Sorry. This is going to be a bit of a rant, but something irked me and I have to
complain write about it.
A few weeks ago, Husband and I were at dinner with friends. My daughter was coming home from her tennis match (the parent who drove parks his car near the restaurant) and she saw us through the window, so she came in to say “Hi”. As this was about 7pm on a Saturday, our couple friends asked what she was doing that night, to which she responded “homework”.
To make this clear, my kid is an avid studier and not so avid partier. That’s just who she is. Grades and extracurricular are much more important to her, and she has surrounded herself with friends who feel the same way.
Well, S asked her where the boyfriend was. (I think you all remember my blog about this particular topic) And she said that a significant other isn’t even a thought in her mind, that she’s just not interested.
When she left, he said to me. “Don’t worry. One day she’s going to wake up and meet a boy.”
He continued. “It will happen. A boy will walk in and she’ll fall in love and won’t be alone anymore.”
I changed the subject. (also- to be clear- this is my husband’s friend) In my mind though, I was sort of pissed off. OK- not sort of. Really annoyed.
- What’s wrong with a kid who is a serious student?
- What’s wrong with a kid who doesn’t want to date?
- Why are you looking with me with pity in your eyes that my 16 year old doesn’t have a boyfriend and it’s a tragedy?
- Why are you consoling me with one day a prince will come mentality?
- Maybe I think his kids being under 30 and all married is the wrong choice….( I know- not a question, but emphatic point that I thought should be included here_)
I know. I’ve written this before, but today is blog as therapy day, and I have to put my frustration and anger on the page. But the real question is: why does it bother me so much? Am I really subconsciously worried about why my daughter doesn’t choose to date?
So I thought about this.
And I thought.
And I over thought.
And I’ve decided that no, I really don’t care whether or not my daughter dates. I’m actually pretty happy with the way she is. She’s confident and hard working. She’s a good person who isn’t mean and treats people with respect and dignity. She has self worth. She has friends who treat her with respect and dignity. She is a pretty happy kid, especially for a teenager growing up today. And maybe she is all these things because she has focused on herself instead of focusing on popularity or pairing off.
So here’s the lesson. Be yourself first. Figure out who you are, what you like, what you don’t like. Smile when someone gives you a look of pity, because you’ll probably have the last laugh.
Just like me. Rant over. Whew- aren’t you glad?