We’ve been having something of a cold snap in the northeast.  I honestly don’t know when NYC was last above freezing, temps hovering about 20 degrees, the wind-chill often making it worse.   NYC public schools are actually closed today, because of snow storm that is on the way.  So yes, weather is getting to us.

Last week, Husband went out to walk dog in the morning.  When he came back in I asked the now usual question “How is it out?” /  To which he replied, “Not bad.  No wind.”  I checked the temp.  16 degrees.  Real feel.  16 degrees.  We had gotten to the point where 16 felt good.  Seriously.

Are we stupid?

Well, yeah.

But- we naturally learn to adjust to our surroundings, whatever they may be.  If you don’t adapt, well, you’re not going to do well.  Adapt or die.

Adapting to your environment is an essential skill.  You get a new boss at work that you don’t like.  You have two options:  adapt to the new style of management or quit and get another job.  Both of these require adapting, to changing your outlook, habits and environment.  I mean, you could stay in the same job with a boss you hate and not change anything, but what is going to come out of that?  Are you going to be miserable every day?  Is your work going to suffer? Are you going to get fired?  Will this situation at work negatively effect every aspect of your life?

The only constant is that things change.  Every day brings new and different challenges.  My in laws hate using the internet.  They think it’s a fad and it’s stupid.  Ok fine.   They are entitled to their opinions.  But when they need to buy something like a plane ticket?  They want to just call and find out information.  Now, anyone who has tried to book a plane ticket knows that the best and easiest way to do this is to go online.  But they refuse.  They call up the airline. They sit on hold for hours.  They finally get the information.  They are told that it costs more money to book over the phone.  They hang up and call my Husband and ask him to book the tickets.  Did they adapt?  I guess you could say they did.  But what if my Husband wasn’t around?  The solution can’t always be to get someone else to do your work.  Sometimes the solution is to figure it out and learn a new way.  The solution is to adapt to the new reality.

What if you don’t like the way something is going?  Should you adapt?

Here’s the thing- you should never do something you are not comfortable with.  you should never conform for conformity sake.  But you have to choose your battles wisely.  Is the stand you’re taking really worth the effort.  Is my in-laws refusal to use the internet ridiculous, or is it them being them.  Cause remember, at the end of the day, they still used the internet to buy their tickets, they just didn’t do it themselves.  And they wasted a whole bunch of time, and got needlessly frustrated.

So I guess my convoluted point is this:  Figure out how to best live your life while realizing that things are constantly in flux.  One of my mottos is- It’s nice to visit the past, but you don’t want to move there.  You can’t go back, you can only go forward, and you have to figure out how to make things work for you.  You have to adapt.

 

 

58 thoughts on “Adapt or Die

  1. Good point. I am taking an online course in Instructional Technology this year because I need to know more about using technology in the classroom and because I don’t want it to be a constant weakness. I figure I know more than some people about technology and less than others which puts me on the middle rung, so I made the decision to take some courses.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I agree. It is just like learning in a business to make cupcakes. We thought we knew every cupcakes until we started listening to our customers and were we wrong. Well, time moves on and now we have to accomplish the next things on our list. It is 30 degrees in Central Gulf Coast, Florida. We are cold. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better but growing up in the Catskills, I understand that bone numbing cold. Stay warm.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Hahaha! I laughed when I read “they think the internet is a fad”! Well, yes, if the apocalypse is nigh, perhaps it is. Yes, we must learn to adapt…but fear is sure a heady drug, isn’t it? It can paralyze us, and fear of change is a big hurdle for most of us. I am all about change, and learning to adapt…unless, you know, it’s too much, and not too fast. I like your blog so much! Thanks for writing. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Luckily I’m a very adaptable person however I do agree that fear can paralyze you and I’m open to learning new things this year maybe even some things I have nothing to do with my blogging or my desire to have a business but just something fun that I want to do like learning to draw

