I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently. Relentless Positivity. What is it you ask? Well, my definition is people who are consistently and wholeheartedly optimistic about all aspects of their lives. They are unicorns and rainbows 24/7.
I have some problems with this.
Why? What could be wrong with consistently having a go to attitude? Isn’t that great? Isn’t that how we all should be attacking life?
I fully admit that I have been monitoring, and documenting, the things that I am grateful for. Sometimes they are as small as getting a mango ice on a hot day, or as large as my friend receiving good news from her oncologist. I am often a little snarky about my list, but that’s just my personality- I tend to live life on the sarcastic side.
But just because I do a gratitude list doesn’t mean I’m eternally positive.
I get angry. I rant about things. I am sometimes not the nicest person in the world. I get sad. I can feel hurt. I have really crappy days where I just sit and have a good cry or a little tiny pity party. I accept this. I allow myself to feel the full range of emotions.
Everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.
Let me repeat that: everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.
I have been told that I shouldn’t let anger get the best of me. My question is why? Why can’t I be angry? Why can’t I be frustrated? Isn’t it worse to bottle my feelings away, to push them deep inside? Isn’t it better to get it out, be angry, be sad, be frustrated or whatever, and learn to deal with them?
Isn’t it better to learn how to deal with your emotions, whatever they may be?
See, that’s the trick: learning how to deal with the whole spectrum of emotions without letting one take over and dominate. No one should be happy all the time. No one should be angry all the time. No one should be any one thing all the time.
2018 has been the best year of my life. And as you know if you’ve been reading me this year, I have had set backs. I have gotten into arguments and disagreements with people. I have been full out pissed off. And I have dealt with all those emotions- written about them, discussed them with friends and relations, thought about them. I have put them into the perspective they deserve. I have had some crap, yet it has still been the best year of my life.
Why has it been the best year? Because I like myself more this year than last. Just like 2017 was better than 2016. And how 2019 will be better than this year.
I learn from my experiences, both the good and the bad. This makes me stronger. I have taken advantage of the opportunities that life puts in front of me- because you never know what’s going to happen. I have made new friends. I have been sparked creatively. I have been having a great time.
Life is good. But that doesn’t mean I’m all sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes my blog exudes positivity- sometimes my happiness just shines through, And sometimes my blog is negative, because, well, that’s just life. Somedays it is just hard to find the gold. And that’s OK.
Find the balance: be grateful for the good things, and learn how to handle the bad. And don’t ever think something is wrong with you because you’re not always relentlessly positive.
Great post – I’m a very positive person, but I’m also sarcastic and I also get mad about stuff. As you say, we have to allow ourselves to feel the full range of emotions and not be falsely positive. That will always backfire. I think the trick is to know how to bounce back – to be resilient – and to have a general sense that in the end, everything will work out, somehow. Of course, positive feelings tend to breed positive feelings and the reverse is also true. I guess it’s a balancing act, right?
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You’re exactly right…it’s about resiliency….you have to learn how to take the negative and deal with it. I think sometimes relentlessly positive people don’t always respond well to major set backs
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hello book club mom, I was inspired by your thoughtful post. You made a good mention bringing up someones resilience. I think we need an outlet to get rid of negative emotions. Or it will continue to get bigger. Some people take stimulants not saying its a good thing but maybe exercise would be a positive.
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Good post! Good inspiration this morning.
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Thanks!
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Nothing makes me more crazy than when I rant about something to a friend and they try to calm me down or insist on pointing out the positives. Sometimes I don’t want to hear the positives, I just want to blow off some steam.
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Omg exactly!! Sometimes I just want to rant. I already know the positives and such, but it actually makes me feel better to let it all out.
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The notion that ‘being happy’ means that you are constantly, relentlessly happy has always baffled me. It’s not our nature to always be one thing. We’re going to be angry and sad and happy and bored at some point. Why this desire to always be cheerful?
Though, it seems that women especially are “supposed” to be happy all the time and not get angry. Angry women are apparently unattractive. Also, powerful. And they frighten small-minded men…
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You hit on so many spot on points!! Why can’t we be angry? Why can’t we be mad and talk about it? And why are men afraid of strong women who have emotions?? That’s a blog!!
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there’s a balance to life isn’t there. The greatest joys are often after the biggest sorrows. It all just needs to be embraced.
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Thanks for your honesty and acceptance! It’s very bothersome that social media has led many to believe that everyone leads a perfect life. It’s just not true……
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I know!! People have problems and issues and feelings, but that doesn’t mean they’re not happy in general. They just have feelings!!
