A few weeks ago I had a crisis of faith, of sorts: I didn’t know if I wanted to continue blogging.  I hit a point where I sat down, looked at my computer and thought “Why?”  Why am I doing this?  Where’s the satisfaction? Am I getting what I want/need out of this time expenditure?

I immediately thought back to a statistic that I had read: average blogger life is 18 months. I was only at a year: was I below average?  The competitive part of me could only think about how I only needed to blog for six more months and then I would be “above average”.  But was that a good enough reason to continue blogging?  To beat a statistic that I’m not even sure of its validity?

I told my friend SF that I wasn’t sure what I was doing.  I felt like the words pouring out of me were meaningless.  Did it matter what I said?  Was anyone really listening to what I was trying to say?  I went to the dark side of the writing – the side that questions the very decision to put words on paper.  Did my writing matter?

I didn’t blog for two days.

Then a funny thing happened.  I’m sure my friends K and G would say there was some sort of cosmic significance here at work.  I ran into an old friend that I hadn’t spoken to for awhile.  While  playing catch up 20 questions, I explained my blog.  And in explaining my blog, I sort of remembered all the things I loved about writing every day.  How much I enjoyed interacting with all my blog friends.  How much joy I got out of forming an idea and thinking of a way to put it on paper, and then sending those thoughts to the whole internet world wide thing.

As K and G would say, you put the question out there, and then the answer comes to you.

So, I’m going to continue blogging.  I going to continue to think about topics and how to formulate them.  I’m going to keep thinking about, well, lets go with everything, cause I never know what is going to pop into my head on any given day.  But, as we’re always evolving, things may change.  I know my summer blogs will change a bit just due to time away and such. And maybe the fall will usher in new ways of doing things so I can keep my mind fresh.  But for now, I’m going to get up in the morning, feed the pets, go to the gym, and write my blog.

Thanks for listening.

 

68 thoughts on “The Fork in the Road”

  1. I’m glad you’re sticking with it. I have had so many on and off phases over the years (currently an off) but something keeps me from hitting that “delete your blog” button. I love reading about other peoples lives, triumphs and even the hard things because of that wide connection blogging brings.

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    1. Thank you! Sometimes you do need to step back to see what’s right in front of you! I needed to refocus my perspective. And of course, we all need to evolve!!

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  2. I ask myself that question all of the time…Why do I keep blogging? I’ve been doing this for over 3 years now. I’ve seen a lot of good writers come and go. But I’m still here… To me this is more than just a hobby…it is healing. Everyone asks ever now and then…Is this worth my limited time? Most of the time, the answer is yes. That it why I stay. Plus I love the friendships made and getting a glimpse of the lives of other people. 🙂

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      1. Nothing wrong with that! A lot of bloggers seem to post less after the first year (apparently not me). I think that is better than disappearing completely. What’s hardest is when bloggers leave without saying anything. People care about you over time whether you realize it or not.

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  5. yay! glad you’ll still be here. Love your blog.
    I have the same thoughts myself —– why do I continue to do this? Does anyone really give a shit about a middle aged, fat, alcoholic gal? I tend to think not, until I find someone else who decided to follow me.

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  8. I have been blogging for over 18 years (started out on another platform) and have had more than my fair share of self-doubt. But then I realise that I don’t do it for the others, but for myself and enjoy what I do. It is therapeutic and fulfilling, and yes, we will always have days when we have no idea what to write about, and that is perfectly fine as well. Styles and points of interest will change over the years, depending on your personal situation, but there will always be something to inspire you that day.

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  12. Been there; done that. At least once a week I ask myself what the heck I’m doing. Myself answers back, “You’re surviving. Besides, you’ve got nothing else going on.” Myself is a bit of a smartass.

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  13. I think we all hit this roadblock. It’s a lot like writer’s block, too, in a way. I took a week long break and while yeah it was weird it was much needed. I’m a competitive person as well so I understand the need to constantly produce something and have reasons why and so on and so forth. It can be a bit much. But your writing does matter. I love having the opportunity to hear from you. ♥️ I think bloggers need to focus more on what makes them happy and stop projecting. Trust me, it’s hard. Write from the heart and know someone out there is experiencing resonation from your words. Even if it’s just one person. Most importantly, do what you want and need to do. Be happy, my friend! 🌼

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    1. It’s funny you said that, because I knew there was one person I made feel better with a particular blog, and you’re right, knowing you made one persons day a little bit better says it all!!

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  15. If you didn’t have a crisis of faith you wouldn’t be a true blogger. I’ve found that when I’ve hit those moments when I’m ready to give up on blogging, I do something different in my blog– and the mojo is back.

