In early June, Husband went on a “boy’s trip” to the Bahamas to celebrate his and his friends 50th birthdays. (Yes- he’s 4 1/2 years younger- just call me Cougar…) Now to be obvious, if he is away for six days, I am home with my daughter and the pets for six days. Now, some people don’t like being the one stuck at home while the other is off having fun. Some people miss having their partner around to help with the household stuff.
I am not one of those people.
For the most part, things run smoothly around my house on any given day. They run even more smoothly when Husband is away. He has this annoying habit of coming home from work, putting papers on the dining room table, his work clothes on my desk, and leaving his keys in one spot and his sunglasses somewhere else. (FYI- we have a key bowl on the console when you walk into the apartment) When he’s away I spend zero hours looking for things he has misplaced. This is a good thing.
As my daughter is 16, she is fairly self sufficient. She is also very busy. I normally don’t see her much during the week: her post school hours are filled with homework, activities and her tutoring job. On the weekends our goal is to spend some sort of quality time together- but as it happens- that was not to be that particular weekend. She had end of year exams to contend with, as well as a concert and a birthday lunch for a friend. I was completely free.
At first, the thought of a completely family free weekend was daunting. What would I do? I knew I had a luncheon on Saturday, so my afternoon would be taken up. And Sunday I wanted to head to the Botanic Garden for rose weekend. But, I don’t usually go to rose weekend by myself: I normally go with Husband and/or daughter. Should I go alone? Should I ask a friend?
I ended up going alone. I rode the train to the botanic garden stop by myself, reading a book as the areas of the Bronx whizzed by the window. I do a lot of things by myself, so I didn’t understand why this particular trip felt different, yet it did. I felt slightly self conscious as I stood on line to buy my ticket to enter the garden and I saw that everyone else was in duos or trios. I took my map and solo navigated the areas I wanted to look at, checking the what’s in bloom section. And I set off to the rose garden.
I felt a bit lonely: for about 10 seconds. As soon as I took my camera out of my cross body bag and strapped my camera around my neck I relaxed. I started taking pictures of all the gorgeous foliage, and I was lost in my own world. Turns out, the botanic garden is the perfect place to go by yourself. Even though it was an overcast/drizzly sort of day, I spent far more time at the garden than I do when I am with my family.
I was alone, but I wasn’t lonely. I was happy.
What’s the point, you ask?
It’s nice to be with someone, and to enjoy another’s company, but you need to be happy by yourself. You need to be able to stand your own company without a buffer. You don’t always need to be surrounded by others to have a good time.
So…spend some time by yourself. You are worth it.