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Adaptation, an important word. But, do we really die if we don’t adapt? I think it depends on what it is we are adapting to. I agree that after a few weeks we learn to adapt to situations, our environment etc. And we have choices as to whether or not we keep a positive attitude about changes or complain about it. But some things to some people are just not adaptable. You used technology as an example. Personally, I love technology. I’m using my iPad Pro, love my iPhone and my MacBook book pro and my smart TV. I’m the tech person my friends call when they have a problem. And being a senior citizen I suppose this is rare, but I can’t imagine how anyone wouldn’t take advantage of having the world at their fingertips. But since I now live in an over 55 community since my husband passed, I’ve learned that technology scares the heck out of most seniors. They are scared of it. It changes too quickly for them and they can’t keep up. Where I have fun learning new things others my age put up a wall. I ve tried relentlessly to update the residents where I live and show them techniques to improve the efficiency of their lives but they gripe, “ I’m on a fixed income, I can’t afford a phone or computer, I can’t see, I dont get it etc. “ I suppose it’s rather like me trying to Re-haul a car. I’m not even going to bother learning how to look under the hood of my car. I’ll hire a car mechanic. I guess some things are just as daunting. I’ve given tech lessons, helped friends. Made a folder of instructions and put it on their desktops in case they forget, and still it doesn’t stay with them. I guess sometimes you really can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And sometimes elderly people don’t want to learn. Especially if they resist. Actually, They’ve earned the right to not want to do some things. Recently I discovered I can’t see great at night when I drive. So I don’t drive very much at night. I took an Uber to my 50th high school reunion. I wore my cool girl jeans and still felt like the girl who was in the first all girl’s rock band in 1966 in South Florida . I wasn’t going to miss the event because I couldn’t drive there. So, yeah, we all have to adapt, but I think everyone at some point says to hell with this. I’m probably younger than your in laws and older than you. ( A junior-senior). Still protesting, still relevant, but now I don’t drive at night. We all have our limitations as we adapt to the aging process. And as we age we feel like we earned that right. Like I tell my 44 year old son, “I’m not driving to your house at night to baby sit. Deal with it.” And if he wants me to watch the kids he’ll either bring them to me or pick me up. Boom!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great comments! Thanks! And maybe die is a little strong(I hate creating titles) but if you don’t adapt to not driving at night….well….and my father in law. While he’s lived to be 80, his triglycerides are horrible, he won’t change his diet and he’s already had a stroke. At some point, he has to adapt….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, certainly people should change what they can change. Eating right is key. But night blindness is real. My father had it, My brother had it first, myself and now my younger sister. It is something that happens with age. I drive locally at night, but I have noticed that the light of oncoming cars is so glaring that I am literally blinded by it and cannot see anything in front of me at all. It’s a real thing. So then, I become a hazard to other drivers. I’ll post an informative article about it. Its a real thing.

        I do think some people can adapt better than others if they are willing and cope better as they age. But I have also learned that I didn’t understand what my parents went through as they aged because I hadn’t experienced it yet. While our body is still healthy and functioning perfectly we often think it will last forever and don’t understand when it starts to change or fail. Sometimes certain people just can’t do certain things. And that’s ok if they figure out an alternative and don’t rely on others to do everything for them. I can’t lift the 24 case of water bottles any more. So when I need to re supply those, I use shipt.com because they deliver it. (I have given this advice to my neighbors but many are afraid to go online and use it.) I prefer being independent so I do. However, as far as night driving,I am not going to be a driving hazard to others. I’ll call an Uber. We as a community need to be understanding of people’s limitations. Americans are not kind with anyone who is young with limitations or elderly. (I taught school for 36 years and the school board expected every child to be the same when that’s impossible.)
        The problem I see, at least with my own children is that they are used to a mother who was a spitfire and always an independent soul. I still am that girl. I just can’t do certain things. Jane Fonda said she can’t run or ski any more. Stuff happens. I’m 68. Not terribly old, but I have noticed that my late 60’s kicked my behind. And I am not going to be that arrogant person who refuses to admit when I cannot do certain things. I don’t see well at night to drive far. So I make allowances. I HAVE adapted. Perhaps you and your hubby have to adapt your expectations of your in laws. Just saying there may be two ways to look at it. Then again, your in laws may just be a pain in the behind. Mine were. LOL