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  16. So glad you decided to continue to send your thoughts out in space to us all. I am taken aback that you would think that you should stop. My blogs don’t have anywhere near your followers and I get the feeling that no one is listening or cares about my views but I am holding out hope. Don’t give up.

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  18. While I hope you won’t, I think you’re soon to quit. I say so because you still refer to your writing efforts, as blogging. Putting the delivery platform before the written content gives me clue. The venue (blogging) suggest a popular false front, so no matter how well constructed the paragraph, the work feels home grown and amateurish. (anyone can write a BLOG) BS.

    And you’ve been riding some audience participation. And that’s good and well earned, but from top down, it’s beginning to feel a bit mutual back patting. And therein lies the conundrum. Risk a hard-won readership with more pointed and contentious give and take, or stay the course of, me too.

    I humbly suggest your you may find the following helpful:

    SEE WHAT CAN BE DONE
    Essays, Criticism, and Commentary
    By Lorrie Moore

    There are a bevy of recent reviews.

    Regards,
    r.douglas

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    1. I will check out that book….I vaguely remember reading something about lorrie Moore…. well, everything becomes a mutual admiration society after awhile, which I’m ok with, because there’s enough discord in the world to grow around. I think that if I write honestly, it will resonate with some people, and I always feel that if I make just one person feel not so alone or different, then I had a good day….but that being said, there are a lot of people who don’t appreciate my honesty. And they get mad that I don’t back down…so….there are also those who want to “change” me and tell me to do things in other ways….and that’s annoying because no one should tell someone else to change their behavior…but now I’m ranting…regards!! And thanks as always for well thought out comments

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  19. Nothing wrong with taking a hiatus…I started blogging when my 13yo was a baby. This is my 3rd blog….and my most prosperous, in terms of dialogue and writing style! But everyone hits forks in the road. You could always take a break but keep active by inviting a guest blogger. Or give your daughter the keyboard and have her type something (which she did before). One day it’ll hit you and then you’ll come back refreshed and blogging again.
    At least that’s my experience. 🙃

    Besides, I’d miss reading you. ♥

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  20. I discovered your blog by accident a couple of days ago and I just connected with it. I love your writing style and even though I’m a total stranger, a lot of what you say resonates so strongly for me. I am glad you’re writing, and I hope you continue to do so!

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  21. Brava!!
    Reading your blog means a great deal to me. I connect with your words and look forward to reading each day!
    Not that it’s enough to make you continue to write, but it’s real and you should know.

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  24. I don’t know if it helps but I find your blogs very well written and easy to read. I certainly think you’re making the right choice continuing. I couldn’t imagine blogging every day. I put several hours into drafting, rewriting, editing, and advertising just two blogs a week.

    I totally get where you are coming from though. I’ve been doing this for several months and it would be nice to have someone look at my writing and say “yes, you have a knack for this” or “no you don’t”. You definately have a knack for it!

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  25. I am so glad you are going to carry on. Your posts are so relateable and full of great content that you seem to find regularly ! That’ s not easy I am already finding …and not to mention time to do it. So yes a big thank you from me for keeping going and sharing your world 😊😊

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  29. I think you expressed something that every blogger has felt at one point or another. Honestly, when you don’t write, I wonder what’s wrong. You’ve set an incredibly high standard for yourself writing a daily blog. Most people can’t do that with any sort of quality, but yours are always well written and hold my interest. I can’t put that sort of pressure on myself because I would instantly resent my blog. I post when the spirit moves me, but I commend you for your focus and discipline. Keep up the great work.

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  30. For the past month or so, I’ve been feeling exactly as you described, and so I can relate! I’m glad you are finding your writing worth while and that you’ll keep blogging. I enjoy reading your life stories. 🙂

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  31. I love reading your writing, please don’t stop, I’d miss you. Your words flow naturally and are easy to read. You are amazing at being able to blog as often as you do, I feel lucky to get my one blog a month out, you are a natural! 😉 I like knowing I’m not alone in this world.

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  32. I’m so glad you decided to keep going. There’s so much interaction on your blog. I enjoy your posts. They resonate with me. If I suddenly stopped seeing it I would say to myself…hey, where’s LA? 😊

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  33. While I am relatively new to this space, as you say, my shelf life left is still about 6 months to hit the average. I too at times, wonder, why am I doing this? My kiddie take maybe interests only me as my experiences with my kids is still refreshing to me , why write on this. But then I think that why I got down to doing this is because only I wanted to express myself..if along the way, it may be useful or insightful to some, great! Else, will somehow keep my drive going for my own satisfaction!

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