Last month was “Give up your resolution Day”. Today, I officially absolve you of your obligations and resolutions and goals that you have not done anything with. After all, I’m the only one who really counts as far as forgiveness goes…
What?
No. What other people think doesn’t matter. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the resolutions you set and didn’t follow through on. It’s OK.
If you’re beating yourself up because you didn’t made it to the gym once, or cause your diet is stalled at page 4 of the new diet book, or your junk drawer is still filled with you know, junk….just stop. What good is berating yourself going to do?
I love the idea of resolutions and goals. And that’s part of the problem: people love the idea of them. They just don’t actually love doing the work they entail.
Why is this? Well, people think they should be thinner. Great. But the process of getting thin is hard. It requires a change in eating habits, an increase in exercise, in short: discipline.
There’s a lot of people out there who don’t do discipline.
Accept that about yourself.
It’s OK to not be disciplined.
Really.
Because when you stop feeling guilty about not having discipline, guess what? You feel better about yourself. And when you feel better about yourself, magical things happen. When you feel better about yourself, you give yourself the freedom to go after the things you REALLY want, not the things you think you should want.
When you’re not feeling guilty, you allow yourself to feel happy. You can’t be happy, fulfilled and guilty at the same time- your mind doesn’t work that way. The guilt will weigh you down. (There’s a theory about criminals: if a guilty person is in the interrogation room they will be very calm, as opposed to the innocent person in the same room, who will be agitated. When you know you’ve been caught, your mind automatically relaxes. See what you learn from reading mystery books?)
So, throw out that piece of paper with your list on it. Delete it from your phone. Just be yourself. Accept your strengths and your weaknesses. Embrace them.
It’s Ok to not have a goal. It’s OK to not want the same things as others. It’s OK to be yourself, in whatever form that is.
quite rational! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Every now and then….
LikeLiked by 1 person
at least 95% of the time!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉😗
LikeLiked by 1 person
What every goal procastinator needs to hear! Lol. I completely agree. I guess when you get frustrated that you don’t follow through a goal, it actually defeats the purpose. Goals, after all, are for self enhancement. If we get frustrated over it, we get frustrated with ourselves thus having the tendency to go back to bad habits. Great read as always LA. xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! Yeah….I think the guilt people put on themselves is worse….
LikeLike
Maybe if the New Year was celebrated in May we’d stand a chance. There’s just something about going on a diet in the middle of casserole season…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I start a lot if things in September….I equate new beginnings with the school calendar….
LikeLiked by 3 people
September is the real beginning, me thinks, and also the weather is still nice. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah….I do really well when I begin a project in September. That’s the real rebirth for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this! I hate on New Year’s everyone says they’re going to do “x, y, and z” and I know they’re not. I don’t even set those kind of resolutions anymore. I have goals, long term goals, that are realistic that I intend to keep. I think a lot of people put too much pressure on themselves to have a resolution and stick with it. It’s normal to fly off the handle and the band wagon every now and again. We’re human. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Exactly. I feel that if you want to do something, just do it. I think some people feel they “need” to make resolutions, instead of just figuring out the things that actually fulfill their lives.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I couldn’t agree more 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s why I make my vision cards instead of just listing “resolutions.” I have 6 vision cards with areas I want to focus on during the year. If I get one thing crossed off each area (or 3 things crossed off 1 area or whatever) I consider it a win. No pressure there.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s actually great. I think that anything that helps you achieve your goals is worthwhile
LikeLiked by 1 person
I usually resolve to do the same 2 things each year…
Don’t make stupid resolutions
and
learn how to start typing the new year (17, 18, 19 etc…)
so far, success every year 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
I like the typing the right year….😀
LikeLike
Not at all into setting goals, but for those who are goal setters, those resolutions can be started anytime throughout the year. Change doesn’t have to be implemented on the first day of the year. Changes can be implemented slowly. One day at a time, one item at a time. You are quite correct : beating yourself up is a no go zone. But if you really do want to do things differently, adding or deleting things from your life, start today, next week, next month. Who cares? It’s not about the time frame – it’s about just doing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I completely agree. My feeling is, if you want to do something you just do it….
LikeLike
Not to be snarky (okay, I am being snarky), but by the same token it’s also a relief to see the gym getting back to normal crowd levels once the “temporary” users begin to forget their promises. 🙂 – Marty
LikeLiked by 4 people
😜😜😜
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have a gym friend who makes one resolution every year…to not go to the gym in January while all the newbies are around
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ours is more crowded than ever. Still waiting for people to slack off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Someone took my spot in the body conditioning class. Throws off the whole space time continuum….
LikeLike
A good resolution: one day at a time…
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t make resolutions, but I do have a few “holiday pounds” to shed and I’m still working on it… so far, so good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We do our best!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My wise old grandmother told me in December 1965 not to make new year’s resolutions. She said that if it’s good enough for a resolution, then it’s good enough to start doing it RIGHT NOW!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your grandmother was very wise. Great advice
LikeLike
Phew, thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Alas we make resolutions from some addled perception that we actually have control over our lives, as one set of determination bites the dust, the brain, and heart are already formulating the next set.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think people think they want to be “better” but they don’t know exactly why
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLike
Nice post. We’d all be a lot happier if we did more of what makes us happy, and not what we think we should be doing all the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s exactly it. We get stuck with a bunch of shoulds, and they’re not what we really want. It takes a lot if self acceptance to get what we actually really want, as opposed to what society is telling us we want
LikeLike
Thanks! This is something that many of us needed to hear!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀😀
LikeLike
That last part is where the healing and growth is. Basically, you cannot have two different feelings about yourself. One is always going to win.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great way to explain it!! As always!
LikeLiked by 1 person