I recently read something along the lines of “You should let people help you because that means you care about yourself.” (FYI- from a magazine article not a blog)
I’m not sure how I feel about this statement. So I’m going to write a few hundred pithy (hopefully) words about what this statement means to me. I get what the writer was aiming for: in a world where women do too much, they need to ask for help. I know that the family work flow is often tilted towards a woman, with women doing the lion share of household duties.
Is it fair to say that women who do not ask for help don’t care about themselves? What is the correlation? Why don’t women ask for help? Let’s write a list of possible reasons why women don’t ask for help:
- It’s just easier to do it themselves
- they like it done a certain way
- they don’t trust someone else to actually get it done
- they don’t have anyone else to help them
- they don’t want to bother someone else
- they are the only one that knows how to do something
Do any of these statements directly correlate to women not caring about themselves?
I am not a fan of blanket statements that assume that all people that do X are Y. (unless I’m making the statement) There is a tendency to categorize and label people, and this is a problem. Why do we go out of our way to make if/then statements? Shouldn’t each individual be treated as just that, an individual? Sure, there might be some women who don’t ask for help because they feel unworthy, but to categorize the entire bunch? And what about the opposite thought: What does it say if someone asks for help all the time?
I have much more to say about this topic (shocking…) but I’m going to split it up into instalments because otherwise the post would be all over the place, with less cohesion than I normally have.
Does not asking for help mean that you don’t care about yourself? (and you can cite men or women)