A few weeks ago I had a crisis of faith, of sorts: I didn’t know if I wanted to continue blogging. I hit a point where I sat down, looked at my computer and thought “Why?” Why am I doing this? Where’s the satisfaction? Am I getting what I want/need out of this time expenditure?
I immediately thought back to a statistic that I had read: average blogger life is 18 months. I was only at a year: was I below average? The competitive part of me could only think about how I only needed to blog for six more months and then I would be “above average”. But was that a good enough reason to continue blogging? To beat a statistic that I’m not even sure of its validity?
I told my friend SF that I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I felt like the words pouring out of me were meaningless. Did it matter what I said? Was anyone really listening to what I was trying to say? I went to the dark side of the writing – the side that questions the very decision to put words on paper. Did my writing matter?
I didn’t blog for two days.
Then a funny thing happened. I’m sure my friends K and G would say there was some sort of cosmic significance here at work. I ran into an old friend that I hadn’t spoken to for awhile. While playing catch up 20 questions, I explained my blog. And in explaining my blog, I sort of remembered all the things I loved about writing every day. How much I enjoyed interacting with all my blog friends. How much joy I got out of forming an idea and thinking of a way to put it on paper, and then sending those thoughts to the whole internet world wide thing.
As K and G would say, you put the question out there, and then the answer comes to you.
So, I’m going to continue blogging. I going to continue to think about topics and how to formulate them. I’m going to keep thinking about, well, lets go with everything, cause I never know what is going to pop into my head on any given day. But, as we’re always evolving, things may change. I know my summer blogs will change a bit just due to time away and such. And maybe the fall will usher in new ways of doing things so I can keep my mind fresh. But for now, I’m going to get up in the morning, feed the pets, go to the gym, and write my blog.
Thanks for listening.