I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently.  Relentless Positivity.  What is it you ask?  Well, my definition is people who are consistently and wholeheartedly optimistic about all aspects of their lives.  They are unicorns and rainbows 24/7.

I have some problems with this.

Why?  What could be wrong with consistently having a go to attitude?  Isn’t that great?  Isn’t that how we all should be attacking life?

I fully admit that I have been monitoring, and documenting, the things that I am grateful for.  Sometimes they are as small as getting a mango ice on a hot day, or as large as my friend receiving good news from her oncologist.  I am often a little snarky about my list, but that’s just my personality- I tend to live life on the sarcastic side.

But just because I do a gratitude list doesn’t mean I’m eternally positive.

I get angry.  I rant about things.  I am sometimes not the nicest person in the world. I get sad.  I can feel hurt.  I have really crappy days where I just sit and have a good cry or a little tiny pity party. I accept this.  I allow myself to feel the full range of emotions.

Everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.

Let me repeat that: everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.

I have been told that I shouldn’t let anger get the best of me.  My question is why?  Why can’t I be angry?  Why can’t I be frustrated?  Isn’t it worse to bottle my feelings away, to push them deep inside?  Isn’t it better to get it out, be angry, be sad, be frustrated or whatever, and learn to deal with them?

Isn’t it better to learn how to deal with your emotions, whatever they may be?

See, that’s the trick: learning how to deal with the whole spectrum of emotions without letting one take over and dominate.  No one should be happy all the time.  No one should be angry all the time.  No one should be any one thing all the time.

2018 has been the best year of my life.  And as you know if you’ve been reading me this year, I have had set backs.  I have gotten into arguments and disagreements with people.  I have been full out pissed off.  And I have dealt with all those emotions- written about them, discussed them with friends and relations, thought about them.  I have put them into the perspective they deserve.  I have had some crap, yet it has still been the best year of my life.

Why has it been the best year?  Because I like myself more this year than last.  Just like 2017 was better than 2016.  And how 2019 will be better than this year.

I learn from my experiences, both the good and the bad.  This makes me stronger.  I have  taken advantage of the opportunities that life puts in front of me- because you never know what’s going to happen.  I have made new friends.  I have been sparked creatively.  I have been having a great time.

Life is good. But that doesn’t mean I’m all sunshine and rainbows.

Sometimes my blog exudes positivity- sometimes my happiness just shines through,  And sometimes my blog is negative, because, well, that’s just life.  Somedays it is just hard to find the gold.  And that’s OK.

Find the balance: be grateful for the good things, and learn how to handle the bad.  And don’t ever think something is wrong with you because you’re not always relentlessly positive.

 

 

 

81 thoughts on “Relentless Positivity”

  1. Great post – I’m a very positive person, but I’m also sarcastic and I also get mad about stuff. As you say, we have to allow ourselves to feel the full range of emotions and not be falsely positive. That will always backfire. I think the trick is to know how to bounce back – to be resilient – and to have a general sense that in the end, everything will work out, somehow. Of course, positive feelings tend to breed positive feelings and the reverse is also true. I guess it’s a balancing act, right?

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    1. You’re exactly right…it’s about resiliency….you have to learn how to take the negative and deal with it. I think sometimes relentlessly positive people don’t always respond well to major set backs

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    2. hello book club mom, I was inspired by your thoughtful post. You made a good mention bringing up someones resilience. I think we need an outlet to get rid of negative emotions. Or it will continue to get bigger. Some people take stimulants not saying its a good thing but maybe exercise would be a positive.

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  4. The notion that ‘being happy’ means that you are constantly, relentlessly happy has always baffled me. It’s not our nature to always be one thing. We’re going to be angry and sad and happy and bored at some point. Why this desire to always be cheerful?

    Though, it seems that women especially are “supposed” to be happy all the time and not get angry. Angry women are apparently unattractive. Also, powerful. And they frighten small-minded men…

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    1. You hit on so many spot on points!! Why can’t we be angry? Why can’t we be mad and talk about it? And why are men afraid of strong women who have emotions?? That’s a blog!!

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  5. Thanks for your honesty and acceptance! It’s very bothersome that social media has led many to believe that everyone leads a perfect life. It’s just not true……

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    1. As long as were aware and it doesn’t take over our lives, it’s all good! I thought if you when I wrote this post cause we’ve talked about this relentless concept

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  9. Somewhere I heard or read that we need to feel the full range of emotions if we are to fully feel. If we repress the “bad” emotions, we inhibit our ability to feel the fullness of the good ones. We numb ourselves. Of course, feeling an emotion doesn’t mean we have to express it. There’s a difference between feeling anger or frustration and acting on them. I’m with you that each year gets better!

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    1. I just hate when people tell me to let go of negativity before I’m ready to let go of it. Sometimes there are positives to anger and sadness and other “bad” emotions. And I know what you mean…you can be angry at another driver, but road rage is never acceptable

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  11. Wonderful philosophy. I do like to be on the positive more than the negative side because constant negativity is so draining but there are definitely some things that can push my button and I’m not afraid to show it.

