I am often quick to anger.  Little things annoy me.  I’ve been working on correcting this problem, and I really feel I’m getting better.  Let’s start with an example.

On Sunday mornings, I take a 9:15 body conditioning class (weights).  I love this class and the teacher- you sort of need to if you consistently go to a Sunday morning class.  Now T usually enters the classroom at exactly 9:15, and starts barking out orders as he sets up the music.  We’re used to this.  A few weeks ago, T was late.  Five minutes.  10 minutes.  He’s never that late, and the rare times he can’t make class he always gets a sub.  People in the class started complaining.  One woman was really really going nuts.  Cursing him out.  Stomping her feet.  Whining.

Don’t get me wrong: I was a little perturbed.  But this was not a normal occurrence at all.  I couldn’t bring myself to get that mad.  In my mind, things happen.  You can’t control everything.

Twenty minutes late. Half the class was gone, including whiny stomper. I was still there, doing my own weights workout.  Biceps, triceps, shoulders.  Doing the exercises I wanted to do that day.  At 9:40, my patience was rewarded.  T showed up.  Turns out, the NYC half marathon was that day:  street closures were massive.  He had trouble getting downtown to the gym.  Even though we only had a half hour, he gave an awesome class, and I felt I got a really good workout.  Score one for me and my good attitude.

However, I was not totally nice and patient at the gym that morning.  When I entered the class to set up my station, I went to get a mat.  Someone had draped their coat on the rack that holds the mats.  The mats are a bit of a pain to grab under optimal circumstances (ie- nothing on top of them) so I was just a tad annoyed (I may have stomped and whined)

When class was finished I began to put my equipment away.  Bench, weights, mat…..When I went to put the mat away, the errant coat was still there on the rack.  I was a little peeved and a lot passive aggressive.  I put my mat over the coat.  The person behind me put her mat over my mat, over the coat.  And so on, until you couldn’t even see the coat.

So take away the point that I gave myself.  I ended the day flat.

I’m still a work in progress.

33 thoughts on “Breath….

  1. I’m so like that too. Quick to anger. I blame it on menopause. Counseling and accupuncture help but sometimes I’m set off and that’s it. You get my wrath. People need to realize you shouldn’t do things to piss off women over 50. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Counseling really helped me with figuring out my trigger points and learning what makes me pissed. (Sometimes it’s someone breathing). It has helped me learn what to do in those situations. I’m much more aware of where I am emotionally.

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      2. 🙂 I agree. My trigger points are stupid people and there are two at work ( the third one got walked out a couple of weeks ago!). I try to stay away but sometimes that is impossible and I count to ten alot.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t get angry, frustrated but somehow that response seems alien to me. After peritoneal surgery when I was 19 I was very sad and upset and went into a hospital stairwell to vent. That was the closest and despite health upsets I have avoided that emotional issue.

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  3. in the past, I have used anger as motivation. For example, if someone is narrow-minded about something and it affects me, I use it as motivation to improve. In my blog, when I was let go so quickly from the “christian” private school …myself and another teacher….I now see the new English teacher didn’t last the year either so I guess they are looking for Mother Theresa/the Holy Grail/ some unknown entity. Sometimes you just have to look at the source of anger and see if it is stupid or can you really do anything but move on down the road. I know, it is easier to state than do.

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  4. We are all works in progress! I used to get angry so much easier than I do now, but believe me, that’s been through an intentional effort. At some point I just realized that the world has more than enough anger and certainly doesn’t need mine. But what is so very lacking is tolerance and understanding, and so I’m working on those traits. “Working on” being the key phrase…..

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    1. I think as long as we try….that’s all we can do. I’m trying to be more aware of my actions and triggers, but it’s so hard!! In some ways I’m calmer, but other times…..but I’m trying!

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