This idea has been stewing in my “Blog Ideas” folder for awhile, cause I wasn’t sure if it was something I could accurately write about, but I’m going to try.

Why do some people still think that women should have boyfriends/be married/have a significant other?

Why do some people still wonder what is wrong with a woman who does not have a partner of some sort?

Let’s bring in the personal anecdote.  My daughter is in High School.  She has no interest in dating.  None.  Reasons don’t matter.  It’s just not on her very long to do list.

Personally, I don’t care.  It’s her decision as to what she wants to do with her free time.

But other people…..I’ve heard some the following:

“She would make time for dating if it was important.”  It’s not important to her

“Why doesn’t she want to date? It doesn’t seem normal?” Define normal

“But she’s so pretty.  Pretty girls have no problem getting boyfriends.” WTF?

“I’m telling you she has a boyfriend.  She’s just sneaking around.” Then she’d honestly be a magician cause I have no idea how she would fit one into her schedule without me knowing about it

“She must be a lesbian?’ Really, based on the fact that she doesn’t want to date at all?

“She’s lying to you.  That’s bad.  You have to figure out why she is lying to you?” WTF?

“Have you taken her to a therapist?  She must have issues?”  Really?  Her not wanting to date means she has issues that require a therapist?

“She must like bad boys.” ?

“I know a nice boy for her.  She should have a boyfriend.” OMG she’s 15.

And so on.

These are quotes from “well meaning” friends and family who are “trying to look out for the best interest of my daughter” because “we are not paying enough attention to her.”

It’s 2018.  We are supposed to be empowering women.  Yet the first thing we think about when we see an unattached woman is that they need a partner in their life?  How there is something wrong with a woman who does not have anyone in their life?

I have a acquaintance who has a daughter in her late 20’s.  The daughter has had a series of crap boyfriends over the years and the Mother is happy with that because the daughter is “not alone and she has someone to protect her”.

Someone else I know said of their daughter “She should marry the guy she’s dating.  Who else is going to want her when she has two little kids in tow.  How many guys want to be a stepfather?”

What is the number one reason women who are single don’t want to go to family functions?  They don’t want to be asked about their love life.  There was even a commercial about a girl asking the rental car agent to pose as her boyfriend.  Commercials go through focus groups and testing.  People thought that was a good idea.

Why do people think that everyone should be paired up?

Why do some women feel ashamed if they don’t have a partner?

Why does a woman have to explain why she doesn’t have/want a partner?

What do you all think?  Do you ever look at a single woman and wonder why she is single?

 

 

 

136 thoughts on “Why Doesn’t She Have a Boyfriend?

  1. Theres two types of people in this world, people that have a need for others and people that have a need for themselves. Sometimes we are confused, sometimes we arent mature and sometimes we really dont want a partner. It baffles how tabboo it is on some people’s eyes to be single, as if they were afraid to be by themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I so love this post. I am 29 years old, and this is the time of my life that people from different walks of life ask me those questions that you’ve enumerated. It is soo annoying, especially questions like “When are you going to marry?” and “Why don’t you still have a boyfriend?” Most of the time, I wanted to defend and explain myself. But slowly, I learned how to stay calm and let those questions pass by and fly. As long as I know to myself that I love what I do as of the moment, what I want in life, without hurting or affecting others, I will live happy. 🙂 status is a choice. and we are all free to choose. 🙂 Happy International women’s day! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am by myself ‘Single’ and ’30 years’ old. And I am always bombarded this question. People are more interested in others life than themselves. It is important everyone understands ‘Marriage’ is not a bad thing to do.. it is good and beautiful. However, its not all. There is much more to achieve, experience and explore beyond ‘Marriage’.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Bravo! Good entry.

    “Why do some people still wonder what is wrong with a woman who does not have a partner of some sort?” Good question. Why does it matter.

    If your daughter’s not interested in dating, could be that she’s living a life and focused on herself and her interests. My son is the same. I wish I had been that way in high school.

    Ug! Those comments from others (well meaning or not).

    What do I think? As a father, I would hate to think that my daughter dated because she felt it was expected. I would be upset – actually very upset – if she dated, married etc because she felt it was expected. Young people need to find their own way with the support of their family. All I want for my child is for him to be happy. Sounds like that is your priority as well. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

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