on the computer…unless the cable system is your connection to the internet. :S Oy

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  9. To help motivate eat shredded wheat for breakfast for a week and then only twice a week after that. I don’t worry about shredding paper and documents anymore. Hopes and dreams were shredded by life so I seem to have a disdain for the concept.

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  11. LOL I have to shred sensitive documents as well since I do medical transcription from home, plus those credit card things you get in the mail. I have a shredder but if I wait too long (ahem) then I take a bag full to our local Office Depot. They will shred it for .99 a pound. Well worth it to me. I watch while they put it in the bin too so I know it’s getting done.

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  13. I’m curious what you don’t like about shredding? I just do it as it comes in – a piece or two at a time. When I moved and realized I had file drawers of things to shred, I sat and did it until the machine overheated and repeated that until I finally got rid of it all. It’s easier to do a little at a time.

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      4. That’s the thing…we are paperless. We receive an insane amount if stuff with our name and address and info on. Like museum things if we’ve been a member. Anything with an address should be shredded

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  14. I really don’t understand the “hate shedding thing”. I love it! I call it therapy! Really, it all started when I was going through my last divorce and nothing made me feel better (including therapy!) except shredding documents from the ex , his new wife, and all those happy looking pictures that really were never happy under the photo paper.
    So my suggestion is you can send me your shredding and when I really need to I will gladly do it for you!!! Saves me therapy costs and maybe you also!😂

    I really think the Office Depot thing is the best option and no shame in the best solution and then you no longer have that “bag” running your simple life.
    Happy shredding!!!

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  15. This is me offering a suggestion in a professional capacity without you asking for my advice. LOL. First, stop beating yourself up. Pneumonia did a great job of beating you up without you contributing to it. Second, kudos to you for making something you hate (shredding) into a daily habit. It’s part of what keeps your household under control. Remember, the clutter didn’t accumulate overnight and it won’t go away overnight. Try this: When you are shredding your new papers that come in, take some from your bag of shame. Do this for 5-10 minutes daily. Use a timer. Stick to it. It might be tempting to go over the time or to give up early. DON’T. The Bag of Shame will quickly reduce before you know it. That’s my unsolicited professional suggestion. 🙂

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  17. Last summer I had a three foot pile of papers to be shredded tucked away and hidden on the side of my desk. Like you, I was dreading tackling it, but began the long process. It was taking FOREVER so I had the brilliant idea of taking it out to our backyard fire pit and burning it. What a freakin debacle. Not being a patient person, I was shoving handfuls of paper in and not crumpling them up, so they weren’t burning, just smoking…a lot. And it was all blowing right to my neighbor’s house, and they understandablyweren’t happy. I went back to shredding.

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  18. time to seek out a fireplace and burn it. lol

    my kids took their homework from the last school year to their campsite and burnt it there. I approve, except until they went camping, the bag was here. irritating me each time I had to pass it, or step over it. or look at it on my way to elsewhere… but, it’s gone. they burnt it. 🙂

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  19. Before relocation, I was shredding continuously for weeks. In front of the TV, at breakfast table, on my bed and last but not the least, in my dreams! It was crazy…
    All the shred best and hope you can get started asap.

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  22. Do you have those commercial shredding companies around there? If I have a lot of shredding material (maybe from purging file drawers), I just take my full paper box to them. Easy peasy… and I don’t have to deal with it or look at it anymore (or, move it from place to place). If I pay a little bit more, I can watch them shred it just to be sure.

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  28. 😀 That a building is off centre viewed from a position where it SHOULD BE! Would drive me ‘insert word’ crazy as well, I thought the reason why I see anomalies such as these is because I’m an engineer……………. lol obviously not!!

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  30. I like the setting a timer deal. I hate dishes and I’ll do that when I’m behind. I have psoriasis in my hand so there are times when washing dishes is painful. Even with gloves on. I am definitely going to have a dishwasher in my next abode! Because of your internet/cable issue, you could work on your reading list while you’re shredding. Or put the shredder in the bathroom? You’re sitting still for a few minutes anyway.

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  36. Pingback: Bag of Shame – Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 – Empty Nest Man
  38. Pingback: Bag of Shame — Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 – Shredspiration

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