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So agree with all the sentiments in your post, but I do think it takes time to learn how to handle your emotions. One of the benefits of ageing, perhaps? 🙂
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That’s why this has been best year yet…and next year more…I’m learning how to handle stuff!!
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I get angry. What the family doesn’t understand is the the anger is a result of accumulative stupidity, which they don’t see.
I’m working on it. 😜
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As long as were aware and it doesn’t take over our lives, it’s all good! I thought if you when I wrote this post cause we’ve talked about this relentless concept
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I struggle with the anger. It can be all consuming. But sometimes it’s hormonally influenced too. I work on watching for triggers. 🙄
We’re a lot alike!!
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Yes we are!!😉 I find that I explode, and then 10minutes later I’m fine!!
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Probably sunshine and rainbows are more angry than u can imagine 😂😂
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True….
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Somewhere I heard or read that we need to feel the full range of emotions if we are to fully feel. If we repress the “bad” emotions, we inhibit our ability to feel the fullness of the good ones. We numb ourselves. Of course, feeling an emotion doesn’t mean we have to express it. There’s a difference between feeling anger or frustration and acting on them. I’m with you that each year gets better!
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I just hate when people tell me to let go of negativity before I’m ready to let go of it. Sometimes there are positives to anger and sadness and other “bad” emotions. And I know what you mean…you can be angry at another driver, but road rage is never acceptable
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Yaaaaay! Clap, clap, clap! 🙂
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😀
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Wonderful philosophy. I do like to be on the positive more than the negative side because constant negativity is so draining but there are definitely some things that can push my button and I’m not afraid to show it.
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I agree.positive is better, but it’s ok to be in all sides
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I hear you, on all points. I have a range of emotions, and enjoying reading blogs expressing people’s honest feelings.
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I like the honest one too. They make me feel I’m not alone
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I so agree with this. I’ve tried to remain positive through obstacles of life, but it is totally fine to be angry or sad. In fact, it’s healthy! A good balance of emotions makes someone stable in my opinion. Great post! 😊
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Exactly. I try to remain positive, but sometimes….you have to go the emotion you’re feeling at the time
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Bad times or stressful times make me appreciate the boring times
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Totally right!!
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There’s the buddhist concept of ‘liberation upon arising’ that is really practical: a feeling comes up, you feel it, it lasts as long as it lasts, and then it goes away since there is no resistance or supressing it. It is perfectly natural, and also is not an excuse to lash out at people or to do harm: feeling feelings is much different than taking action based on them.
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Totally agree that you’re allowed to feel the feeling, but you can’t act out in senseless anger…no road rage etc. but you have to experience the feeling, and get rid of it in a healthy manner
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Living ones daily life relentlessly consistently and wholeheartedly optimistic seems very close to having a personality disorder! Oh and I love your down to earth gentle sarcasm.
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Thank you!! Where would I be without sarcasm?
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I’m weird when it comes to emotions. Yes, I have them, and yes, they can be intense at times, but they are (at least for me) private things, and not for public ‘consumption.’
I give nobody a shit-show for free.
Then again, I also have to sit, in private, with any particular intense emotional registration to recognize it for what it is, and dissect the situation which caused the emotion to occur. Toss a highly volatile bit of information at me, and I will generally tell you ‘I’ll get back to you next week on how I feel about that.’ I HAVE to go through that detailed an analysis first.
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It’s fine to keep them to yourself, cause that’s your prerogative and you are recognizing the feeling. I’m more worried about people who think they always need to be happy. I also don’t like the people who insist that you shouldn’t be angry, annoyed whatever. Like when you’re walking down the street and someone says “you should try smiling”…
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Oddly enough, I don’t often get people who actually talk to me on the street. The combination of headphones, eye contact, and RBF (Resting Bitch Face) usually deter those who would otherwise initiate conversation.
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I do the headphone thing too…and sunglasses. I’m betting people think I’m a celebrity…😝
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Love this so much!
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❤️😀❤️😀❤️😀
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I consider myself a positive person and try to stay cautiously optimistic on most things. Like they say, there are two kinds of people. Those who say they can, and those who say they can’t. They’re both right.
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Well put….
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I think I favour being myself. There’s a kind of balance I feel knowing that I can react any way I want to, depending on the situation or circumstance. I let the emotions flow. Nothing out of control or destructive. Just being me. Whether crying, laughing, angry, loving, whatever, it’s the same me. No problems!
Great post!👍👍
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Thank you for the positive comment and great outlook!!
