You all know my idea process by now: I get an idea, I jot it down in the next open space in my planner, I look at the idea the night before I’m going to write about it, and then, in the morning, I write. And I normally stick to this plan- I rarely change up an order or switch ideas- I just write what I planned to write about. Except for July 4.  I had written down an idea for July 4, but I realized that I wasn’t going to want to write a “real” post on July 4, so I moved the idea for July 4 to today.  Last night I looked at my idea, which was talking about how much I loved some quotes from the new Allison Pearson novel.  I then looked at the quotes I had bookmarked, to refresh my memory about what was special about them.  And in reading these quotes, I realized that so much of my writing the past two weeks has in some part been formed by these quotes. Subconsciously, I have been thinking about love and soul mates and many of the things I have touched on.  So for the third day in a row, I am going to talk a little about love.

Let’s start with one kind of love: book love.  Years ago, I found a writing soulmate in Allison Pearson, and her book “I Don’t Know How She Does It”.  The writing is real- it’s the same emotions and feelings many Mothers feel on a daily basis.  It is also clever, witty and laugh out loud funny at points.  And maybe Pearson’s next work disappointed me just a little, but when I opened up her new one, “How Hard Can it Be” I was instantly transported back to writers lust: I want to write like Allison Pearson.

Pearson manages to make me laugh and tug at my heartstrings all at the same time.  She makes me have emotion.  She makes me feel.  She makes me think.  This is it for me: novel perfection- emotion, feelings and thinking.  Did I say that I long to write like Allison Pearson?

“How Hard Can it Be” might be considered by some as a beach read- something light and fun to pass the time.  And it is light and fun and easy to read- but to call it that alone would be a disservice to writers who choose to entertain with their work.  I find that she really nails feelings about love better than most (certainly better than that insipid book I talked about the other day)

Quote 1: “That is the issue.  What matters is not who you go to bed with, but who you can talk to- I mean, really talk to- when you’re lying around afterward.”

Analysis- I actually used a similar line when I wrote my soulmate piece the other day.  I actually think about this exact subject a lot.  Intimate relationships require intimacy and communication.  If you have intimacy and communication, your relationship has the basic building blocks- if you don’t?  I don’t know- how’s that working out for you?

Quote 2: “But then there are all the minor reasons.  Like, you know, the thought of being happy for the rest of your life because you’re making the other person happy.  Giving them a chance to prove that they can do the same for you.  Peace on earth.  Justice for all.  The little things.”

Analysis- Isn’t that the essence of love?  Knowing that someone else is happy because you’re in their life? And yes, I know you have to start out with a happy person- no person can make you happy if you’re not- but when the thought of someone special puts a smile on your face for no other reason than that they exist in the same sphere as you?  I’m smiling right this very second just thinking about those I love, and love me in return.

Quote 3: “He loved me.  And I loved him.  Don’t we know within a few minutes of meeting someone if we have to adjust the frequency?  I knew instantly with him, we had our own wavelength (do not adjust your set) and I remember that burst of pure happiness.  Only very rarely do you get that sense, once or twice in a lifetime, if you’re lucky.  We were lucky.  Several billion people on the planet and we found each other.  How great is that?”

Analysis: Ok- obviously, though I didn’t recognize it at the time, this quote was running through my brain for probably a month now.  Amazing the subconscious, isn’t it?

Conclusion: At the root of everything there is love, or lack of love ( indifference or hate if you like those terms better).  Love drives us, even when we don’t realize we are thinking about it.  Love- hate- indifference. But mainly love. That’s the human experience all rolled up into a tight little ball.

24 thoughts on “It’s A Funny Thing About Love

    1. She’s really funny and clever and great on kids and relationships. The first book was made into a movie…sarah Jessica Parker and pierce brosnan

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  1. Yep. Even St. Paul says love is the crux of it all. The only reason to get up in the morning. Even if we don’t have a soulmate, what or who do we love? Who loves us? There is no other good reason to get up in the morning.

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  2. Love makes the world go round, as they used to say. It still does, just fewer people seem to understand that now. Never heard of this author but she certainly got you a’thinking so she must be a good one.

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    1. I think she’s funny and understated and clever. Talks about kids and marriage. I find a lot of her commentary spot on, though the new book makes some exaggerations, but all in all a fun, light read with heart and soul

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  3. I’ve had a fair :/ amount of casual sexual relationships devoid of any real emotional connection, as a consequence they went no where, fun yes but ultimately shallow and meaningless………… I’d take love and communication every time 🙂

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  4. Great thoughts! We’ve had company for weeks. I said to John that I missed our walks in the morning by ourselves. Others were with us. He agreed. That’s when we talk about all kinds of things, and it’s wonderful to start the day that way. We’ve been talking for almost 60 years without running out of words.

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  5. I’ve heard of the book “I Don’t Know How She Does It” but haven’t read it. Thanks for the recommendation. I can fully relate to having authors that I wish I could write like. For me, Elizabeth Berg has always held that honor and more recently, I’ve discovered others: Jenny Lawson and Tim Federle to name a few.

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    1. Love Elizabeth Berg!! Haven’t read the others but need a few books for vacation! I read I don’t…when I was an early mom and it really resonated with me, made me laugh, and made me feel a little less alone.

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    1. They’re very clever and understated. I read the first one when my daughter was younger, and it really made me feel like I was part of a community. I think she writes realistically.

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