Back in the early days of our relationship, Husband and I did not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Hallmark holiday we called it. Day specifically intended to make people spend money.
Then, when our daughter was born, we still didn’t celebrate it with each other, but we made sure we had things for her. Little presents, candy, whatever. In elementary school I watched as she made little Valentines Cards to give to her classmates. I remember how excited she was to make a little cardboard mailbox in school, and come home with a box filled with little notes and candy and whatever else kids put in the boxes. Valentines Day had become another reason to celebrate my daughter.
Then a few years ago, Husband and I began celebrating Valentine’s Day. No presents, (we all know that I hate receiving presents) but we would go to dinner. And it is nice to go out on Valentines Day, even if it’s an overpriced prix fixe menu. As long as you go out during the rest of the year too.
Here’s the thing: it’s supposed to be a day to celebrate your relationship. But you should try to celebrate your relationship at least once a week. All year.
I know. Babysitter. Expensive. Exhaustion. Lack of free time. I get all that- been there, done that so to speak. But figure out a way to celebrate your relationship. One night, stay up a little later and watch a movie or tv show. Play a game. Get up 20 minutes early to have coffee together before the rest of the house is up. Something. Anything. Just once a week.
Because relationships need to be worked on. Relationships need to be nurtured. Your relationship should be one the top priorities in your life. If it’s not, you seriously have to ask yourself why it isn’t.
On top of spending time with your significant other, I want you to think about it another way: think about what lesson you are teaching your children. Children don’t learn from what we say. Children learn from what we do. They learn from our actions. If we show them that relationships don’t need to be worked on, that our significant others aren’t important, what lessons are they going to being to their own relationships? What kind of partners are they going to end up being? Your children are watching how you and your partner treat one another. They’re watching. Remember that.
Treat your partner with courtesy and respect. Fight fair (because kids should see you get into and out of arguments). And show them the love. Show them the wanting to spend time together. Show them that you want to be alone with your partner.
Because if you don’t respect your partner, or treat them with courtesy, or fight fair, or show them love, or want to spend time together, or want to be alone with them- if you are not making a little effort to be with them: what are you doing with that partner?
And there’s your Valentine’s message…..