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You are welcome!
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You are so right, the trick is balance. You are going to be a one dimensional person if you only experience one emotion. I have the feeling that people who are rainbows, sunshine and unicorns in public are not always that way and it is a shame that they need to hide their true emotions all the time.
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Especially with the people close to you!! You should be able to share with the ones you care about
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❤️ This is perfect! Great post.
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Thank you!!
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That’s why people are positive all the time, they learned that they have a choice… get angry or try and see the positive in something and if there is no positive in that thing, then just let it go, because anger causes stress which is bad for our health.
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Look I don’t want to put too fine a point on this… Those people who are positive all the time are psycho. It’s fake. They cannot be trusted. This negativity I’m projecting right now lets you know that I, on the other hand, *can* be trusted because I know how to be negative when it’s warranted. Such as when considering those crazy psycho happy all the time people.
😀
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And this is why I like you!!!😀❤️😀❤️
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I listened to a podcast about just this recently. It was really griping these women and rightly so. It’s not normal to be like this 24/7 . Social media particularly IG is terrible for promoting it.
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I agree. The instagram perfect life is just a myth. It’s unrealistic to be happy all the time
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It must be a very boring life to be happy all the time. 🙂 Without the sad, angry, desperate times, how do you know you are happy?
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I’m with you!
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I agree. I’m not into being all sunshine and sparkles. I have a family member who is like that. Bugs the &^#* out of me. Because it’s not based in reality. Life is good, is my motto, but I don’t need to stick my head in the sand and say, “Gee, it’s cool in here, Ma.”
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I was reading this comment when I was on the elliptical and I laughed so hard I thought I was going to fall off! Bravo!!
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Amen! Even the happiest life has its moments of darkness and despair, and bad stuff happens to all of us. It’s ridiculous to think we can be positive all the time, and dishonest to pretend that we are. I think it’s almost as bad to be relentlessly positive as it is to be relentlessly gloomy and angry!
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I agree! To be 100% any emotion is just odd…we’re supposed to be filled with different emotions. And I think dishonest is the exact right word…but those people are most disheartening next with themselves
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I have included your blog in INTERESTING BLOGS in FRIDAY FOSSICKING at
https://thatmomentintime-crissouli.blogspot.com/2018/07/friday-fossicking-13th-july-2018.html
Thank you, Chris
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I loved this…
“Everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.”
So true!! Enjoyed this very much.
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Thank you!!
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Most of the time I am pretty positive (or at least refuse to let myself dwell on negativity for too long) but I can be sarcastic, even downright mean sometimes! My husband jokes about my birth sign (i’m a Gemini) and says he’s seen my evil twin and yes, she is a bitch. haha
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Wow…they I was supposed to be a Gemini….there’s nothing wrong with being generally happy and positive….but to always have a smile? Doesn’t compute
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I love Unicorns and Rainbows. xxx
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I do too! It’s just that I think there are people who feel really bad about themselves because they think everyone else has a happy perfect life. I just want people to know it’s ok to have a really lousy day
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There is no way of knowing what people’s lives are really like unless they choose to talk, or write about it. We cannot believe everything we think. It’s okay to feel all the feels. Thank you for sharing. xx
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Xo❤️❤️
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Thanks for accepting and following my blog.
I’m available to read your post at my convenient time.
You have such an interesting topic I will love to read in
your blog.
I still remain the simple blogger…..
#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤
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Thanks for the kind words.
As I view it, what you are doing is equally impressive.
I recommend that my followers follow you as well.
I believe that there is a calling for authors, bloggers, and artists to provide a more sincere channel of communication through writing.
Keep it going. I know how challenging it is to write every day, but we do it with good intent and passion. That makes it joyous.
I am always touched when my sweet messages like this reach someone. Sincere thanks. What a good positive writing that can motivate one this morning.
Happy Sunday
Enjoy
Warm regards, Patrick
#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤
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I completely agree with you! We are made to feel that if we aren’t always positive then we aren’t living life properly. But allowing ourselves feel ALL our emotions let’s us fully process every situation we are in and creates better feedback mechanisms for these situations
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Also, we shouldn’t automatically try to wash away a bad emotion…sometimes it’s better to get it all out and then you almost feel cleansed
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emotions are a funny thing, constantly changing. all in all life is beautiful. this was a unique topic. Inspiring now you sent me on a rabbit hole.
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maybe the answer is to just be.
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I’m big on sending people, most usually myself, down a rabbit hole…
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it’s a very cool gift. gives people there hands full when free time is available!
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True!
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