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  13. I so agree with this. I’ve tried to remain positive through obstacles of life, but it is totally fine to be angry or sad. In fact, it’s healthy! A good balance of emotions makes someone stable in my opinion. Great post! 😊

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  15. There’s the buddhist concept of ‘liberation upon arising’ that is really practical: a feeling comes up, you feel it, it lasts as long as it lasts, and then it goes away since there is no resistance or supressing it. It is perfectly natural, and also is not an excuse to lash out at people or to do harm: feeling feelings is much different than taking action based on them.

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    1. Totally agree that you’re allowed to feel the feeling, but you can’t act out in senseless anger…no road rage etc. but you have to experience the feeling, and get rid of it in a healthy manner

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  17. I’m weird when it comes to emotions. Yes, I have them, and yes, they can be intense at times, but they are (at least for me) private things, and not for public ‘consumption.’

    I give nobody a shit-show for free.

    Then again, I also have to sit, in private, with any particular intense emotional registration to recognize it for what it is, and dissect the situation which caused the emotion to occur. Toss a highly volatile bit of information at me, and I will generally tell you ‘I’ll get back to you next week on how I feel about that.’ I HAVE to go through that detailed an analysis first.

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    1. It’s fine to keep them to yourself, cause that’s your prerogative and you are recognizing the feeling. I’m more worried about people who think they always need to be happy. I also don’t like the people who insist that you shouldn’t be angry, annoyed whatever. Like when you’re walking down the street and someone says “you should try smiling”…

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  19. I consider myself a positive person and try to stay cautiously optimistic on most things. Like they say, there are two kinds of people. Those who say they can, and those who say they can’t. They’re both right.

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  20. I think I favour being myself. There’s a kind of balance I feel knowing that I can react any way I want to, depending on the situation or circumstance. I let the emotions flow. Nothing out of control or destructive. Just being me. Whether crying, laughing, angry, loving, whatever, it’s the same me. No problems!

    Great post!👍👍

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  21. You are so right, the trick is balance. You are going to be a one dimensional person if you only experience one emotion. I have the feeling that people who are rainbows, sunshine and unicorns in public are not always that way and it is a shame that they need to hide their true emotions all the time.

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  23. That’s why people are positive all the time, they learned that they have a choice… get angry or try and see the positive in something and if there is no positive in that thing, then just let it go, because anger causes stress which is bad for our health.

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  24. Look I don’t want to put too fine a point on this… Those people who are positive all the time are psycho. It’s fake. They cannot be trusted. This negativity I’m projecting right now lets you know that I, on the other hand, *can* be trusted because I know how to be negative when it’s warranted. Such as when considering those crazy psycho happy all the time people.
    😀

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  25. I listened to a podcast about just this recently. It was really griping these women and rightly so. It’s not normal to be like this 24/7 . Social media particularly IG is terrible for promoting it.

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  27. I agree. I’m not into being all sunshine and sparkles. I have a family member who is like that. Bugs the &^#* out of me. Because it’s not based in reality. Life is good, is my motto, but I don’t need to stick my head in the sand and say, “Gee, it’s cool in here, Ma.”

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  28. Amen! Even the happiest life has its moments of darkness and despair, and bad stuff happens to all of us. It’s ridiculous to think we can be positive all the time, and dishonest to pretend that we are. I think it’s almost as bad to be relentlessly positive as it is to be relentlessly gloomy and angry!

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    1. I agree! To be 100% any emotion is just odd…we’re supposed to be filled with different emotions. And I think dishonest is the exact right word…but those people are most disheartening next with themselves

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  31. Most of the time I am pretty positive (or at least refuse to let myself dwell on negativity for too long) but I can be sarcastic, even downright mean sometimes! My husband jokes about my birth sign (i’m a Gemini) and says he’s seen my evil twin and yes, she is a bitch. haha

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    1. Wow…they I was supposed to be a Gemini….there’s nothing wrong with being generally happy and positive….but to always have a smile? Doesn’t compute

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    1. I do too! It’s just that I think there are people who feel really bad about themselves because they think everyone else has a happy perfect life. I just want people to know it’s ok to have a really lousy day

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      1. There is no way of knowing what people’s lives are really like unless they choose to talk, or write about it. We cannot believe everything we think. It’s okay to feel all the feels. Thank you for sharing. xx

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  33. Thanks    for accepting and following my blog.

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    #PATRICKSTORIES
    Peace ✌and Love ❤

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  34. Thanks for the kind words.

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    I recommend that my followers follow you as well.

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    Keep it going. I know how challenging it is to write every day, but we do it with good intent and passion. That makes it joyous.

    I am always touched when my sweet messages like this reach someone. Sincere thanks. What a good positive writing that can motivate one this morning.

    Happy Sunday
    Enjoy

    Warm regards, Patrick

    #PATRICKSTORIES
    Peace ✌and Love ❤

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  35. I completely agree with you! We are made to feel that if we aren’t always positive then we aren’t living life properly. But allowing ourselves feel ALL our emotions let’s us fully process every situation we are in and creates better feedback mechanisms for these situations

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  36. Pingback: Never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something… – raynotbradbury

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