        Liked by 2 people

      2. My in laws are definitely a pain….the stories I could tell…..trust me….my blog name comes from the fact that things started to fall apart post 50….I try to take care of myself, but I knew I have to adapt to by bodies lack of flexibility and stuff

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes Yes. Went to my 40th reunion this year after having missed some of the reunions, I felt like the odd one. Not sure if I want to attend any more.
      I also not liking the night time driving if more than local, highway I’ll pass. #maketodaycount #conquerfear

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Interesting. My mother is 75 and is on Facebook more than I am. Adapting is necessary, but being stubborn takes precedence sometimes. They simply don’t want to change, as opposed to having to. Also, 16 degrees can’t be too bad. I have friends in Calgary where it was -29. Yes, that’s NEGATIVE 29.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. After we arrived in Florida, I noticed so many older people struggling to use the gas pumps. I was dumbstruck by it until it was finally explained to me that I was seeing snow birds from New Jersey who aren’t normally pumping their own gas. That makes sense, but then the same person told me many of them never grasp the concept over their entire winter stay. Yikes. – Marty

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hope the weather improves!
        I agree with you, you have to adapt and change.To be fair to your in-laws, it is hard to learn new things but really you just have to do the best you can. Go on a course and learn the basics. Maybe if someone showed them how easy it is to browse the internet and instruct them by displaying a web page you know will fascinate them, it might encourage them to have a go? Anyway, an inspiring post which makes you think. Thanks, A x

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Sound advice. But often easier said than done. We’re creatures of habit, and technology terrifies some older people (rightly or wrongly). I do think it’s important to keep challenging ourselves, and not rely on machines or others to do simple things like wind our watches.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Adapting skills are stronger in some, now my husband adapts by asking me or whining until I do it(whatever that is) or maybe make such a mess of it that I will do it. See he adapts. I now adapt in turn, kind of symbiotic.

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      1. To a point Cozy. Living in an over 55 community I see a variety of people considered senior citizens. I’ve realized that you cannot expect people in their 80’s and older to adapt to technology. They won’t do it. I’ve tried to update things in my community and received a lot of resistance. That’s why they get fooled by on line fraud, fake phone calls etc. they don’t understand tech scams etc. Heck, I am computer savvy and I don’t enjoy Instagram or gaming. And I get a new iPhone every two years and love technology. My father died at 90. He wouldn’t use the cell phone we got him for emergencies. These are often people who can’t see, hear, and it’s too confusing for them and so they prefer talking to a person. We need to be tolerant. Just as I need to be tolerant of millennials, many who are incredibly clueless about history and refuse to google and research facts. That drives me nuts. Especially as a teacher. I have to be patient with them because they grew up with technology and are often lazy about researching info. (Yet will take boundless selfies or photos of their meals. (Yawn). But don’t know or care to know the struggles women endured to get the right to vote, or understand that we couldn’t get credit cards in our own names without a husband’s signature or a father’s even in the 1970’s and the list goes on. In my opinion, their ignorance cost us the last election whereas older voters kept up on the facts . Maybe the oldies didn’t read their news on line and still used a newspaper, but they DID research candidates and went to hear them speak. So it’s easy to place blame on different generations. I suppose now that I’m in my late 60’s I’m rethinking age. But, as a retired teacher I just can’t tolerate ignorance. As long as people are learning, no matter how they approach it, then they are being progressive. Right now, I find millennials ( not all ,my youngest son is one and he is incredibly aware) more of a problem than the elderly. It’s all perspective.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Good post. I had to smile at your in laws and their reluctance to embrace the internet as when Kindles first came out, I swore blind I wasn’t having one. OH bought me one anyway and I love the damn thing haha. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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